The other side
by Erintii
Summary: As we all know, Feanor forged Silmarills and after the assassination of his father decided to chase Morgoth. We know about The Oath and its terrible consequences. But what about Noldor who remained in Tirion, the other side? How Valar appraised actions of whole family and what happened next? We know Finarfin was forgiven but was that unconditional? Slight AU possible.
1. Snowy mountains

This is the story developed originally as a chapter of other story (my long story about Tom Bombadil if anyone is curious). I haven't planned it to be so long but now it's almost independent history. I started to asking myself question what was the social and political situation in Valinor (but mostly among Noldor) soon before and after the revolt by Feanor and Kinslaying. I am deeply interested in politics in a real life and it drove me to the conclusion that it was probably complicated. We know what Feanor did but what about those Noldor who stayed in Valinor? How they felt about actions of Finwe, Feanor and the rest of royal family? Secondly, let's guess how Valar consider this...

I will try to follow events described in canon. If I make mistake with dates please correct me. English is my second language so please be forgiving for the language. I did my best to translate the text but without beta reader this is the best I can do.

 **Warnings:** Not sure if any, except for the fact I am not the fan of Feanor. No slash or non-canonical pairings, but complicated (non-sexual, non-romantic) relations will appear later.

 **Disclaimer:** The wonderful world of Arda do not belong to me. The picture in a profile is a screen shot of Morgan from the Merlin TV series.

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Nimwen has always been different than other Noldo. Her passion and interest were related to poetry and books and not crafts, sculpture and metalwork. By nature, she became closer to Vanyar, so often considered as 'poets with little knowledge about life'. Nimwen, however as pale and sensitive elleth, understood them better. She felt safest in a warm safety of the great Library, especially since she has been hiding a secret. Barely anyone was aware of it, including siblings. She developed loving relationship with older brother and sister, even if they have only few common interests.

As a craftsman's daughter she was expected to help parents in their duties. Nimwen however, was a complete klutz when it comes to any handwork. Her mother, skilled embroideress, tried hard to learn her how to treat the material gently. Lessons maybe do not end up in the ultimate disaster, however results were hardly satisfactory. Parents themselves began to encourage her to read, not wanting her lack of skills lead to destruction of supplied goods. It was then she discovered passion for reading and learning. She was born in a happy, peaceful time when everyone believed in a bright future.

Melkor, the first Dark Lord, was imprisoned somewhere in the Halls of Mandos. Elves largely lived in the Undying Lands, whereas those who chose to remain the Middle-Earth lived in a relative peace and harmony. Nothing more dangerous than wandering beasts threatened them. Only Queen Melian of Doriath knew about sinister and dark creatures of Angband. She remembered that Dark Vala caused destruction of the Almaren and doubt if peace and safety would last forever. Barely no one the Middle-Earth, knew about her former friendship with Dark Vala, but if Melkor was imprisoned cannot threat them!

Nimwen was born in the same time when Noldorian Prince, Fëanor wedded Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan. Huge debate proceed marriage of his father, Finwë the High King of Noldor, with princess Indis of Vanyar. The whole Tirion was discussing if it is even right for the elf to have a second wife. Finwë was granted a special permission from the Valar, but elves were still concerned. To make matters worse, Fëanor, the firstborn son of the king, spoken against father's plans in public. The discussion between them must have been tough as gossip about storm spread very quickly. No one, and certainly Nimwen not suspect how their fate will one day related.

The weeding of Fëanor and Nerdanel were accompanied by no less attention than the union of the king Finwë and Indis. Mahtan descended from non-royal family, however belonged to the inner circle of Aulë's household as the student of Vala. Such position made him a person greatly appreciated by the Noldorian society with a status lower only that a royal kindred. Only the High King of Elves, Ingwë, called refer to him as "the parvenu". Unkind words quickly reached red-haired, hot-tempered man. Mahtan had rather poor opinion of the High King and got went mad. The fuss almost ended to the breaking the engagement and huge scandal.

Indis, mild and gentle queen, trying to love her stepson despite his apparent reluctance, gave a helping hand. She visited angry Nerdanel trying to calm down elleth offended by words of Ingwë. Being raised in the household of Aulë and Yavanna, she was taught to judge according to hard work and talents but not number of princes in the family. Her father was respected among their people by his skills and position of Disciple of Aulë. Nerdanel considered herself as the daughter of talented and hard-working father not "the commoner" unworthy to talk with Fëanor as Ingwë suggested.

'My stepson loved you very much. He needs you'- said Indis – 'I believe this feeling is mutual'

'Indeed, my lady' – answered Nerdanel – 'I love Fëanor with all my heat, however your uncle.'

'Don't be afraid and listen to your heart. I did the same long time ago when married my beloved Finwë. We are living happily ever after. Together with my handmaidens I will help you with necessary preparations'

'Thank you for your generous offer, however I will be given anything required from my household. It would be a great offense not to accepts jewels and flowers from my place'

'I see'- said Indis – 'My family did the same for me. Will your father find a time for preparation? Mine got neither skills no time'

'Do not underestimate him my lady'

'There is no need to call my lady if you are going to be my daughter'

'Shall I call you mother then? Make a wish and I will obey. Are we going to live in your place?

'We will see Nerdanel'

The discussion between stepmother to Fëanor and daughter to Mahtan was widely commented. Fëanor has already presented violent and possible dangerous traits of characters. No one managed to predict the dreadful end to come. Both Finwë and Indis considered marriage as the best solution for the impetuous prince. Union with the appropriate woman may help to hold his temper. Wise Nerdanel hold such promise. She was an elleth of strong will and dark-haired elf needed a strong hand, something his father never deliver to him.

The red-haired elleth was able to keep him company both in a forge and discussion. Evan as a child, she took a chisel and carving. Assistants of Aulë provided her with a special, small tools matching child's palms. No wonder she gained proficiency in handworks which made Fëanor to admiration her. After all, their first meeting took place when Finwë asked Mahtan for tuition.

'It is unusual for the elleth to work with chisel'- he said slowly – 'in most cases they prefer to change their cloths'

'You must be talking with a boring maidens'- she answered with a smile – 'or maybe visiting wrong places. Are you going to be a pupil of my father?'

'Pupil? Why do you think so?'

'Just a guessing game'- she giggled looking at him carefully. Her brown eyes showed some interest ='Many clients of us are either willing to order goods or get training. I am Nerdanel, daughter of Mahtan'

'I am Fëanor, son of High King Finwë'- he answered – 'my father indeed wants me to learn more about blacksmithing' – he explained quite astonished she did not curtsy.

'I see, my father informed us during yesterday's dinner. Have you ever tried to work with metal?'

'Few times only'- he explained – 'Metals are so interesting and full of possibilities. I want to learn more. Do you anything about blacksmithing Nerdanel?'

'Yes, but craving is my real passion. I know how to work with metals and gems, you won't believe me but as elfing I used to have my own, small tools'

'Unbelievable!'- Fëanor became really interested in a red-haired elleth.

They have no idea, that fathers were looking at them carefully. Finwë started his silent prayers to thank Eru for a young elleth able to his stubborn son's attention. Mahtan remained calm, as he decided not to interfere with his daughter decisions. Fëanor was no better or worse than other young elf. He agreed to tutor son of the High King and encourage Nerdanel to spend time with him. In coming years, he bitterly regretted this decision.

Niemen was born in a warm, charming night. During better times of peace and happiness in Valinor, all nights were like that. She was the youngest child and second daughter born in a family of craftsmen. They name her Nimwen, which means "white" as she seemed paler than other babies. She was healthy as everyone in Aman, and blesses with a complexion of an alabaster. Her mother and relatives were excited with her delicacy but less with more and more leans clumsiness.

Even as a child, she loved reading books, listening to songs accompanied with an uncommon for Noldor clumsiness. Parents have never allowed her to carve in order to prevent accident. Mother taught the art of embroidery, but eventual results were considered only as satisfactory. It was her father who talked with a friend from Vanyar about her later education. He was painfully aware that Nimwen in a forge is a serious threat for everyone including herself, but might master other arts. Love towards books and singing make her ideal student for Vanyar and may become a tutor or bookkeeper one day?

'I will welcome her in our place at the slope of Taninquentil'- said Vanyarin elf – 'My close friend is a teacher. Young members of our Kindred are his students, but I am sure he will welcome Noldo with open heart. He is upset with all of those stories about "closed" Vanyar and "practical" Noldor. There is no reason to become divided'

Nimwen, excited about new places, wasn't sure if he wants to leave the family home. Tall, blond elf was speaking in such a cordial, softly voice that deep trust seemed natural. 'I am goind to see cities and houses of other kindred'- she said, unaware of how this decision will change her life. The vision of the great library filled with books or artists painting gardens convinced her more than vision of forges or workshops considered generally as attractive.

From the very first moments she understood the difference between Noldor and "Light-elves" called "Blind" by those less polite. Mutual relations between High King of elves, Ingwë, High King and Fëanor has never been cordial and has become even hostile after Fëanor wedded Nerdanel. No one really knows who started the conflict. The visibly cold and almost hostile attitude of the firstborn son of Finwë towards his stepmother was certainly adding fuel to the fire. Ingwë was not aware to stand criticism toward his close relative, Indis. Since ages, Finwë has disliked Vanya and refer to him as "mocking pompous fool" and his pomposity. Knowing that Ingwë is very proud form " _sitting at the feet of Manwë_ " he made numerous jokes out of it. ' _Dear cousin, have you ever checked if anyone is sitting on the throne? Remind me if I am wrong, but Elder King is not invisible'_. During one of the celebrations, Ingwë decorated his head with a huge, richly decorated, crown. The whole crown resembled rays coming out of the head, but Finwë asked loudly: ' _No one is wearing his horn so openly in public, except our Highest King. Are corridors of the palace corridors wide enough for the Highest Prongs of Elves?_ '

Ingwë went red in anger and called Finwë the bigamist. It seemed to be a matter of time when harsh discussion end as a fight. Indis acted quickly to prevent this, as quickly as she always need to act when those two met. They never have been friends, but Ingwë harsh words summarizing Fëanor's behaviour has put his father into defence position. He let no one to criticize his firstborn, but even though, for Indis, he was eager to change the whole situation. Proud Ingwë refused, could forget calling him a " _Highest Prongs of Elves"._ He considered everyone, including Finwë, as minor and work hard to develop etiquette. He was left almost alone, when Manwë removed him from his closest circle and do not consider him as the Disciple anymore. Ingwë indeed loved title of the Highest King above everyone and everything else, but was also right about Fëanor.

Nimwen has heard several stories from Vanyar. They seemed to suffer from time to time because of the Ingwë's moods, but in most cases their leader was sitting at the highest peaks of Taninquentil and talking to the air. The remaining Vanyar seemed different than him: much more cheerful, mature and wise. She loved their company and consider years with them as probably best time of her life. She was so naïve and innocent then!

The Vanyarin households were different from those by Noldor. Even architecture was touched by their love towards light. Wooden, spacious houses seemed empty in the eye of non-Vanyar. All chambers got large windows and ceiling decorated with a motifs of light. They prefer simple decoration to complicated sculptures and tapestry by Noldor. All rooms were furnished only in the most necessary equipment due to saving spaces and light and not poverty. In Nimwen's opinion such emptiness was weird but not unpleasant.

Floors of the day rooms were covered with carpets. Both younger and older members of the family or a group were sitting on a fluffy carpet with book or scroll. Except for reading and writing they love discussing, while drinking a glass of wine or tea. Even kids were encouraged to participate and were provided with a juice. Nimwen was asked to tell more about customs of Noldor. Her introduction was proceed by long discussion if open and lightly furnished houses are practical and comfortable. Even the youngest were allowed to speak, no opinions were forbidden unless justified. Who start screaming and try to upset the opponent were banished from the discussion. For young Vanyar such punishment was severe as no kids played with someone who "don't know how to speak".

It was then she felt in love in a long discussions. They talked about almost every topic, even really abstractive. Most Noldor consider such behaviour as the waste of time, as crafting or metalwork were better choice. Nimwen felt opposite and dwelt in the house of old, noble, Vanyarian teacher together with other kids. Most of the time they sit in the largest, dining room or in a garden.

'Your daughter fit us well'- elf told her father – 'she is hardworking and open minded, more than most Noldor I must admit'

'Me and my wife are happy to let Nimwen stay here. She is a total klutz when it comes to handwork. I feel safe when she is far away from any workshop or forge. I consider path of teacher or scholar as much better for her. Can I stay for a while and listen tu your discussion?'

He welcomed Nimwen cheerfully, wanted for his daughter nothing but a group she considers as close friends. She developed normal relations with girls from the neighbourhood, but belonged here. In that times elves were somehow united, even if relations between Fëanor, Ingwë and Finwë were getting worse.

'You are radiating'- said father –' do not forget to visit us soon, mother baked an fruit pie'

'Even the slopes of Taninquentil can be sweeter than mama's baked goods'

'I am fully aware of your mother skills'- smirked teacher –' but come back soon, as the vivid soul of Noldor is priceless for the discussion'

'I am not going to leave you for long'- she promised.

She fullfilled her promise and came back few days after. Nimwen loved her relatives, but in the company of Vanyar felt the level of understanding inaccessible anywhere else. She belondged here and that was her group and nothing could be better than discussions accompanied with a tasty pie and juice. As an adult she changed juice into wine, but still loved talking. Maybe one day she will become a teacher?

In that time, she was more concentrated on the present not future. Gossips were really interesting and regardless common misconseptions Vanyar loved gossip, even if prefer music and poetry to gossip.

'Would you like to see a snow Nimwen'- she was asked this question when come back from her parents place.

'The snow?'

'Yes, snow havent't you seen a white snow? Have you ever played with snowballs'- asked one of the students – 'If so, you missed a great fun. Nevertheless, it is not lost'!

Soon after they went on a walk to the higher parts of the mountain. Nimwen quickly realized why they were asked to bring coats with them. Never before she has felt a cold, as snow was extremely rare phenomena in the Undying Lands. Icy winds were unpleasant experience for young elleth, but she was also excited. Her long, black hair with a delicate shade of blue looked very different from the whiteness nearby.

Snowy forest resembled a place from a fairy tales. The white snow shine with a countless colour in the light of Two Trees. Nimwen got impression as if gems were spread around, which lead her to touch a snow with a bare hand. Large, majestic trees resembled those from Vanyar gardens but looked so bizarre covered in a snow not leaves! The whole place was no shiny, that eyes almost hurts. Light was ubiquitous in Aman, but this forest was the brightest.

Pathway covered with snow seemed alien when compare to those known to Nimwen. The overall lightness was so amazing, pristine and pure that almost overwhelming. Such impression probably leads Vanyar to become so obsessed with a light.

'Let's build a caste'

Nimwen liked the idea. Her maternal aunt was living in Alqualondë, beautiful costal city. She spent a lot of time with her cousins on a beach on swimming and of course playing. They built the whole city using the sand and later develop the whole history of its inhabitants. Nimwen liked the sea but not as much as Teleri. She used to visit them from time to time and enjoyed their company but not as much as the company of Vanyar. Still she preferred talking about horizon and miracles of the water domain to all of those practical works of Noldor. Years later she was discussing if maybe Noldorian love towards craft and metal made them targets for the Dark Lord.

She took her place on a snow and helped companions with w castle. They really froze during their activities but no one grumbled. Building a snow caste was a great exercise for the imagination and some

'How about terrace here?'- asked companion.

'No'- she answered – 'it will make the whole building unstable. Let's put terrace somewhere in the middle. The caste's inhabitants may meet here to talk'

'It looks nicer here!'

'Yes, but this is not good for a building!'

They spend almost an hour discussing where is the best place to insert terrace. Both sides presented strong arguments and eventually castle were left unfinished. Elves were less sensitive towards cold than humans, buy even though they were cold. The cup of hot chockolate seemed the best solution and ending of such wonderful day!

'I feel like warm wine'- said Nimwen.

'No chance, we are still kids in their eyes. It's getting colder'

They start discussion about prons and cons of wine and chocholate and failed to notice two figures looking at them carefully. The mysterious creatures covered faces and seemed unspecific in a long, dark coats. It was not unusual to protect head from the icy winds, but those strangers were only looking but not trying to join elves.

Nimwen got impression they were not in a snowy forest. She was sure that someone was looking, even if she explained why she felt that. The impression seemed weird but not scary, as what can be scary on the slope of Taninquentil? Maybe other elves also decided to buult a snow castle?

'Everyone who enteres this place for the very first time, got impression the forest itself is lookig'- explained on of the compation –'it is nothing but illussiomn, unless someone from the palace is walking nearby'- he pointed some place in the sky –' there is no reason to be scared'

'The palace?' – Nimwen asked.

'I will pretend you haven't asked me a question'- askwered the elf –'the mountain does not belong to elves, but we were _allowed_ to settle here. The snowy forest is the highest place accessible for us all. You can't walk higher without the invitation. Higher'- again he pointed light point somewhere higher –'beyons snows and everything else marvellous palace is located, where King and Queen of Valar dwell. This is a place of everlasting spring and light is everywhere'

'Maybe we can continue when back home? I'm freezing'

'Let's go and ask our teacher to tell more about the palace'

They were getting cold and decided to come back. They had became so cold, that even did not comment Nimwen's lack of knowledge about the palace. However, when they are back, that are going to discuss. Everyone living with Vanyar need to possess a basic knowledge!

The happy and peaceful time of living and studying with Vanyar was coming to an end. It made Nimwen sad, as she dreamed about staying here forever. Maybe one day she would become a teacher and spend more time with peaceful elves so deep in love with poetry and discussions? She was happy with an idea of working with children. Her sister-in-law has recently had birth to a young girl which made Nimwen very proud.

'I have visited the Library'- he announced one day – 'I mean, the Library in the palace".

Nimwen asked no more questions. She knew what "palace" he referred to, as friends told her numerous stories about Taninquentil and why Vanyar decided to settle here. _'We felt in love in this place in the very first sight. King and Queen of Valar allowed us to settle here. At the beginning, they used to invite us to their palace quite often and teach before… before the misunderstandings happened'_. The votive of elf went very sad every time he was speaking about past events. Nimwen realized it must have had a lot of to do with past mistakes.

After a longer period of time, and several glasses of wine, he explained it was Ingwë who initiated misunderstandings. At the beginning, Valar considered elves as young creatures seeking knowledge. As "Older ones" as they call themselves, they invited elfings to teach about poetry and spiritual knowledge. Vanyar become interested in a poetry and arts more than others thanks to Manwë and Varda teachings. Valar also decided to choose Disciple or Tutees who would later deliver knowledge to his/her kin.

Ingwë was the first one selected, but this decision was a mistake. Elf was astonished and happy to be selected by Manwë himself and become very proud. He started to considered himself as special being supreme and maybe even higher than other elves. When his mentor invited him to the palace, other elves named him as "The Highest King of Elves". It was a disaster and eventually turned Ingwë into proud, unpleasant and rude creature. He remained in palace, but not as the Disciple. It didn't bother him as he was still a High King and was spending hours on developing pompous speeches. Such behaviour made Manwë even more irritated and as the results Elder King barely speak to his former Disciple. Moreover, both Manwë and Varda became more suspicious and less eager to invite elves to their place.

Ingwë's love for titles for the very first time made relation between Valar and elves colder and more formal. It was then Powers realize, that posture of distant and terrifying Lords seems to work efficiently. 'The Younger Ones' – as they called elves need to realize Valinor is ruled by Valar not them. Ingwë was not the only one to misuse teachings, but fortunately he did nothing but talking.

Young Nimwen heard about actions of Ingwë. She used to dream about entering the Library in the Palace at the highest peak of Taninquentil. What can be closer to heaven than visiting a place where all the books and scrolls are collected. But is it even possible for her to visit the Library?

'Theoretically it is possible- he explained – 'The King and Queen of Valinor sometimes allow elves to reach their Library only if consider plea as reasonable'

'How can my plea be reasonable?'

'Difficult to say, but if you seek knowledge for a better understanding of our world tell it in your plea. Please keep in mind to never under no circumstances even try to impress them. Valar tend to ask you're the same question in a slightly different way and become upset if notice the difference'

'I see, but is it even possible for me to see?'

'To see a wonders of the Library?' – he answered with a smile – 'my dear Nimwen, from time to time I am given an invitation to a Palace. Moreover, I am also allowed to take my most promising pupils with me. I chose you among others, so you can deliver your plea personally'

She was thrilled but also scared. Valar were noble and powerful beings that should not be bother with minor issues. The idea of talking to them seem impossible and even maybe not appropriate. To make matters worse, she had no idea about etiquette! How to behave? Which dress to wear? She became even paler than usual: scared but also interested.

'But how it that possible? How should I?'

'Ah, I see you are not sure how to behave? Not sure about etiquette? - he asked – 'First of all do not kneel. Just don't do it regardless heavy urge. Valar are ruling our world but do not require such gestures. Secondly do not speak unless asked. Answer every question sincerely and according to your best knowledge. Do not try to make impression of being wise and exceptional. Lastly do not use fancy titles, simply end each sentence with "Lord" of "Lady". Is it clear?

'Which dress should I choose?' – she asked dramatically.

Elf laughed, seeing the whole situation as hilarious. He was one of the oldest and wisest Vanyar, but despite common conceptions not insensitive for a pleasures of life. Actually he was happy to see his student interested in clothes, as he never wanted Nimwen to become miserable woman not willing to enjoy life. He remembered old times, when Valar welcomed elves as younger members of the family in Aman. Now situation is different, but from time to time he was granted an invitation to the palace. Before Fëanor started his rebellion and hurt so many, Valar used to invite elves to their places to talk with them or teach. It was not as open as the beginning, but still not as cold and formal as later.

He chose Nimwen due to many reasons. Firstly, he really believed such visit maybe extremely beneficial for her. Secondly she was a Noldor, the same Kindred as fiery Fëanor speaking openly against Valar. Old Vanyar was experienced and wise, some people refer to his as clairvoyant, and managed to see possible results of uprising. Every opportunity is great to show that elves in fact are living in harmony with each other and other inhabitants of Aman, regardless very bad relations of Ingwë and Fëanor. Shiny eyes of young elleth made him sure he made a right choice.

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 **Author's note:** the idea of the Disciples of Valar is my own, however I personally believe such elves might be treated with a great respect among their kindred in Valinor. Secondly, as you may notice I really dislike Ingwë. He was one of those characters I couldn't stand: "sitting at the feet of Manwë" for the whole eternity? Really, is it so great and honourable to be an pouffe (By the way Manwë, you were described as _the good one_. Using poor elf as a pouffe is not a good action!)? I will find a perfect place for him in the palace.

If anyone of you my Readers can read Polish I published Polish version as well.


	2. Meetings and princes

Many thanks for all the readers.

 **Cyrus559:** Thank you, I have several pages in Word alread written, but need time to translate it.

 **Disclaimer:** The wonderful world of Arda do not belong to me. The picture in a profile is a screen shot of Morgan from the Merlin TV series. All names of elves come from the : arwen undomiel website and catalog of the elvish names.

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Young elleth got no clue about customs and behavior of Valar. She has seen them several times during most important Festival, but back them they were siting and looking down at elves. They barely spoke a word to chosen elves both scholars and nobles. No one has really guessed what really impressed the Powers, as they seemed to notice artists, craftsmen and others. Nimwen obviously looked at they, feeling overawed by the nobility of men and women in crowns made by flowers. She had failed to guess how Valar looked and behaved in own household, as in palace at the Taninquentil she noticed nothing previously expected.

She was somehow transported to the marvelous garden. She left Vanyar place with her teacher Calanon and others, slowly progressing towards snowy forest. Strangely, Calanon ordered them not to bring coats. Nimwen had considered the elegant, dark gown as definitely not appropriate to wander around the woods covered in a white powder, but listened to the old Vanyar suggestions. "I hope we are not going to be frozen to death" – she thought. Concentrated on the forest, she barely noticed mysterious power, kind of a wind to transport them far, far away village of the Vanyar.

The place resembled neither households by Noldor nor even Vanyar. Weird as is sounds, the light of the Two Trees seemed to came from below not above. Wind was blowing from all possible directions at once, but its touch was surprisingly pleasant. Smelt of flower appeared out of nowhere and made her smile. She looked around to notice where those flowers grown, but noticed nothing but yard of some exotic palace. The whole architecture seemed mysterious and somewhat strange, when compare to those made by elves.

Strange, dark-haired maiden came out of nowhere. In the eye of Nimwen, she was one of the most beautiful and noble creatures in her dark, gauzy gown. No elleth looked resembled her, at least Maia may be so powerful and dignified. Young Noldo seemed completely enchanted and amazed by the meeting, desperately trying to guess who dark-haired maiden can be. It was only the beginning.

'Welcome to the Ilmarin' – mysterious Maia said in the calm, deep voice – 'please, follow me to the garden. You are expected'

She said few words and exchanged gestures with Calanon. Nimwen almost immediately realized that he must have been invited to the palace several times. He glanced and looked carefully at his students and obediently followed the Maia, who elf has known for sure. Maiden smiled and ordered them to turn right.

They were walking fast. Nimwen noticed light gallery decorated with fresco paintings. At the ceiling mysterious, definitely eons old landscapes were painted. They bypassed chambers of unknown role and finally arrived in the surprisingly cozy, green terrace or garden. Even the sky, enlighten by mysterious lights, differed from those down the Taninquentil peak. Nimwen noticed no other hills or anything but the sky and clouds.

The beautiful garden, resembled those by Vanyar: flowers formed flowerbed, planted around the small pond. The atmosphere was so calm and dream-like to some extent, that young elleth took a deep breath. High tree of effused branches provided its own, delicate light. It looked so unexpected to the inexperienced eyes of Nimwen, that she almost asked a question. Nevertheless, she noticed another surprise.

The average branch was standing below the tree. Two strangers were sitting and chatting, barely aware of the presence of guests. According to Nimwen, they were pair of the most beautiful elves. She noticed a man with the light, golden hair who hugged his female companion. Strange lady of hair as dark as night sky, was paying attention to her companion and smiling happily after whatever she has just heard. Nimwen looked at them in the silent admiration, not able to move or react.

The pair seemed somehow familiar, but Nimwen got no idea where or when she has seen them last time. All of their mutual gestures, looks and silent whispers suggested nothing but a deep love between those two. Elleth took a deep sigh, as almost every time she noticed a couple in love. She tried to ask who they are, but Calanon ordered her to move after the Maia, not to stare. Their guide had asked them to stop and then made few more steps towards the mysterious pair.

In the meantime, Nimwen looked at the woman sitting under a tree. She definitely noticed the most beautiful lady ever seen. Lady was wearing the narrow, fancifully decorated tiara, contrasting the blackness of the hair. Everything in her make her a great and powerful Queen, even if her gown seemed modest, when compared to richly decorated dresses by elvish princesses and nobles. The remarkable similarity between Lady and Maia suddenly caught the attention of Nimwen. They looked as if they were sisters of different ages, or maybe even mother and daughter. Pair eventually noticed the presence of the elves and gave them a sign to come closer.

'Calanon' – Lady's voice was soft and melodious - 'Welcome back to our home. It is a pleasure to see your young companions'.

'Yes my Lady' - answered Calanon, poking a frozen Nimwen, who was standing with a rather silly expression – 'I selected my most promising and hardworking mentees. I must admit, I barely managed to tore them from the books, however but the opportunity to see your household was a temptation impossible to resist' - he explained.

'Please, come closer' – she answered and smiled warmly – 'Mentees and charges to Calanon, are welcome as well obviously'.

Nimwen needed time to guess who Calanon was talking to. She has seen them many times during the most important Festivals. Back them, both of them looked so different siting on the high table, in their flower crowns. She quickly covered her mouth in astonishment. How could she fail to recognize them? Obviously, now they seem different but still full of power and grandeur, even if less distant and haughty. The rating aura of overwhelming power surrounded them, and poor Nimwen barely prevent herself falling on her knees. She had remembered the words by Calanon, but it was a job which to brought her back to the reality. Young elleth finally realized who is Calanon talking to. Never ever in her life, has Nimwen imagined that the King and the Queen of Valar may resemble cordial and polite pair. In contrary, she rather though about cold and lofty Powers sitting on a magnificent throne. No, imagination fought picture rather large and lofty form on thrones.

Calanon seemed neither frightened nor stunned. After a brief moment, she realized that he must had been invited to the palace several times before. The way he had talked with the Lord and Lady, completely surprised Nimwen. She had the impression as if he were talking rather to the family elders, but not terrifying King and Queen. Young elleth faced another surprise.

'Let me introduce Nimwen, the daughter of my very old friend'- Calanon said pointing at her – 'She is among my most hardworking mentees. As soon as I told had her about the Library, she started to beg me to bring her'.

'Are you interested in the books and scrolls from distant lands, young Noldo? Do you seek a knowledge about those of your kin, who remained in the Middle-earth *? - the melodious voice of the Valie was calm and cordial, but Nimwen quickly noticed it was impossible to guess emotions behind.

'Yes, Lady' – she answered immediately, trying to keep in mind stories about the palace by Calanon – 'I have heard several tales of the Middle-earth by older members of my kin. It was then. when I started to wonder if it is very different from Valinor. I am curious why some elves decided to stay and what kind of life they live. Last, but not least, it is a mystery what was the world before first of elves woke up'.

'You are asking a lot of questions young one' - answered the Queen – 'you resemble me of a child curious of the mysterious world beyond. Such desire for knowledge is a trait of any creature able to speak and think. What are you planning to do with acquired knowledge?

'It is a difficult, thus important question, Lady' - answered Nimwen biting her lip – 'As for now, I would like to learn more about the world and its inhabitants. At the beginning simply due to the pleasure of learning. I believe nevertheless, one day I may become a teacher myself. I have not decided yet'.

'Investigation and learning may a purpose itself' - the reply was laconic.

Nimwen could swear that she was carefully watched. She experienced not rudeness, but felt that each of responses were carefully listened and then evaluated. "Surely, I am not the only one begging for the access to the Library. It is obviously guests need to be cautiously selected". She appreciated the fact, that whole discussion was polite and inspiring. Valar turned out to be a marvelous host, listening with interests to guest's words and not interrupting. Nimwen almost immediately realized where the hospitality of Vanyar came from. Only Ingwë learned nothing, as his pride and pompously behavior of the High King was almost a legend among the elves. Fëanor for example many times mocking Ingwë. To make matters worse, his son Maglor wrote short and cutting poems. No one has ever accused the Fire Spirit** of not working hard or lacking of talent. Ingwë however considered working as the blacksmith as "having fun in the forge," and call such behavior as "plebeian". Therefore, probably in response to harsh words by the High King, Fëanor and Maglor performed high-level and cutting art parodying the High King at the main square Tirion. Nimwen perfectly remember that day, standing in the palace Ingwë dwelt.

The whole meeting proceeded in a polite, much less rigid than expected, atmosphere. Nimwen managed to control her shyness and even actively participate in the discussion. Elleth was talkative in nature, thus eagerly described her plans and answered plans. 'Few Noldor is showing such a deep interest in poetry and spiritual arts' - these words were the only comment to her presence among the Vanyar. Indeed, her people in general preferred action to poetry.

'We will consider your request young Nimwen' – she heard as 'good bye'. Nevertheless, she doubted if she would be ever allowed to visit the library, where books from distant lands were collected.

xxxxxx

The answer came soon afterwards. Elleth had cried out with a shock and sat reading the words of permission. For someone so deep in love in art and science, it was nothing but a promise to make dreams come true, the great feast of the spirit. It resembled situation when child is left alone in a candy stall. She did not consider her answers as convincing, but solely tried to explain frankly her interests and motives, but not trying to impress Valar. She answered all questions as deeply and sincere as possible.

'Congratulations my dear' - Calanon was definitely pleased – 'it is tricky to get permission to visit the Library. The request need to be really be well motivated' - he explained.

' It is then a miracle, that my request was approved'

'No, it is not like that' – interrupted the elf – 'King and Queen may seem distant, but are righteous and benevolent. They consider Noldor as high tempered, but this is only a trait in their opinion'

'But I spoke without much sense!'

'Nevertheless, you were honest and convicted, this only matters not orated robes. So many invited for the audience simply tend to forget! We tend to loose ability to discuss, which worries me deeply'

' The are no shadows no evil here in Aman!' - Nimwen protested.

'Don't be naïve' - Calanon waved – 'shadows are lurking in everyone's heart, just as the light is. Each of us need to choose its side. Too much love for honors and pride one day will lead us to misery. To make matters worse, it is going to mar our relations with Powers. We, elves are starting to forget that we are not the rulers of Aman.'

'You know Valar really well' - she noticed – 'and ..'

'Only a little and as much as they introduced themselves to me' - he explained – 'no, I have never belonged to the group of Disciples if you ask me. I am not a kind of palace-elf. Do not take me wrong, the Ilmarin is marvelous place, but I prefer to meet other elves, especially elfings on a daily basis. Well, don't look at me like this! Dress your best gown and seek the most fascinated books in the Library'.

Nimwen did not need to be told twice. For a time being, she has been trying to learn more about the period before the awakening of the Elves. She had no idea if anyone has ever made any notes of such old ages, neither if there had been any kind of alphabet known already. The Library was the only possible place to seek for answers, even though task would not be trivial. On the other hand, nothing precious comes easy. Nimwen has never chosen the easiest paths.

The task turned out to be much harder than she initially suspected. She was taken to the spacious, amazing chamber. The very high shelves seemed to be endless. Nimwen noticed no ceiling but rather a sky, much darker than the sky seen in households of Vanyar. Under the sky, or whatever was above the marble floor, elleth noticed sheets of papers, scrolls and books falling down to the selected place on shelves. She opened her mouth clearly amazed and charmed by this extraordinary place.

Elleth almost jumped, when heard footsteps. She noticed the present of a brown-haired man, dressed in a long robe. He looked at Nimwen without any emotions and asked if any help was required. It was part of his duties as the Library keeper.

'Your request is unusual' – answered the man – 'Only a small group of elves has ever asked about such old records. We have the scrolls, but keep in mind, everything is not written in the language of Elves, but in the Valarin'

'Are there any translations available?'

'Only limited, as only words have been translated to Quenya. It is a difficult task to work with a foreign text without knowledge of the grammar of the language. I will deliver necessary materials, unfortunately only a few elves were keen to learn'

She quickly got the keeper's point. Indeed, only a few elves have ever tried to learn Valarin. Even cursory look as the text provided explanations. Words were very long with a fairly exotic accents. Nimwen doubted is she would be ever able to tell those words loudly without twisting her tongue. Elleth realized reading about ancient times would require a lot of hard work, of course only if she would be permitted to visit the Library long enough.

She found her place near one of the round tables. On the one side she put the original text in Valarin, whereas on other familiar notes in Quenya.'I need to discuss the issue with the linguist' – she thought feeling tired of only thinking about the degree of the task's difficulty. She was not discouraged in any way. 'If I manage to translate this text to Quenya, I will make it more accessible for other". Nimwen dreamed about being a scholar, whereas every scholar wants writings to be used.

She neither noticed how the time passed by the changing time of day, nor the mysterious figures watching her while reading. Both parents and Calanon used to joke, she could have been taken outside, while reading and took not notice. It was not a surprise, she failed to realized remarkably nimble persons. The world really ceased to exist, while she was reading. Figures standing in a distance said nothing, but looked at her with caution. They stood in a distance, not because they tried to hide anything, wanted only to watch without distraction.

Nimwen hardly believed her luck seeing information about the possibility of re-enter the Library in order to further work on the translation. 'Few elves have ever showed interest in elder days. Even less ever tried to learn our speech. If you are not discouraged by the lack of translation Nimwen of Noldor, feel free to continue its demanding work'. She jumped with joy very anxious to read a little more about the mysterious island known as Almaren as well as the days prior the Awakening of the Elves. Calanon congratulated her and asked to show him his notes later. "I have a little knowledge in languages, but I can make words and sentences nice. Let us make your translation

'Do you need a water or wine?' – a mysterious, female voice almost came from nowhere.

Nimwen was working hard on a difficult sentence. There were barely a few written rules of the Valarin. Translations into Sindarin or Quenya were even skimpier. All of this made her work difficult. Nimwen turned toward the source of the voice. To the amazement, she noticed Maia met in the very first visit was standing nearby.

'No, thank you' - said Nimwen – 'I am sorry, but I cannot remember your name Lady, my memory is poor when it comes to names' .

'I am Ilmarë' – Maia answered – 'don't be so nervous, I am not upset' - she assured – ' You are working on a ambitious translation' - she glanced at the book.

' You can speak Valarin, can't you?' - asked Nimwen.

'I speak Valarin, but teaching is not among my duties' - she explained – 'I am not patient enough I guess. But you Nimwen, you managed to impress my Wardens, by your persistence and hard work. Long years have passed, since they authorized any elf with such wide access to the Library. I want to congratulate you'.

'Thank you very much for your kindness. As for this work, I assume it is a part of the trial?' - she pointed at the book – ' I remember Calanon had told us to rewrite sentences and perform various tasks, before he became our teacher. He later explained, that he needed to be sure, we have the patience and perseverance. Let me guess, the previous elf made bad use of the knowledge?'

'Yes' - Ilmarë nodded - 'knowledge by itself is neither good or bad. It is eventual usage that defines it. You know well that the Herbology for example allows you to create both cure and poison. Our previous guest, Finwë unfortunately came with his oldest son. Fëanor was patient and dedicated to his work, but also very proud. Therefore, we need to be cautious'.

'I see'- answered Nimwen – 'my teacher Calanon offered me help with writing and style'.

'I am sure he will be a great help' - Ilmarë assured her- 'He used to visit us once, but he has never became a Disciple. I believe to become a teacher himself'.

Nimwen opened her mouth in disbelief. Being selected as the Disciple by one of the Valar was considered a great honor and distinction. Such person, and the closest family, almost immediately received high status in the community, lower only than the royal family. Mahtan, creating his works following suggestions by Aulë himself, enjoyed high esteem not only by Noldor, but also other elves. Ingwë offended him deeply by calling him "the commoner". Fëanor went furious when hear such about his father in law: Ingwë behaved badly towards him and Nerdanel. Finwë made a prickly comment, that the memory of the High King was even shorter then hair of his youngest grandson, as he became a High King only due to his temporal status of the Disciple and perhaps kind of a friend to Manwë, before the bitter argument that ended their relation. 'We shall praise the patience of the Elder King, who still tolerate those individual in his household. Moreover, there are no guard dogs outside his palace'- Finwë used to say. He never forgave former friend bitter words about his firstborn. Poor Indis had a thankless task to stand between her husband and uncle, who while being together in the same room seemed to jump at each other eyes with claws.

Rumors obviously reached Nimwen's ears, as Fëanor openly criticize those disliked. His stepmother's relative occupied a prominent position on the list. Ingwë obviously answered in the similar manner, by sending cutting messengers. As usual, this type of correspondence soon became a became common knowledge.

xxxxxx

Nimwen spent the consecutive weeks working with the text. Interestingly, in those better times, the words "may you in a time of change" was not curse. There was no danger, nothing to be afraid of. Only a few realized, that Melkor was to leave his prison. He spent centuries imprisoned in the Halls of Manos for his crimes. Elves too easily forgotten shadows from Utummo. Name of Melkor caused no fear then, not among elves of the Blessing Realm. No one really realized how dark and cold heart of powerful Vala become and how much he hated everyone.

Elleth put a little attention to the current events, being much more interested in ancient texts. Even though she considered they ways of selecting prospective Disciples by preaching to them to work on tedious translation as bizarre and a bit quirky she kept her opinions to herself. It is rude to criticize someone else's habits in this person household.

Suddenly she realized that the stranger entered the Library. She almost squeaked when noticed Maglor one of the sons of Fëanor. Back then, Finwë got a friendly and proper relationships with anyone, except for Ingwë. High King of Noldor somehow acquired the admission to the Library for his grandson. Finwë wanted his gentle and musically talented grandson to become one of the Disciples.

'Maglor is a wise and sensitive elf' - argued Finwë with a confident voice – 'He will never misuse the knowledge acquired. What the dreams most about is to seek for the inspiration for his songs'.

'I got your point'- Varda answered cordially- 'We have always supported poets and those interested in the spiritual matters. We are looking forward to hear his new songs'

'Thank you the most beautiful among beauties'- answered the elf – 'I am sure, that my grandson will appreciate your kindness'.

Nimwen looked carefully at the dark-haired elf, but it was his robes rustling, that woke her up. She was biting her pen form frustration, while cursing the deficit of helpful dictionaries or texts by Rúmil. Even if the great linguist and scholar has tried to learn Valarin, he left nothing useful. The presence of handsome, tall elf made her forget the frustration. Mature tall, handsome elf, whose view had to forget for a moment of frustration.

The stranger seemed to be much more lost than her. She welcomed him with a smile and he replied with the same. Nimwen reacted intuitively, as a talkative person always keen to chat. Moreover, it was unusual for Noldor to wander so far away Tirion.

'Who are you young elleth?' - he asked.

'I am Nimwen, you caught me while working on translation' – she pointed books – 'Who are you noble elf?'

'I am Maglor son of Fëanor' - he explained - 'This place is amazing; I could write a poem about the power of knowledge one day. It is fascinating to see all the books have ever written since the beginning of the world! – his eyes flashed.

'If I can offer you a word of advice Maglor, maybe Vanyar can help you in your poetry? They are most skilled in the poetry among all elves'

\- I was with them, but they are fairly locked besides not like my family - he explained.

'I have spoken to them, but their society is closed. To make matters worse my family has a bad relation with them'- Maglor explained.

Nimwen nodded quickly, while recalling almost hostile relations between Fëanor and his stepmother. Rumors were spreading around whole Tirion. They kept talking several minutes. Elleth told him a lot about her teachings and living among Vanyar. She obviously mentioned building snow castles and overall fun.

She guessed that reasons for Maglor to spent his time in the palace were similar to hers. Nimwen guessed he probably wanted to become a Disciple himself. After years of living among Vanyar she developed the taste and knowledge to evaluate arts. Maglor shared his newest piece of poetry with her and was definitely very proud of his work. In the meantime, he also trembled, while waiting for the reaction of the recipient. Elf possessed a great talent for poetry and songs and might become the greatest singer of Noldor once. She wished him best, as she had no reason not to did so.

xxxxx

'I was not an appropriate candidate for a Disciple' - explained Calanon – 'Ilmarë is a talkative even as for Maia, or maybe simply acts as a messenger'.

'Why do you considered yourself as not appropriate? You are hardworking and wise!'

'Thank you my Nimwen. I am happy you perceive me in that way. Moreover, I would like to be considered as friendly and open-minded. Does it make me an ideal candidate for the Disciple? To some extend yes, but you must know that Valar, at least most of them, treat Disciples is similar way as elder members of the family consider young ones or the way we consider children. Do you understand?' - he asked and continued, when noticed her puzzled look – 'I have never been looking for a teacher, who would also have treated me like a child. I guess, I have always wanted to be such a figure for others.'

'You are such and will always be '- she assured – 'In my opinion, it is a privilege and great happiness to have both mentor and warden'.

'I have guessed your attitude some time ago' - he nodded – 'It makes you someone with all the traits Valar appreciate: diligence, curiosity about the world, but also combined with the delicacy and strong need for guidance. Believe me, you would not be granted such a wide access to the Library, unless considered as the prospective Disciple'

Nimwen has always considered Calanon as an enigma. From time to time, he has spoken really surprising words or has performed such gestures. He has rarely spoken about his past, definitely not happy with any attempt to start discussion. He valued his privacy very high, talking reluctantly about past evens. Even Nimwen, one of his closest, knew a little.

Other Vanyar told her, Calanon was among the firsts to arrive in Aman. Perhaps he was among first elves to awoken at shoes of the lake Cuiviénen. Those pairs used to be treated as elders, natural leaders for both families and entire groups. This tradition continued for a short time after arriving in Aman.

It was Ingwë, chosen as the Disciple by Manwë himself, who efficiently deprived elders from its power as the High King of the Elves. "We are not mindless children any more, but the chosen nation. As such, we must have a mature leadership" - he used to say. He successfully convinced others to selected him as a leader. The position of the Elder King Disciple was among strongest arguments. Nimwen noticed sorrow in the voice of Calanon and suspected he must have been somehow involved. Elleth got enough tact not to ask nosy questions. Maybe she was young, according to the standards of elves, but reasonable!

'It is impossible for me...' – Nimwen was smiling, even if her words were skeptical.

'Do not tease me. You also need to know Valar by their nature are caring and this usually lead to overprotective behavior in more closed relationship as for friendship tor example. Keep in mind, that elves are not the only ones capable to feel. Keep in mind'- the voice sounded like a warning – 'even with their wisdom and nobility, they tend to offer a limited number of second chances. If they ever considered as a treason, forgiveness is tough. The case of Ingwë demonstrates well, how fierce their anger may be. Once he became very proud and start to consider himself as someone nobler than other Elves, he was quickly turned from Disciple into troublesome tenant. Now, he is desperately trying to catch attention of his former Mentor. How little he understands the beings, in whose households he dwells!'.

'You know them very well'.

'As I mentioned, I know only as deep as they had introduced themselves. Anyway, Valar have never attempted to hide their intentions or expectations. They treat prospective Disciple in the same manner and they are not going to be angry if elf chooses not to become one. The detailed explanation of our motives is much better, than attempts to use their teachings and friendship to gain honors as Ingwë did. The Star Queen has asked me once, if I would like to become her Disciple. I really admired her wisdom and kindness, but have never looking for a warden. I guess I was too old then, but you are younger'.

Not much more has been said, but she got a point. Calanon definitely was trying rather to become a teacher himself but not a disciple. Nimwen knew, that she was granted regular invitations to the palace, which proved how well relations he maintained. As for her, she would be extremely happy to be asked such question. She developed a very warm relationship with Calanon, as he was looking for the mentor and warden, while he was willing to become one. Despite whole the discussion, she wasn't sure if King or Queen could even choose her as the Disciple among all elves wishing to become one. she did not think she would, all other elves wishing to become students of the, was chosen. Nimwen, possessing a huge portion of self-criticism, considered herself as too average.

* * *

* As we know Doriath existed in the Years of Trees, moreover Avari elves were living their lives there. I assumed they must have had some kind of written communication.


	3. The begnining of the nightmare

Many thanks for everyone who read and comment. **Palsjolteon** many thanks for adding my story for favourites!

 **Danbolz:** Many thanks for your kind words. I have my own interpretation of Finwe and Ingwe, which I believe are different. As you can guess they are not among my favourites. As for other characters, I have always considered true lady and true gentleman as kind and cordial beings, able to talk in appropriate way to both simple worker and professor from the University. For me dignity and respect is something beyond words as "Your Majesty", something more subtle. Real people I respect most do not need to emphasize their positions by such gestures and greet everyone.

 **Warnings:** fluff and possible mature scenes.

Let's meet other important characters.

* * *

At the beginning, Nimwen consider words by Calanon as excessively optimistic. Elleth got no problem with self-esteem, however lack of manual talents has made the craftsman's daughter self-critical. On the other hand, she has never been too modest and realized hard and systematic work is highly respect but really doubted if such traits are enough to be even considered as the prospective Disciple by Valar. Whatever criteria they applied to select most interesting elves, she would never be among chosen ones.

She worked hard on the text. Even in the Library of Ilmarin it was really difficult and she decided to continue mostly thanks for the praise by Calanon. The process of learning Valarin resembled running up a high hill in the windy day to make matters worse. Not only words were longer than in Sindarin but to make matter worse grammar rules seemed ambiguous and blur. Only few pieces of text by other scholars helped in any ways.

" _Valarin originated in a times before any alphabet had been developed._ _Before the Awakening of Elves, no writings seemed necessary, as Ainur never forgets. They decided to develop the speech to communicate with us, as the communication of minds were natural for them as usage of months is obvious for us. Therefore, Valarin resembles picture made by unskilled hand, the piece of art done when artists covered his eyes. Usage of the forge to work with metal is one, but paintings is the different story_ ".

Nimwen had concentrated so hard on work, that she failed to notice the steps behind. It had nothing to do with the dexterity of the person: even the pack of horses wouldn't be enough to catch her attention. Besides there was no point to be extremely cautious in a such place, where nothing than a growling stomach might happened. She loved tasty food, but the Library was more important than a dinner!

Her mother would scream if she noticed the way young elleth was sitting on a chair. "You will land on a floor if don't stop swinging" – mother used to say. As most elfings Nimwen paid little attention. That day she started swinging in frustration after long, fruitless hours of working on text. It almost

'My intention was to talk not to scare you Nimwen'- she heard a gentle voice.

'I know'- elleth answered – 'I planned to get some fresh air, but one sentence caught my attention. I am aware how weird it sounds, but I am speaking the truth Lord'- she explained.

'Why did you choose to study such a distant history?'- the voice seemed surprised but not only surprised.

'Lord, it is only doable here' – she explained – 'Any information about life of my people before we arrived in Aman is hardly available elsewhere. I believe'- Nimwen continued, feeling more confident on the ground of discussion- 'I believe something scared my ancestors so much, that they decided to leave homes and travel to a strange land. I wanted to know the reason, but only few are talking'.

'Perhaps some issues are hidden not without the reason. Who knowns, maybe the security is hidden behind all those secrets?'.

'Bad things do not disappear when covered. For example, if drops of red wine spilled on a light carpet, the armchair can be used to cover the damage. Damage is still there even if hidden. It won't disappear when left alone. Cleaning is only more difficult as the result, I tried it once, my Lord'.

'It is possible, but on the other hands open wounds are healing slowly and painfully'.

'Yes Lord, but on the other hand, if I catch splinter in a finger it must be fully removed' – she explained – 'Besides, the knowledge of the past mistakes can be used to avoid future ones'.

'It is not as simple'.

She replied almost immediately, as years spent with the Vanyar provided her with the necessary training in the art of discussion and improvisation. Suddenly it became clear who made inspired them with passion towards long conversations about abstract topics. The way they behave, chose words and even spend free time were inspired by King and Queen. Some of the Noldor, mostly those who admired Fëanor, made jokes about Vanyarian culture as the part of never-ending conflict between Fëanor and Indis. Vanyar loved meditations and discussion as much as Noldor were passionate about working in forges.

As Calanon explained, her nature helped in the improvisation. Vanyar on the other hand were more quiet and calm, which is not helpful in the discussion. Nimwen valued their inner pierce and envied them sometimes: they were free from the Noldorian desires for the constant improvement or everlasting nostalgia of Teleri.

Once she had faced her first fear, she started to enjoy the conversation. Nimwen gripped the edge if the table with a force, in order to stop her sudden urge to land on her knees. Calanon advised to avoid such behavior, whereas she decided to listen.

'As for the perspective matter, please follow me child. I want you to see something'.

She nodded in agreement, dared not to protest. Moreover, Nimwen desired to see and read as many as possible, while she is still in a place only few elves were invited to. Her hand was caught in a grip strong enough to make her walk, but delicate enough to be painless.

There was no time to ask where they proceed. She looked at tapestries and frescoes different than those even seen in Tirion. The terrace with the panoramic view turned out to be the final destination. She noticed the city of Valmar below and when concentrated saw even the distant Tirion. She cried with enthusiasm barely aware where she was standing.

'It is charming to see the enthusiasm of the Young ones'- answer seemed a little weird.

xxxxxxx

At that time, Nimwen considered Maglor as interesting and kind elf. He seemed charming in a way. They shared passion towards poetry and spiritual teachings, which made them different that other Noldor. None of young really liked working in a forges, leaving such works for craftsmen. Maglor seemed gentle, but on the other hand affected by his dominant father. Nimwen keep wondering how many of his opinions and beliefs were chosen by him and how by Fëanor, most brilliant and charismatic elf of that time and maybe most brilliant ever.

Fëanor was granted with the cognomen the Spirit of Fire not without the reason. His ambition, diligence and spiritual power burning. Most of elves were ashamed and intimidated by Fëanor's presence, but not Nerdanel. Strong mind of the daughter of Mahtan made her almost immune against influences by others: every time they exchanged opinions it reminded of the elements storm. Back then, they lived in a happy marriage and seven sons made the best prof. Unfortunately, Fëanor started working on his best work, which made his inner fire to burn even more.

Nerdanel noticed suspicious silence by her husband. He has always worked often in a forges in the company of a person she has been warned against since childhood. Aulë clearly despised Melkor and told everyone in his household to stand back " _The Elder King is merciful; I am careful_ ". Nerdanel listened to both father and his Mentor, which lead to several arguments with Fëanor. His temper was getting fiercer and fiercer, due to company of the Dark Vala as Nerdanel suspected. To make matters worse, he became even more suspicious sons of Indis. He has never loved them, but not his lack of love keeps changing into paranoia.

'Don't you dare to tell me what to do and what not to. Son of Finwë hears no orders !' - he shouted in a fierce answer, when she advised to beware of Melkor .

'I am your wife and wife duty is to express concerns'- she said coldly – 'I don't trust him'.

'Don't repeat words by Aulë as if you were a stupid child. You are wise and talented Nerdanel, able to see the wider perspective. Why are you so skeptical, Melkor is a Vala after all'

'There is darkness and coldness in him'- she explained.

'His fellow Valar clearly disliked whose who dare to think independently. This is why they forced us to live here and threat as kids. The question is, for whom they want to keep the Middle-Earth? We, elves, are the chosen ones to rule'.

'In case you have forgotten, shadows of Utummo used to be a serious threat. Your father used to remind us often about the past' – she interrupted.

'Shadows threat us no longer'- Fëanor explained softly – 'We are helpless elfings no longer. We are grown up now and learn how to defend ourselves and shape our destiny, without any interruptions by Valar. Aman is getting too small for me, especially if Valar ruined my family'.

Nerdanel looked at her husband clearly worried. His words sounded as the beginning of the rebellion. She refused even to consider leaving Aman and decided to talk. Elleth explained that many elves are now living in a peace and bliss without any will to come back to the Middle Earth. Valar have been always kind and helpful, even chose Disciples to teach elves about crafting, gardening and healing. Why to stand against them?

When she had reminded Fëanor what elves actually owed to Powers, he got angry. All her talk was a huge mistake, as someone, definitely Melkor, persuaded her husband that Valar enslaved elves. No one else in their closest surroundings has ever speak in such manner! It was Fëanor who started to question the social and political system of the Blessing Realm, but never before came up with the specific demands. His eyes were burning, which scared her. Nerdanel knew she need to act, but speaking to her father or Aulë would lead to the disaster. She decided to take another way, too confident in her influence as wife.

In the evening, Fëanor, apparently he regretted his harsh words. When Nerdanel left bathroom, dressed in dark red nightgown, he already waited for her. Husband scattered rose petals on floor and bed itself, making his intentions obvious. She gave him a warm smile and was kissed passionately as the response. He put his whole desire in those kiss, while struggling the fabric of nightgown. Nerdanel felt his great need, but Fëanor did nothing but kissing and gently touching her back.

He carried elleth to their bed, kissing and showing so much passion and interest, that she forgot whole conversation in the forge earlier that day. Fëanor has been always driven by inner fire and those evening he turned interest towards wife. Nerdanel almost lost her sense, feeling his mounts on her body. 'You are so beautiful and wise my previous Nerdanel, why do you keep repeating words by Valar? You should think independent! - he stated, doing wonderful and indecent usage of his left hand's fingers. Nerdanel definitely failed to hear his words.

Next day, the coupe ate breakfast in a wonderful atmosphere. Nerdanel was given the illusion of peace, stronger as Fëanor did nothing suspicious during following days. Even though she noticed that husband was spending more time in forges on his own, Fëanor persuaded her not to worry. Nerdanel knew he loved to work alone and as the individualist needed to be left on his own from time to time. But then, he reacted nervously and even in the aggressive way when Mahtan asked him about his work. Disciple of Aulë was watching son-in-law with growing concern, especially that Fëanor refuse to share his plans with anyone.

xxxxxxx

Maglor considered days spend in Ilmarin as happy, maybe even the best in his life if considered what happened next. Vanyar treated him with suspicion, due to long-term conflict between his father, Fëanor and Indis. Their animosity was growing over the years and prince of Noldor did nothing to stop arguments. He was devastated by death of Miriel and sadness turned out into anger when Finwë married for the second time. During years the repulsion towards Indis became stronger. To make matters worse, Fëanor never forgot that Valar allowed Finwë to remarry and accused them of destruction of his childhood. 'I lived a great life with my father, but then _she_ came. She was given his attention and even gave birth to kids. Valar allowed this to happen'.

Nimwen heard several gossips about relations between oldest son of Finwë and his new siblings and stepmother. Fëanor kept no secrets and made his disapproval public. Many concerned anger for the High King of Noldor for taking his eldest site all the time. Maglor on the other hand, seemed gentler and more self-controlled.

One day she convinced Maglor to visit her Vanyarian friends. Nimwen felt suspicious glances, but Vanyar considered her as one of them. Their tradition required to treat even unwelcomed guest in a civil way. She counted on no more. Fortunately, Maglor failed to notice cold greeting. Moreover, Nimwen convinced Maglor to read them a piece of his poetry, as Vanyar valued art more than anything.

'He is very talented' – Calanon said - 'but simultaneously he is covered by the shadow of his father. Miriel had died after hard labor, which made Finwë to pour all his love to the son, and this love is blind as he refuses to see anything except his son. Fëanor on the other hand, wanted to bind everyone to his will, including his sons. I am very afraid of the future to come'.

Later, Nimwen considered Calanon not only as the great observer, but almost a clairvoyant. Noble Vanyar belonged to the greatest opponents of Fëanor and perceived his actions as not understandable. For him the eldest son of Finwë as brazen in case of words and gestures and name no secret from it. Elf preferred to be over cautions to say not enough. He visited the Ilmarin palace to express concern. Even at the slopes of Taninquentil is was known that the Spirit of Fire is working on his own and let no one to ask questions. Rumors that the Fire Spirit is working on something alone and no one is permitted to himself came up here, because these behavior was unusual.

'You are very concern, which can be both wise but also be a result of yours reluctance towards Fëanor'- Varda seemed anxious.

'Lady, I made no secret from my lack of sympathy towards Fëanor. He is a genius but simultaneously very stubborn and unable to listen. This makes me worried'- he explained.

'We feel the same'.

Nimwen obviously had no idea about conversation, nor about coming changes in her life. Maybe this was the best possible option? Never has she forgotten that once she liked Maglor and even considered him as a kind of soulmate. They shared the same type of sensitivity, different than typical for most of Noldor. Nimwen failed to throw away the memory.

She showed Maglor the Vanyarian settlements and taught about their customs and art of conversation. Nimwen even let him to the house of Calanon. She spent years in that place and after longer talk, even found the courage to show Maglor her own attempts of poetry. Maglor expressed his opinion is a gentle, cordial manner without saying openly anything about her lack of talent. Finally, Nimwen went with him to the higher parts of Taninquentil, where they played in snow with a group of elves.

She was not in love with him, but enjoyed his company. Calanon was not pleases with her acquaintanceship with the son of Fëanor. Maglor appraised his father definitely too much. Nimwen understand concerns by her teacher, but did not agree to mistrust son because of his father mistakes. To be sincere, Maglor did nothing wrong, beyond great admiration of the genius in family.

She noticed Maglor's lack of patience when it came to work on the long texts. Elf was walking around the Library chatting or scraping something on rolls. Nimwen looked at him from time to time, nevertheless pain more attention to the translation. She decided to start working on the dictionary just in case. Besides, maybe a linguist would one day start learning Valarin? Few existing translations were really poor as most elves consider Valarin as unpleasant in sound when compare to Quenya.

xxxxxx

Nimwen lost the track of time completely. She could not say whether she spend days or months in the Library of the Ilmarin. Elleth decided to start additionally tasks only because of her hunger for knowledge and curiosity. One day, she might become a teacher learning elfings about most ancient history and distant languages. Vanyar would definitely show the interest, thus she started to prepare a plan in her head. Obviously she loved her home town Tirion, however felt much better in the Vanyarian houses at the Taninquentil.

Idhrenion, the son of a well-known poet named Elemmirë*, convinced her this is the right path. The fame of Elemmirë reached the whole Aman, not only Vanyarian settlements. Famous poet sent his only child to Calanon for teachings. Idhrenion keep visiting the Library to the Nimwen happiness. It was clear for her that skilled poet with a deep understanding of spiritual teachings would one day become a Disciple.

'I hope you are not going to stop working on translations. We elves too easily forgotten about our past, thus someone need to explain and remind about old writings. Only with the deep knowledge of the history, we may built the better future'- he explained.

'It is true' - she nodded – 'the knowledge and the experience are shaping the wisdom. Only wisdom let us to make best possible decisions'.

'Then why to stop such an important task? I am thrilled to read your translations'.

'I am not sure if I will be allowed to stay here long enough' - she sighed –'However, I will make the best possible usage of the time given to me'.

Not long after discussion with Idhrenion, she asked Calanon about elves once selected by Disciples by Valar. They made a small group of six. Mahtan, the blacksmith, was highly respected within Noldor, as parents explained. Before the times of Fëanor, he was regarded as the greatest craftsmen of their people. For Nimwen his works were almost a pure magic and she was not the only one with her opinions. Mahtan willingly shared his knowledge with young elves of Tirion, calling them the future of Noldor. "I was chosen as the Disciple and my task is to share the knowledge given to me" – he kept saying. Soon his openness and kindness made a huge contrast with the growing suspicion by his son in law, Fëanor.

Only few had any idea what Fëanor was really doing in forges and why walking around the Two Trees. In those days, many elves walked around the Trees. Their light was available to all inhabitants of Aman. It was even unthinkable to do anything violent towards sacred Trees. Sudden presence of Fëanor in the close neighborhood of Trees aroused interest, but not suspicion.

The Spirit of Fire seemed upset with the sudden attention. He observed elves with suspicion, which eventually lead to anger. "You possess a great talent and the greatness awakens envy" - Melkor used to say – "Your skills are better than skills by anyone. This is why they will try to disturb you". Fëanor felt nothing but great reluctance and mistrust towards the most powerful Vala. Unfortunately, he did not ignore his words. He was unlucky enough not to notice the poison slowly sipping to his mind. The sinister fruits of words by Melkor would grow soon.

* * *

* He is a canonical character and famous Vanyarian singer. Little is known about the elf, except for the fact he wrote a poem describing the lament and regret after the destruction of Two Trees of Valinor. It is unclear whether Elemmirë was a man or woman, thus I assumed he was a man. Obviously there was no mention about his/her family.


	4. The Silmarils

Soon after, Fëanor revealed what he had worked over the past months. He seemed proud as a father from his child achievements, even if child was born out of mind not body. Elf trembled while showing the Silmarills, the great Jewels. The way the material was carved, complicated designs and complicated facets made the view truly magnificent. What made his work truly unique, was the light of the Two Trees Valinor captured and stored in the form of precious gems. Fëanor was the first ever to try capture the light in the form of Jewels, as other were scared of serious injuries caused by burns. But the son of Finwë has always tried to learn and achieve more.

His six sons, except for the Maglor still dwelling on the Taninquentil, cried out with delight. Every single piece of their father works were wonderful and great with Silmarills as the most precious gems in the crown. In the very first moment Finwë remained silent, but then explained that no words can even express his admiration. Fëanor approached his father and hugged him, saying something similar to "I _can always count of you, the best parent ever_."

Jewels created by Fëanor received admiration from almost everyone. Even those less friendly towards prince of Noldor have never criticized his works. Silmarills were beautiful, perfect and free of any defects. "Indeed Fëanor is the greatest among all elves living now in Valinor, perhaps the greatest among all elves ever" – some of the courtiers used to say. Others, even if upset with the way he treated his stepmother, has always agreed that he was a great craftsman, even if expressing opinions in more balanced words.

Not surprisingly, such gestures by Finwë and his sons made the proud Fire Spirit even prouder. Even some among Valar truly admired the Silmarills, while Aulë himself praised the excellent craftsmanship and abilities of Fëanor. It didn't take long for the elf to consider his works as better than items made in the forges of Valar and expressed his opinions aloud.

Nerdanel had mixed feelings about her beloved and Silmarills. Obviously she admired all of works by husband. She looked at cuts and all details of Jewels and to her expertise they were perfect. When he started saying "No one will ever match me, neither among Noldor nor anyone else", elleth felt uncomfortable cold. She noticed the fire in the eyes of Fëanor and that fire made her heart trembling. Recently Nerdanel noticed something dark and disturbing, which required serious caution.

'You express very reticent opinions about my works' - he said reproachfully – ' My creations are making both elves and Valar excited and jealous. I remember how Melkor was looking at my Jewels and how Mentor of your father congratulated me. Aulë has never created anything comparable'

'But my dear'- Nerdanel seemed frightened – 'we, elves are working on our own goods, whereas Valar have their creation. There is no need to start the competition. Silmarills are the excellent masterpiece of our people, but it is not divine!'

'You are on their side'- he shouted- 'You have always been on their side as their pet! You have a duty to remain forever on my side, as I am your husband!'.

'Do not try to discipline me as if I were one of your servants. I have always helped you as I can do please keep this in mind'- she hissed- 'I am not the side of the common sense'

Fëanor said nothing, just slammed the door which made all elves terrified. Nerdanel remained calm and eventually irritated, even if her temper was milder than those by husband. She has experienced too many arguments recently as husband showed too many signs of dark mood and melancholy. Silmarills were too blame as even forging them made him so irritated.

When she was a little girl, she used to listen to discussions by adults, while sitting in the corner and playing. In those happier times voice was rarely decreased in the presence of children and Nerdanel, as the only girl in the neighborhood, drew heavy attention. Her father got his lessons by Aulë who, as other Valar, treated his Disciple in the paternal fashion. They used to eat dinners together, chatting and telling jokes. Such attitude encouraged young Nerdanel to do impossible: she used to climb on the Vala knees and to make it weirder Aulë seemed amused. He took elfing in his hands and start talking about all miraculous works by craftsman. She was listening to those stories with sparkling eyes.

No gift of the clairvoyance was needed to predict possible problems. When Fëanor started speaking loudly about his "divine" work it made his behaviors very suspicious. As he explained "everyone" was jealous. His creations were great indeed, but Nerdanel seemed worried about his certainty that no one would be ever equal to him.

'I created the masterpiece comparable of the works by Valar. What does it mean for me and for all Noldor? Should we be living here as children, while elves in the Middle Earth can govern thein kingdoms and develop the culture without asking anyone for permissions?'.

His words sounded attractive for not only his sons, but also other members of the family. Elves not related to Fëanor were also interested in the distant lands beyond sees and their inhabitants. Those living in a peace and bliss of Valinor were obviously happy about their life, however speeches by the son of the king aroused their curiosity and thirst for adventure. Why to be dependent on the will of Valar? Why not to decide on own fate without asking them? Elves got own kings, habits and Valar honored their customs but even Finwë got someone above. How about responding to no one?

Noldor listened to the prince, and many of them bowed their heads. If there is no threat from the shadows from the Cuiviénen, why not to return to the Middle-Earth? The land of Valar were beautiful and blissful, but elves can create and conquer own kingdoms. Why to remain subjects to others if they have enough talents and work hard. It was not the first time that Fëanor expressed such opinions, but the shine by Silmarills provided additional arguments. "Valar invited us, but also promised we are free to go in we will. I feel we accomplished everting here, while real changes and opportunities await far away'- he keep telling. No one ever though he could leave in the violent way.

Xxxxxx

Teleri and Vanyar quickly learned about masterpiece and words by Fëanor. Teleri remained calm and reserved, more interested in the fishing and their own business, than the political system of Valinor. They were happy under the rule of king Olwë and keep saying ' _Our kind is taking care of us, while Lord Ulmo and Oss_ _ë_ _are blessing our fishermen and pearl hunters. This is important, not who rules the midlands'_ \- they used to say while drinking favorite liquors.

The reaction of Vanyar, who has disliked Fëanor for long, reacted harsher. Any reason to criticize the son of Finwë was fair enough for them and express that Indis is their princess and they remember. Nevertheless, it was elves of light, Calanon especially, who noticed the risk of revolt in words of Fëanor.

'Light of the Two Trees belong to all inhabitants of Aman. No one can own it'- he started – 'It also exists in some form in the Middle-Earth, even if elves are living in the twilight there. To conclude, the Trees are source of life to every living being. It is a pride and even almost a blasphemy to claim their rays'.

'You are very right Master Calanon'- someone admitted- 'I have never heard of anyone else but the Star Queen to take their light into hands. I am curious what son of Finwë was thinking about? Who is the consider himself as?'

'I believe he started to think he is somehow equal to Valar'- Calanon said sarcastically.

'This is the unforgivable impertinence' – answered Vanyarian elves.

Nimwen was working on the translation and working efficiently for the very first time. She started making notes to be able to easily go back to her previous work. Elleth paid more attention to her language studies that problems of relations between Vanyar and Noldor. Works by Rúmil helped to work in more structured way, while the scientific content clearly inspired. Nimwen even send the thankful letter to the great linguist.

It was Calanon to persuade elleth to send the letter. If not Calanon standing close to her while writing, she finished the document. When ready, elf too the parchment from her hands and let the letter reach the addressee. Nimwen would probably leave the words for herself. She failed to understand why Rúmil had never created translation from Valarin to elvish speech.

'He planned'- Calanon explained- ' but first he stared working on the alphabet and developed grammatical rules of our speech. When he was done, Teleri came and we faced problems with communication and Rúmil considered those issues as more important than the dictionary of the language few ever showed interest'.

Nimwen considered such behavior as logical, while she chose most complicated task ever. Elleth was very satisfied and happy while using the Library, even if father suggested to found something useful. 'You are spending your life on reading books, as if books were the only interesting parts of our world. Why to work on the translation few will show interest? I can understand the history, but why the Valarin language?'. Jeweler noticed long time ago that his daughter had not even a trace of talent towards crafting and suggested teachings by Vanyar as more appropriate. Even though, he believed that Nimwen was spending too much time in the Library.

'She is passionate about her work; we should support our daughter'- mother argued.

'I am supportive, but we can't she find other interests? I will be pleased if she became the scholar one day. I only want Nimwen to be interested in more useful topics and I am sorry but fail to understand why to spend so much time with the old volumes. I prefer debates with Vanyar, while drinking wine as it helps her to meet new elves'.

'Oh my dear, maybe Nimwen wants to impress handsome young ner with her knowledge? Besides it is definitely beneficial to spend so much time in the Library of Ilmarin. Who knows, maybe she is even considered as the candidate for the Disciple?'

'This is impossible. Have you heard about last work by our prince? Why to seek any adventure and treasures in the Middle-Earth? We have everything we need here'.

Elleth knew all of her father arguments. He wished her best, but shared none of her interests and passions. Nevertheless, as every elf in Valinor, he understood the privilege of accessing the Library of Ilmarin. Jeweler understand the possible advantages of being the Disciple, but for the sake of his daughter mood, he explained his wife that they need to make her ready for the incoming disappointment.

Calanon informed not only his fellow elves about his fears, but also went to Ilmarin to express his opinions there. He decided to talk sincerely even if he might have heard his words were nothing but superstition and prejudice. The possibility that long talk could be the result, but still decided to speak on behalf of their closest kin.

'Queen will talk to you' – Ilmarë greeted him with a smile – 'What business bring you here?'

'I want to talk about Fëanor' – explained Calanon.

'I see'- Maia nodded her dark head – 'O lot of elves are talking about him. Ingwë for example stated every creature should look seek the greatness and happiness in the self-improvement. The competition is not necessary'.

Calanon nodded with satisfaction. He tried to ask Ilmarë for more, but she answered evasively, while looking at him in her usual, mysterious smile Elf was not discouraged but only curious. One of the terraces was selected as the meeting place. Even if Queen would not take into account his arguments, there are always fabulous views to watch. Looking at clouds from above was indeed an unforgettable experience.

He noticed a woman sitting on a high, comfortable-looking chair. Her sight was concentrated at some indefinite point over the horizon. Her long, black as the deepest night, was falling almost to the floor. Calanon stepped back, not sure if he should interrupt in the deep thought and contemplations.

'Come closer Calanon and stop lurking'.

'Forgive me Lady' – answered the elf- 'I was not sure whether I arrived in the right time'.

'There is no need to worry, as Ilmarë would bring you to me if I got urgent tasks. What is your concern?'

'My Lady, I am sure you have heard about the latest work of Fëanor and the manner he is speaking about his works'.

Varda carefully examined at the blond elf. The beautiful face of Valie showed no emotions, while she was watching her guest and only exchanged enigmatic looks with Ilmarë. In the meanwhile Queen ordered her handmaiden to leave her with Calanon and nodded her slim, white hand ordering him to approach.

'I see'- answer was laconic – 'We have heard several comments and voices about the light of the Trees hidden and secured in the form of Silmarills. Fëanor indeed proved how genius he was. In his soul there is a burning fire, stronger than fire in the soul of any other elves. I hope this fire is not going to burn him'.

'I am afraid this is already happening my Lady'- he explained – 'Prince of Noldor has already proclaimed his rebellious ideas. I am afraid that the praise of his works only make him even more self-satisfied'.

'The lack of sympathy towards the creator is not the authorization to decrease the greatness of his work'- Valie answered reprovingly – 'Fëanor is a genius. I agree that his temper is harsh, but he did nothing against our laws or customs. It is not forbidden to think about those elves who remained in the distant Middle-Earth'.

'But he almost started the rebellion and suggest that elves should departure'- answered Calanon.

'We are not going to make anyone stay in our land by force'- Valie explained – 'Silmarills forged by Fëanor are impressive and the Light inside need protection'.

'What kind of additional protection do you mean Lady? Does the form of jewel is not a sufficient protection?'

'No Calanon, it is not. The Light of the Tree itself is defenceless as it was our intention for it to be accessible for every living creature'- she explained- 'My light gives comfort and peace to every pure and just soul. Simultaneously, it inflicts unspeakable pain to those unworthy. When I bless the Silmarills no one of dark heart will ever be able to touch them, without risk of burning hands and both physical and spiritual wounds'.

Calanon needed some time to understand decision made by Queen. She decided to protect work that certainly impressed her deeply. Elf muttered something similar to "If Fëanor will get his hands burned, I will not why". Calanon was wise enough to remain quite while standing close to Valie. It was not the first time that Varda told him that he is too harsh and prejudiced towards prince of Noldor. Nevertheless, it was Queen of Valar not himself whose duty was to remain neutral in judgments and he was glad.

'Are Nimwen still sitting in the Library?'- elf asked, trying to change a topic of the conversation.

'No, my dear husband invited Idhrenion and Nimwen to join him on one of his favourite terraces. I don't know how long they are going be there. Don't worry Calanon, we know how to take care of our guests'.

'I never doubted in that my Lady. It's time for me to go'.

Calanon said his farewells as he got a very good idea of the customs in the palace. There is still a time to find Nimwen, definitely excited to see on the sightseeing terraces. Idhrenion definitely reacted joyfully and leave his writings and philosophical contemplations.

Xxxxxx

Two elves enjoyed the visit, even if their joy dropped down at some time point. Nimwen felt almost sad, when she finished her work on both translations and dictionary. She realized soon there would be no explanation for the to keep visiting the Library. Nimwen doubted she would manage to get access one more time.

Nimwen quickly forgot her doubts, when they had reached the observation terrace. At the very first moment she almost cried as every elf is sensitive towards beauty of the nature. She looked over the barrier, to see the great amounts of land beyond. Even now, after spending some time in the Library, it seemed weird to look at the snow from above, usually being in the pleasant, warm environment.

Two observation stroke here: strange sky of steel gray and freezing cold. She noticed no clouds, only the sky so strange then in the lands below. The large, beatific snowflakes swirled in the air, but somehow disappeared before hitting the marble floor. It was a cold place, much colder than the Library or corridors nearby and almost hostile in that floor. Elleth, still in her light robes, start shaking in those winter conditions.

She caught the sight of Idhrenion, shivering with cold as her. Obviously they planned to ask for permission to come back for a blanket or any other piece of clothing to prevent them from freezing to death, but in that particular moment they did not dare to interrupt their host. The terrace was not distant from the Library, but even though they needed some time to get there. Nimwen was excited, when she learned what was depicted on the frescoes. Landscapes and plants were strange and somehow frightening, as fields full of unknown, exotic plants.

'In those paintings, you can see Arda how it looked thousand years before first elves saw the lake Cuiviénen' – Vala said – 'I believe you consider those views as extremely strange, as indeed those plants and mountains resembled little what is familiar to you'.

'I got impression as if trees and shrubs were much larger' – Nimwen commented.

'It is possible, however we used none of the measurements comparable to those by elves and this impression can be false. Let's go, the golden Light is almost gone: you will not be able to see much in the darkness of night'.

Elves nodded in agreement, as during the Years of Trees days and nights were shorter than in the incoming eras. The silver light of both stars and Teleprion provided much less light than golden aura of Laurelin. The change between Trees were close to come, which gave them limited amount of time to enjoy the views. The icy cold of the terrace left them little excitement.

'Do you have any questions?'- it was the most desired statement for two elves.

'Lord, is the terrace always so cold' – Nimwen asked as soon as she made her voice sound confident. She wanted cup of something hot more than anything in the world.

'The visibility is better in such temperature, as the chilly air is clearer and let me look further. No one has ever complained, thus I have forgotten how delicate elves are'.

'Interesting I can see more and further than usual'- Nimwen whispered to herself.

'I remember than in the woods there'- Idhrenion pointed at the dark point below – 'The air has been always different than in our households, but we got little idea why. Now I know it is due to cold that indeed make observations easier'.

They spoke little, only exchanged glances. The silver light of Teleprion almost replaced the golden light of Laurelin leaving them a few moments to enjoy the views. At first, elves noticed everlasting snow in above dark forests, where elfings were walking and playing in the snow. To make the experience more interesting, Nimwen and Idhrenion saw Vanyarian settlements arranged in the complicated, outwardly chaotic patters if observed from the ground. From the perspective of the terrace however, they noticed the arrangement visible only from height. Nimwen wondered who proposed such arrangements.

Nimwen looked at the sky of steel-gray. Stars seemed to shine more intensively than elsewhere, as if they were closer. Elleth got impression, that it was possible to touch them if jumped high enough. The enormous snowflakes were falling from the shy, while Nimwen tried to catch them in hand. Unfortunately, the warmth of her body made them melt almost immediately. She seemed unhappy, as wanted to save them for longer.

Xxxxxx

The Nimwen's father was looking for his daughter. He got very important reason as his son was about to open his own, small workshop. The closest family and friends obviously received invitation to their small celebrations and presence of youngest daughter was essential. Jeweler visited Calanon to collect her from the Vanyarian settlements.

'I will inform Nimwen as soon as she is back'- Calanon answered – 'She has always been very proud from her brother and his craftsman skills'.

'I taught my son as much as I could' – elf explained – 'I want to express my greatest gratefulness for teaching my daughter as she showed no talents in the areas familiar to my family. I failed to help her'.

'There are numerous talents to develop. For some of us it is to forge items from the metal or wood, whereas others, historical knowledge. I will collect Nimwen from the Library and tell her to visit you'.

'I am hardly able to believe that Valar let her …'- jeweler seemed shocked.

'Yes, she was allowed and moreover she has a chance to become one of Disciples'.

'It seems that clumsiness of my daughter may be a blessing in fact. I cannot express my astonishment'.

Discussion made jeweller pleased and proud from his youngest daughter for the very first time in her life. Her clumsiness was the subject of many anecdotes, no one mocked her in a malicious way even if Nimwen's poor attempts of embroidery were hilarious or depressing depending on the point of view. He also forbade her to even touch chisels and other tools to prevent serious injuries.

Nimwen arrived with Calanon on the small, opening ceremony to celebrate new workshop by her brother. The older elf discussed her scientific interests and books during their way to Tirion. He obviously approved her historical interests and suggested few more philosophical readings.

'Valar enjoyed discussion about more, let me call it abstract, topics' – Calanon explained.

'I have noticed'- Nimwen admitted – 'I am for example interested if and how the Two Trees of Valinor impact the Middle-Earth and ..'

'You are asking a right questions my dear'- elf clapped his hands – 'By the way, has Rúmil replied to your letter?'

'Yes he has kindly replied and suggested meeting to discuss necessary help in my translations. I am excited to hear that the greatest scholar of Noldor wish to help me!'.

'In that situation I will invite him to my house to arrange the meeting'- Calanon assured- '

\- I'll invite him to my house and arrange your meeting - assured Calanon – 'Do not be so astonished Nimwen and do not consider everyone as self-important as Finwë and Fëanor to consider themselves superior towards elves only because was chosen leader of his people once. The true scholar wants his wisdom and knowledge to develop and be passed to younger generation. You plan to teach elfings about history, don't you?'

'Yes, I plan to as there is no use to gather knowledge and hide it eventually' – Nimwen explained.

'Those are the words of true scholar. Rúmil is a scholar as well'.

They kept talking in the similar manner and Calanon finally convinced Nimwen she had a chance to become one of Disciples. Such position was of great honour and temptation obviously. The high social status was not the only reason, but significant one. "Everyone is happy about getting higher in the ranks, it all about not getting blinded by the rank". She got his message.

Nimwen and Calanon reached the place as one of the last guests, as the way from Vanyarian households were long. Father was very peaky about punctuality, but to the great astonishment of elleth said nothing about their late arrival. Instead, he greeted both his daughter and Calanon warmly to her further surprise. She asked no questions.

'Congratulations my brother'- Nimwen greeted the tall, dark-haired elf – 'I wish you a plenty of customers, which without doubt will be attracted by your talents'.

'Thank you for your kindness little sister'- he answered-'I am more than happy to see you managed to leave your books and scrolls for a moment'.

'It would be a crime to miss such an opportunity. The historical books are not going to disappear'.

They kept talking for a while. Young craftsman seemed very proud from his latest works, including brand new bracelets and necklaces. He introduced few new designs very novel in the matter of form. Nimwen admired them sincerely and appraised the work aloud.

She also met her older sister, skilled embroideress often working with her mother. Two sisters spoke briefly, as Nimwen noticed sibling was awaiting someone. When unknown to Nimwen elf arrived, her sister almost run to him as every woman in love would do. Aunt, who was living in the Alqualondë, showed more interest. Mother also seemed excited about her studies and books, which encourage Nimwen to tell them more. Who knows, maybe other elves are also interested in the living on the distant shores of Middle-Earth?

'Those close to Teleri lives far away in the woods of Doriath. It is a place of safety and enormous beauty'- she started.

'Aren't they unhappy about the lack of the light of the Trees?'- someone asked 'the Middle-Earth is the land of hunger and darkness'.

'Twilight but not darkness' – she explained-'The light of Laurelin and Teleprion shines mostly in the Valinor and islands nearby, which makes stars the main source of light in the Middle-Earth. However, Trees somehow affect even distant plants, as elves are not starving there, even if their customs and languages are obviously different. They seem to follow the culture we had at the shores of Cuiviénen, which was obviously less complicated'.

'Prince Fëanor is eager to provide them with out teachings and culture or rather conquer their lands. He is speaking about his plans openly'- continued the same elf.

'Does he have any particular plans or just discuss his opinions?'- Nimwen asked.

'It is not clear; however, he keeps saying that elves achieved already anything that is possible for us in Valinor. According to him it is a high time for us to use talents in the real world and return to the Middle-Earth. He is looking for support of his come-back idea and achieved quite a success'.

It helped Nimwen with better understanding of the situation in Tirion. The creation of Silmarills turned out to be much more than just a masterpiece: the fact that Varda herself hallowed the Jewels was the best proof. The fact that Fëanor was of a harsh temper was not among news, but open suggestions to leave the lands of the West as there is nothing more elves could achieve here was. Fëanor also started to get more and more paranoid and suspicious.

Nimwen though little about the Prince and his political ideas. She considered them as nothing more than discussion as Noldor were ruled by a wise king Finwë, who has always managed to keep peace and agreement between them. He obviously loved his firstborn more than other kids and has always took on his side in arguments, but what disaster could happen in the land of Valar?

She stopped thinking about princes and their arguments. Books seemed more interesting topics for the conversation. It was the marvellous meeting when brother discussed his ideas for crafting and selling jewellery with other elves, while sister was enjoying her time with her friend. Mother gossiped with their neighbours and none of them suspected it is going to be the last meeting of that kind.


	5. Disciples and plots

**S. Sgriobhadaireachd** : I recall you of course!Thames you for your kind words. I think we know the story of Feanor and his sons pretty well but know nothing about others affected by them. They left Valinor and a lot of hurt and scared elves there. What about them? I was also wondering how other elves judged actions of Feanor and others by his family. I believe there must be a group of those really angry, as for example those close to Indis.

* * *

Nimwen suspected that she and the other elves were carefully observed while in the Ilmarin. It became clear that impression she made was definitely good. Elleth enjoyed reading the old books and considered teaching history as important and interesting task. In the meantime, she decided to learn more about laws and customs to get better understanding of words by Fëanor. His thesis seemed weird and even dangerous as why to leave the safe shores of Valinor? When her knowledge about the past increased, the understanding of thesis by the Prince of Noldor decreased. Maybe the dangerous from Cuiviénen disappeared, but who knows what was left?

In the chamber distant from the Library, the lovely woman with long, black hair was looking through the window. She observed the shining stars, flickering in the weird manner as if they were whispering. Woman was a creature of the unspeakable beauty in the eyes of any beholder. Light radiated around her covered with the lilac nightgown. She seemed very fragile and delicate even if such impression was not right. Whatever caught her attention, made her worried.

If she noticed the presence of the light-haired man, said nothing. The slight smile crossed her face, while she waited for him to approach. His presence has always made her happy. His eyes were full of the affection, admiration and love. Their love was strong and passionate even if elves would never imagine them in such a role.

'You seemed worried my love'- he put his arms around her tenderly – 'Has anything happened to make you upset?'.

'I feel the problems coming, but I failed to notice them. Do you have the impression we missed some very important element? I feel the changes coming, followed by the shadow. I don't know where the shadow came from but seem to be almost everywhere!'.

She looked at him, while stars were shining in her eyes, shining with the mysterious light while heart was torn by feelings or while her beloved one came close. She smiled as in his eyes she seemed the most wonderful wonder of the whole world. She had the light inside her and he promised to protect the light so many desired.

'I am not sure if I am concerned, but on the other hand how about inviting new souls into our household? Disciples, someone we can teach, raise and treat as the child, may be an excellent addition. You know, others who decided to invite Disciples to their households seemed very happy because of it'.

'This is the statement, not the question doesn't it? Who is the lucky choice of you?'- he asked standing closer.

'You are right as usual'- she answered in the warm smile, playing with his light hair – 'Idhrenion, the student of Calanon made the wonderful impression on me. We understand each other pretty well I must admit'.

'I am sure he is going to appraise him in his poems. How about young Maglor?'

'I've noticed the potential inside him, but he follows his father without any doubt. He spends so much time trying to guess wishes by Fëanor, that forgets his own goals. We share our opinions, don't we? We both should have Disciples and young Nimwen seemed promising. We need to consider who we plan to invite to our household'.

They remained still for the moment, while the silver light of starts covered them. Light of the night sky surrounded female figure full of grace and enormous beauty. She put her arms around his neck in the gesture that would made most elves to fall down the stairs. Even more shocking event happened when he pressed his lips against her in the way far away from innocence and spirituality.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Not long afterwards, Nimwen was reading the old book. Elleth finished translation to describe the ancient island of Almaren in the middle of the lake destroyed eons ago. She got no idea how distant events were described. Elves started to count years based on starts and light of the Two Trees. Those who had existed before them felt no pressure to count weeks and years in the way elves did. The ancient story seemed exciting, yet raised additional questions.

Nimwen became excited but not scared by the invitation for the discussion. She even started to enjoy long meetings with the dignified creatures, while prevented fear and panic from the very first moment. Maybe it happened due to the culture, maybe the views by Noldor or maybe own ideas? Vanyar, living in the close proximity of the King and Queen of Ilmarin described them as tender, polite and respectful members of the society. She has grown in the understanding since started studying law followed by discussion with wise elves as Calanon.

He was very convincing when presented words and actions by Fëanor as the serious threat. Calanon persuaded Nimwen not to ignore the possible problems and stop considering his words as the part of the random speech. She became careful and distrustful towards the prince, as Calanon was among most important people in her life.

'Come closer Nimwen, we have a lot of to talk about'- the order in the voice of Manwë was covered by mildness and politeness.

'As you wish, my Lord'- she answered.

'You desire the knowledge, don't you? I have heard the rumors that it is extremely difficult for you to leave the Library. The most interesting knowledge lie beyond books and scrolls which are the first step only, even if very important. Now it is the right time for the another step on your path: the new perspective'.

'Lord, what do you mean?'- she asked barely able to believe.

Nimwen bite her lips, trying her lips trying her best not to jump from joy. No one would ever make a jokes about her clumsiness any more. She clenched her hands trying to control her feelings and chaos in her head. She took the deep breath to get some more time, as Calanon suggested many times.

'You have the opportunity to learn much more than it is written in those books as my Disciple. Please listen carefully before any answer will be given'- he continued seeing excitement on the face of the elleth – 'We tend to think deeply and carefully before any elf is asked to join our household as the Disciple and only a few are permitted. It is not the first time I asked such a question'- his voice became capable of chill air in the winter day- 'the one who proceed you used my friendship. I will not let anyone to use my name for the task of building the royal position. For the next time, my mercy will be much smaller for the such act of the betrayal. If you dream about becoming princess and as the result collect tributes, go away now. I promise you not to get upset with the negative answer and moreover you will remain allowed to enter the Library. Tell me Nimwen, why do you desire the knowledge do much?'.

'I ….'- she started terrified by the coldness in his tone- 'I am interested in the world around and I love to learn more to …achieve the better understanding'.

'What do you plan to do when all answers will be yours?'.

She knew that her answer would be extremely important. In most cases he was seeing him as the cordial and polite figure in the blue-gray robes, strongly similar the light breeze of the wind. The figure standing nearby now, became closer to the hurricane and elemental storm. She shuddered, when realized how powerful and ancient being she spoke with. If such a demonstration was prepared to make her speak careful words, the goal was achieved.

Nimwen noticed no anger in his voice. He provided the deep explanation only, speaking about the former Disciple and friend with the mixture of both annoyance and sadness. The careful approach seemed reasonable, but to be sure to succumb the temptation of the high position? How not to became admired with the position? Only a fool would answer "no, I won't" without hesitation, whereas Nimwen was not a fool but rather too modest but able to assesses the situation.

'I doubt if all secrets will be revealed to me'- she started – 'Moreover, I dream about become a teacher myself. The mind of the elfing is so open for the new ideas! As for becoming the princess, I believe fall is the long-term and gradual, not the sudden process'.

'Maybe it is'- he said –'you are able to see the threat and not deny its existence which is wise. Would you like to join my household as my Disciple?'.

'Yes'- she answered without hesitation – 'If I ever start to behave as too proud princess, I hope for the prod'.

'We tend to help our dependent ones in many ways. You must know everything is going to change now. It is nothing bad in being aware of the high position as long as the long position is not used to treat others badly. You are allowed to use it, but pride is very dangerous'.

'I want to be a scholar, nothing more'- she assured.

'My child, we consider our Disciples are important members of the household, which will make you something better. Please, don't fell in love with the title as Ingwë once did'.

'There is no need to speak in such official manner in home, please keep those form for more official situations'.

She was guided into her new chambers. Nimwen almost sat with excitement when she noticed place prepared for her: spacious bedroom, frescos on the ceiling and the overall size of the room made her dizzy. The royal bed was wide enough to sleep across it I needed, or maybe she can invite her brother or sister on the pillow fight? It seemed a great idea, she missed her childhood plays.

Nimwen started feeling weird and indeed in the princess-like manner when get a sheer, dark blue dress. She has never seen and definitely never wore such a robe. As every woman she wanted to impress others and being considered as elegant and good looking. She enjoyed books and scrolls, but also followed teachings by Vanyar to maintain the balance between play and work and also spiritual and earthy affairs. Young elleth considered their approach as very wise.

She has never worn, or even watched closely similar miracles. As every woman wanted to please and impress, despite appearances, is not devoting the entire time you are only on the books and recipes. Vanyar taught to maintain a balance between science and fun, between spiritual and worldly affairs, and their approach to getting young elf.

Nimwen examined her mirror reflection, admiring layers of silk delicate as flower petals. The robe was quite stiff at the top but beyond the waist decorated by the strap-shaped leaves became loose. The neckline of the fancy shape was richly embroidered, leaving no need for the necklace. Any addition would make an effect of excess. Elleth decorated her ears with the long earrings decorated with sapphires and left hair undecorated. If she walks in Tirion wearing such a dress, elleths would discuss her robes and jewelry for weeks. In most cases, they tend to discuss outfits of princesses and ladies-in-waiting from the court of Finwë. Every piece of jewelry, type of cuts and whole decorations were discussed by Noldor as passionately as the poetry by Vanyar. Nimwen has never considered herself as the possible topic for the discussion.

She smiled while looking through the window. Nimwen planned to tell parents and Calanon everything. The craftspeople of Noldor preferred their daughter to be interested in carving and embroidering to poetic discussions with Vanyar. Nevertheless, they have never forced her and now finally would become proud.

Xxxxxxx

Nimwen share news with both the closest family and Calanon. Elleth spent her first days of the new life by pinching herself several times to be sure it was the reality not the dream. Regular meetings with Idhrenion, another lucky elf to become the Disciple helped the to believe. He loved the poetry among anything else and also find the pleasure with reading long, philosophical treaties.

'We, Vanyar wrote down many of our teachings but not share them with other elves. This is not right, others have right to learn' – said Idhrenion.

'I am not sure how many Noldor with show any interest, but the approach is worth trying'- said Nimwen.

'Do you make any progress in your work on the dictionary?'.

'Rúmil showed the great interest and I plan to meet him again soon. To be sincere I prefer history to the language studies. How about your poems?'.

'My dad is so proud and share his appraisal with everyone. I wonder if I should have the poetical contest with Maglor. He is considered as the difficult and skilled'.

'It will be a pleasure to see both of you in a such fascinating contest. The victory of either of you will be a joy'- said Nimwen.

Eventually, the anticipated contest was cancelled. Maglor remained with Teleri. When he heard someone else became the Disciple he had more time to spend with them. Elf wanted to return to Vanyarian households for long. The unpleasant letter from his father made him change the original intensions.

Finally, there has been a planned event. Maglor did not return from the Teleri, because ever since the news went around the area that someone else was elected Student had a little more time. He even wanted to return to the newly Vanyarin, but remained among them briefly. He got very sharp, unpleasant message from his father, ordering the return.

" _You disappointed us greatly with your inability to become one of Disciples. You failed, even if your talents and origin provided you with all possibilities. If Valar said "no" there is no need for you to waste your time with those useless poets. Return home as we have another task for you_ ". Maglor obeyed as he has always obeyed his dominant father. Since early childhood he has been taught to obey and no place remained for questions.

Nimwen asked Calanon several times about Maglor. Their last meeting took place some time ago, which made her little anxious. In those days the fear was unknown towards elves. No one suspected anything bad to occur in the land of Valar, but regardless that young elleth failed to understand why he left without even single "goodbye". There was not a close friends, but spend some time together and his behavior seemed weird.

'Forget him'- Calanon suggested –'He left after his father had written him a letter. You look gorgeous' – he looked at her long dress – 'Don't hide yourself after the wrap, you are young'.

Elleth was wearing a long, comfortably looking dress of color of the night sky. As the robe had short sleeves, she took the wrap to cover hands. The V-shaped neckline made her look light and girly. She chose the high heeled shoes in order not to falter on every step. Calanon investigated her figure carefully, very proud of his young friend.

Nimwen planned to meet other Vanyarian friends, not only Calanon. Some time ago she changed her history talks into the regular classes. She was told, that as the Disciple she need to share her knowledge with others and hoped to fulfil duties as good as possible. She wanted nothing but teaching kids forever, unware how short "forever" would be.

From the perspective, she considered that period as the best of heh life. She was so carefree there: parents kept visiting her regularly in the Vanyarian households. Her clumsiness provoked no more jokes as she became most talented kid in the family. When her child dream became true she enjoyed it less, as she found other who admired her. The older brother seemed the successful merchant with several clients. He was both distinguished jeweler, but also an artist, constantly searching for new patterns and forms. Nimwen congratulated him very proud that her brother was so skillful, even more skillful than the father.

Not long time after, she met other Disciples. Among the group, she developed the friendly relations with the Nesseldë, Teleri – origin Disciple of Irmo. She was tall, silver-haired, gentle and somehow dreamy of nature as most of Teleri. Who knows, maybe the long term studies of dreams and illusions changer her into distracted and unconscious? Mahtan, energetic, famous blacksmith and father in law to Fëanor seemed the leader of the group of Disciples. Nimwen quickly realized that elves chosen as Disciples make themselves similar in both behavior and clothing similar to mentors. Mahtan for example grew w beard, unusual for elves.

'I am very excited to welcome the new Noldo to out group'- Mahtan greeted her – 'What is the subject you decided to teach?'

'I chose the history and laws, as it fits me best'- she explained.

'Wonderful choice'- he touched his beard –'you don't like the fire of forges, don't you?'.

'How did you guess?'.

'When we shook hands I realize you was extremely delicate. I love my work and my daughter is following my steps. Neither of us have a such a smooth skin of the scholar of embroidery mistress. If you were the second, Lady Vairë is the most skilled in this matter and eagerly share her knowledge with others. Only a loving book scholar may love the Library of the Ilmarin'.

'I am impressed by your deduction'- she answered –' My father, brother and my friends of Tirion are great craftsmen, but I am clumsy. The teachings of Vanyar turned out to be best for me'.

'Indeed'- he said- 'Tell me more about your family please, as I am always keen to learn more about my skilled compatriots'.

No repetition was needed. She smiled while taking about father and brother: skilled artist and craftsman. Nimwen also mentioned mother and sister trained in the art of embroidery. She knew how her clumsiness made her strange, but don't know who made her love books. Who knows, maybe her aunt from Alqualondë taught her and persuaded to love words? She kept talking to Mahtan and answered any question. He resembled Nimwen of her father friends, but more famous and respected in Tirion.

She felt it was a high time to visit the hometown. Who knows how many children of Noldor would find more interest in the history than the crafting. The knowledge could be valuable and need to be open to everyone, even if that lead to spending less time with Vanyar. Nevertheless, as the Disciple she is supposed to teach others.

Xxxxxxx

She was going much more in the palace, than reading books in the Library. Nesseldë explained that each of the Disciples learn proficiency in arts and powers somehow related to the domain of their mentor. They got specific skills in most cases not available for most elves. It was rather obvious for Nimwen that her training would be related with the air, as touch of Nesseldë could give a sleep or wake up as well as see through illusions. Such skills were useless in the combat but in those times only the hunters of Oromë needed weapons.

'I may teach you how to listen and call the wind. Beware of the latter one as accidents may happen if you call winds in the presence of other elf. Do not use such skills when you are with other elves, ever' – this was an order.

Elleth nodded her hear hearing reasonable words. None of them were then able to guess the terrible results by such order. It was impossible for Nimwen to even consider using such magic or power to defend against any elf. The last sentence came to her in the moment of the trial and left the trace to stay forever. The shadows were gathering on the very edge of the horizon, yet remained unnoticed.

In the meantime, Fëanor began to forge the first daggers and swords in the secret. The Silmarills created by him and hallowed by Varda herself attracted heave attention. No long time was needed for a prince to hear the whispers that light of the Two Tress should not be stored in the shape of the Jewels.

'The greatness of your work let no one unaffected'- Melkor was poisoning his mind –'I am impressed as the mightiest among the might, we can only guess the feelings of the others' – he asked with the predator smile.

'You are neither the mightiest of Valar not their King'- Fëanor answered.

'However the greatest power and knowledge is mine'- he smoothly swallowed the insult – 'we have a lot of in common: we are both the greatest among our kin and yet deprived of rightful glory by younger brothers'.

'Enough of this, I have a lot of work'- elf hissed.

Melkor remained silent when pretended to obey and walked towards doors. Every time Vala saw the Jewels, his eyes were full of the sinister fire. In those times he still disguised his greed under the beauty and innocence. He smiled sincerely where leaving, sure that he planted suspicions in the heart of the elf.

The very bad relations between Fëanor and children of Indis lasted since the birth of the half-sibling of Fëanor. The oldest son of Finwë get furious every time his father was visiting Fingolfin instead of him. Every living soul in the royal palace of Tirion might hear their arguments and spread around the city almost instantly. Melkor, who hated elves among every other living being, heard those rumors easily.

" _My dear brother, green meadows of your land will be covered with blood soon. You will be watching helplessly at your little puppets killed. Eventually, they will be given their reward for what you did to me because of them. You started the war because of them and humiliated me with imprisonment. The memory of the shadows from the Cuiviénen will be like a childhood dream when compared to what awaits_ "- he muttered when left alone. He seemed gentle and curious then, pretend to be interested in the affairs of elves. Melkor was listening to all rumors, especially those about the house of Finwë. He was laughing, when developed his plans against Fëanor. Prince was wise enough to distrust Melkor, but aversion towards the stepmother and halfsiblings was stronger than anything.

As for Nimwen, she met Melkor only few times and very briefly. She recognized him as the shadow and the enemy of the first elves. He was still under supervision of other Valar and not exactly free and made her so scared that her voice was shaking when speaking a few not-really-wise words. For her best luck, he considered her as stupid creature not worth to waste his precious time one " _I will twist the neck of this puppet or slightly 'upgrade" her, but I have more important tasks that mindless, palace pets_ ".

At those times, he was walking between elves and other living in Aman, as tall, dark-haired man wearing black-red robes. In this beautiful and yet dark form, he strongly resembled Manwë his light-haired and much gentle brother. He made his lips to smile, close to smirk however, and encouraged elves to talk to him: "Everything about the inhabitants of Aman and their everyday life gains my attention. Tell me more about your concerns, as I am not the one to close his home at the high mountain from you"- he used to smile of the way how elves were naïve.

Manu peaceful months passed without any shadow of coming problems. Small signals and changes in the behavior of Fëanor were explained by the difficult and harsh character of elf who stared to work alone in his rooms and refused to show Silmarils to anyone. He has been known from his nature of lonely worker who enjoy own company most.

Xxxxxxx

Nerdanel welcomed Maglor calmly. She remembered how many excellent craftsmen tried to become tutees of her father and even Aulë himself. Not to anyone surprise, only few were eventually accepted as the precious reward just can't lie on the street, can it? She asked him about living longer among Vanyar with who he shared the love towards poetry.

The reaction by his father and brothers were much worse. It was a great honor to become the Disciple of one of Valar: many desired such position, but few were awarded. Anyone, except for Fëanor and most impetuous of his sons, understood those simple facts. Nerdanel and Fëanor got countless arguments as the results of discussion why Maglor failed to become one of Disciples, when dwelt at the Taninquentil. The explanations by Fëanor were getting more and more paranoid to Nerdanel's despise.

'They are so jealous, that used Maglor to hurt me' – he said angrily-'everyone is jealous, I am surrounded by jealously'- he shouted and Nerdanel made the step back.

'Who are you talking about?'- he asked, clearly afraid of the possible answer.

'Maglor was not chosen as the Disciple, even if it is clear that no other elf is more skilled'- he repeated – 'My greatest achievement is desire for everyone. Do you know that Melkor almost demanded my Jewels? I can see greed in his eyes when he is looking at them, I am not naïve enough to believe his brother is different'.

'Such accusation is almost the blasphemy'- she answered full of fear –'this is madness to make matter worse. Your Jewels will be our doom, as you stared to accuse of such awful actions everyone, including those who invited us to the light and protected against shadows. Keep in mind husband, Valinor is the land ruled not by elves, but…'- she made a terrible mistake.

'I know rulers'- he grind last words out –'they took as hire and robbed from our freedom so jealous of our skills. We are to be ruled solely on our own without their guidance. My Jewels are as excellent as their works: I have the right to rule with them as their equal'.

Nerdanel looked terrified when noticed how angry Fëanor went. He left the chamber, complaining loudly about injustice Maglor had faced. The genius is always alone in the greatness, surrounded by envy. He started to believe it more and more as well as the rumors younger brother might took his heritage and throne away from him. Elf went far away norm with his suspicions.

Nerdanel watched her husband leave. She need to act to something and not leave him alone with crazy ideas. He has already started to suspect his brothers, not real brothers as he called them, and accused of plotting to steam the Silmarils from him. Who is the next to be accused? Nerdanel knew, that her husband is harsh enough to suspect literally anyone. When his pride and satisfaction from great works turned into dark and disturbing paranoia?

She decided to visit her father as desperately needed one evening free from paranoid thoughts about Silmarills and possible robbers. The rest was essential to prevent her from biting and getting bitchy. Enormous amounts of peace and clear mind is needed to help her husband: he need to know he is not surrender by enemies trying to steal his previous Jewels. Finwë is not helping at all with his inability to see any problems of his firstborn.

Mahtan welcomed his daughter warmly. The empty chair had been always awaited her in the dining room, whereas her rooms remained unchanged. For several years Fëanor, one of the most talented students of Mahtan, was welcomed among them, but not anymore. Mahtan heard rumors about harsh words by his son-in-law and watched prince of Noldor carefully. He was never of gentle character but seemed getting more and more difficult.

'What brings you here my child?'- he asked hugging her – 'You seem worried, better tell me. Calathiel is going to ask you numerous questions!'.

'I need to talk about Fëanor, but please tell him no word. I am afraid to become a traitor in his eyes'- she briefly explained the last discussion.

Her anger arose, when described what happened. To make matters worse, her fear towards Maglor became here. Fëanor, so dominant when it came to raising boys, suggested gentle poets failed his quest and disappointed them greatly. She let him to raise sons, as some aspects can be learned only by a father figure. Calathiel, the Disciple to Yavanna, taught her female delicacy as a kind of stepmother. As most of Vanyar, she disliked Fëanor and spoke strongly against her marriage with Fëanor. Discussion is going to be tricky.

Therefore, she preferred to talk to father to talkative Calathiel. In most cases Yavanna worded hard on her Disciple manners and words, but not when strongly agreed with arguments. Nerdanel knew the situation and decided to talk to her more reserved and unbiased father.

'It is getting serious! Who does he consider himself to accuse everyone around? The shadows of Cuiviénen killed my brother, sister, wife and mother to you. Does he have any idea about life back then?'.

'He wants to…'.

'Conquer the new lands as far as I know'- said Mahtan – 'no one is going to keep him in Tirion against his will. He is free to go and search for desired adventures. I don't want him to involve either you or my grandsons into his madness. On the other hand, I doubt if our folks in the Middle-Earth will granted him position of the High King so eagerly'.

Mahtan seemed worried when asked Nerdanel to joined him in one of the forges. They loved to work together and discussed problems while working. Their bad emotions changed into the physical force so needed for work. Nerdanel changed her dress into more appropriate robes and started discussion.

'What about Maglor, I hope he is fine?'- asked Mahtan.

'My son is worried, as he definitely preferred to stay with his friends among Vanyar. He was excited when talked about poetry contests'.

'Why did he left them?'

'Fëanor and his father ordered him to come back. My husband went furious when Maglor was not granted the position of Disciple'.

'Let's clarify it then. First he said, that elves should depart from Valinor, then wanted his son to become the Disciple of Manwë or Varda and eventually became upset as someone else was chosen?'.

'Precisely'- Nerdanel explained –'who became their Disciples?'

'Son of Elemmirë and young elleth form Tirion. I have met both of them recently'.

'Maglor talked about her a lot. I think he liked her, which made Fëanor mad. He shouted that the son of the prince should not waste time for the daughter of ordinary craftsman. I guess he was mad as Maglor was not selected and all in all have nothing against her'.

The blacksmith hit the metal ore harder and almost destroyed it. He muttered something unpleasant, perfectly aware that his mentor, Aulë, would ask what happened to one of his favorite tools. Mahtan had no intention for a long conversation about keeping emotions controlled and appropriate behavior.


	6. First love?

'I am grateful to welcome you back to my household, which has been rare recently'- Aulë welcomed her warmly.

'Forgive me Lord, but as a wife and mother of seven sons I have almost no time to spare'- she explained.

'There is no need to worry, I am not angry on you Nerdanel, but will become if not stay for the dinner'.

She nodded wanted nothing but peace. Nerdanel was sure Fëanor would be angry if noticed their bed remained empty. However, elleth needed peace without worrying for his mood, she dreamed about care and nothing but conversation. All of that waited in the household of Mahtan.

Calathiel asked Nerdanel numerous questions. She remained well connected with other Vanyar even if living in the Gardens of Yavanna. Elleth paid special attention to Indis and listened to all the news about her. As most of Vanyar she strongly disliked Fëanor, but made her attitude milder in the presence of Nerdanel. But forging the Silmarils, yes it was a blasphemy to capture the light to the Trees.

As usual, Nerdanel ended up in the desperate attempt to defend husband from Calathiel and others. As the result she managed to convince herself and few others, that there is not threat in words by Fëanor. Satisfied and rested she came back and greeted husband passionately. No danger is lurking the Blessed Realm- Mahtan used to say.

Being married to Fëanor resembled sailing on the troubled waters. Since the Silmarils was forged the whole cruise went difficult with severe storms. None of them had gentle and submissive personality, which made the whole cruise interesting. Contrary to other sons of the king, their shared bed during nights full of passion and tenderness. Their arguments lead to passionate ends, when they felt asleep in each other arms.

'His words are weird and terrible' – Fëanor said –' there is the darkness within him, exactly as you warned me, but even though not every word is senseless'.

'Please, tell him to back off'- she asked – ' I have no idea what is he up to, but please be careful'.

'I did it but he refuses to listen. He is always back after some time and is looking at my Silmarils when believe I cannot notice'.

'Then tell someone'- she insisted-' your words sounds serious, try to speak to Manwë, as the Lord of Valar he has an authority over his brothers. Such behavior is far from the normal one!'.

'It is far indeed, but I am almost as far from willingness to talk with other Valar. They are all the same and I noticed how they are looking at my Jewels. I will never forget how eyes of _their_ Queen shined, while she was hallowing Silmarils. They are desired what is mine and send him as the spy'.

'Please remain calm as you have no proof. Such accusations may cause a lot of harm'.

The incoming night was far from peaceful. It required a lot of effort to convince Fëanor not to speak so openly about his paranoia. If anyone hears, they will be in trouble. The royal court of Finwë resembled all other courts with different groups of interests, which had existed even before king married Indis. Friends of the second queen would definitely make use of harsh words, as they tend to behave. Nerdanel education was not helpful when it comes to deal with being on the court, even if her position as the daughter to Mahtan made her strong. She worked hard to keep the fragile balance even if Fëanor was far from helping.

Elleth touched husband's shoulder trying to calm him down and showing support. He peacefully felt asleep on her breasts and terrible feeling of being helpless disappeared. Unfortunately for them, dark times were to come and Nerdanel learned more than ever wanted about feeling weak. But in that particular moment she hugged him one more time and smiled.

Unfortunately for them, Melkor was the master of lies with the excellent knowledge how to play on fears and feelings of Fëanor using sweet words. Once he was only sincere enough to claim Silmarills openly, using his position and power. The precision of his attacks was terrifying.

'We are creators of everything and word itself. How dare you, a simple guest in our land, dare to say no?'- he shouted.

'You were not in this land, when Valar crafter Valinor and raised the Trees. Correct me if I am wrong, but you were a prisoner when my father came here as the ambassador of elves!'

'Touché'- answered Melkor in his silky voice, but definitely mad – ' it proves how jealous my fellows are: first about mine and now your achievements. Manwë imprisoned me, his own brother only because of his jealousy, your fate will be much worse. Who knowns, maybe Maglor was lucky not to be chosen a Disciple?'

'Maglor is very talented'- Fëanor interrupted angrily – 'he is able achieve the mastery with or without help by Valar. I am the greatest among elves without their helping hand!'.

'Definitely not'- Melkor nodded – 'Don't get me wrong I am sure Maglor is talented, but my little brother preferred mindless, submissive little creature, who dreamed only about being nice pet. We both need beware of younger brothers, who are stealing love our fathers used to have for us. You know what kind of elf Fingolfin is…'

'Leave me alone'

Xxxxxx

In the meantime, Nerdanel persuaded Fëanor to let Maglor spend more time with Vanyar. Elves of light strongly disliked Fëanor, but seemed to finally accept his son, which opened possibility for friendship and alliance with them. Moreover, Nerdanel wanted him to see young elleth Maglor seemed to like. Who knows how their relation may end one day?

Nimwen almost jumped from joy after Idhrenion mentioned the poetry contest with Maglor. No matter what Calanon used to say, she liked son of Fëanor and consider her former teacher as over critical. Maglor neither said or did anything that justify such approach. She smiled and felt butterflies somewhere deep inside when he dedicated the love poem to the "pale lady with dark hair". She was the only Noldo elleth in the neighborhood.

'Thank you very much for your kindness'- she smiled approaching him after the contest – 'I am not able to express fully the happiness your coming back caused'.

'My mother managed to convince father that friendly relations with Vanyar might be politically beneficial. You know how they disliked him because of the queen. I believe that my talents may help him'.

'Your mother is wise woman, as natural for the daughter of Mahtan. No one can have too many friends'- said Nimwen sad, hearing Maglor paid attention only to the political advantages –'Nothing else I will expect

'I agree and here I am. I missed so many, especially you Nimwen'.

She nodded happily. Nimwen felt wonderful relief, when learned Maglor is not upset she was chosen to be a Disciple. No joy and success would be worth such a price of losing a friend. When their eyes met and elleth noticed the hidden fire in his eyes the whole world, and her doubts, seemed to disappear.

Nimwen has always considered being in love for the very first time as the kind of thunder and rain with no shelter nearby. The reality appeared different: she loved conversations and company of Maglor, the only other Noldo among Vanyar. They shared passion for the poetry and intellectual discussions. In the meantime, they talked about places and elves familiar to them both and even discussions between Noldor were different that with others. Even if Maglor was born in the royal family whereas Nimwen not, he never showed her any disrespect. Such differences made no impression on them and meant nothing, at least back then.

They danced during the annual Festival. Nimwen, as the new Disciple of Manwë, attracted a heavy attention. She spoke a lot of with Calanon and inhabitants of palace about changes to come but only during public event realized the change her new status caused for good or maybe opposite. Nimwen had used to stay behind the scenes and now became a star of the performance. She finally started to understand what her mentor talked about the temptation of falling love with the position. From the distance of time, she realized that no mistake was made not because of wisdom but pure luck and being in love with someone else..

Maglor asked her for a long walk and felt deep into the conversation. Soon, they started to exchange passionate yet untrained kisses. During breaks he explained how Idhrenion convinced him to write together volume full of sonnets. Maglor seemed proud and Nimwen nodded happy to notice how her first love found friends among Vanyar. She smiled trying to ignore what Calanon kept saying.

'Don't fool yourself Nimwen' – Calanon advised – 'He is living here, only because his father allowed him to do. You must realize, he will leave us all if Fëanor speaks a single word. Keep in mind please, he speaks louder and louder against our system and wise and merciful Lords of the West. Are you naïve enough to believe he care for you?'

'Why do you hate prince of Noldor so much?'

'It is not the hate, but fear for his harsh temper and inability to respect others. Those who knows nothing about love are dangerous'

Nimwen refused to believe. Indeed, Fëanor was very proud and less than cordial and polite, but difficult temper is not making anyone a threat. Maglor talked with her and other Vanyar in the nice way, it is not possible for him to be a son of the completely dark figure, at least in Nimwen's opinion. Moreover, Maglor was not Fëanor and should not be judged for his father's actions.

It didn't take long for her to suspect that Calanon got personal issues with prince of Noldor. In most cases he also spoke with great disrespect about Finwë, even if he did nothing to deserve it. He was considered as wise and reasonable by many with only blinded love towards first born being described as his serious weakness. Indeed, he seemed to let Fëanor do anything he wanted, however Finwë was not the only father who behaved like that. Nimwen has always considered Calanon as wise, thus unable to understand his attitude. One day she overheard Varda saying " _She is making a picture blurry for you. Fëanor is impolite and very proud, but this is not the crime. It is the crime neither to seek adventures beyond the western seas. If he doubted in us, there is the option for him to live the life Avari has_ ". Nimwen could only guessed what elleth Varda referred to as "she". Feelings affect judgement obviously, but why she was supposed to change her path because of mysterious woman?

Actually, Nimwen almost felt hearing the conversation. When she realized what happened, she prayed Eru for keeping Varda's attention on Calanon. Eavesdropping is extremely rude and Nimwen was not rude. Definitely the last among elleth's desired was to be impolite in the eyes of the Queen who treated her in very gentle manner. Valie seemed a noble and wise member of the family in Nimwen's eyes and Nimwen got a strong urge to impress those close to her. Her imagination was rather poor and obviously too poor to even think about Calanon in the relationship with woman.

'All the words spoken or whispered in the palace need to remain in the palace'- even gentle words by Valie were the order – 'it is difficult to gain the trust and easy to destroy it. Once lost it is hard to regain'

'I ..' – Nimwen was wise enough not to discuss –' I have no intentions to eavesdropping, it was the accident'.

'I am aware of that as you are wise enough not to choose high heeled choses in the attempt of eavesdropping'- Valie asked seriously but her lips were shaking gently – 'Calanon won't be able to keep his secret when acting so openly'.

'Some says, if you want to hide something put in on the visible place'- elleth answered –'he is very skilled in keeping his secret, as I have always considered him as person not interested in elleths'.

'I see a cute expression of the child who noticed parents exchanging kisses on your face'- Valie smiled openly –' don't look at me at such manner, you know what I am talking about. Calanon pay attention to elleths as most men. He decided not to share his secrets with you and I will respect his decision'.

'Why to hide love? There is nothing to be ashamed'.

'You are young and don't understand how difficult situations may be, one day you may understand. Love of Calanon is pure in nature but his choice was far from fortunate.

Nimwen got her guesses but remained silent and decided to observe her former teacher with caution. There was no point to ask Varda any questions about mystery of Calanon. She kept secret of her friend safe and left Nimwen only with guessing. As for young elleth, she was mostly interested with dark haired poet and his soft lips. Being in love, she heard no warnings. She has recently become a Disciple and her dreams came true. Why not to believe in love and the happiness waiting for her? Nimwen was naïve enough not to consider warnings by Calanon, who judged Fëanor harsh. On the other hand, who knows he was one of the first elves to notice the threat caused by pride of Fëanor. There is nothing bad in feeling satisfaction from own works, but pride can be dangerous for others.

Elleth met Nerdanel soon after weird conversation. The daughter of Mahtan was less respected by her father, but was considered by others as talented, hardworking, resolute but cordial. The Disciples of Valar made small group, whose hierarchy resembled those among their mentors. Mahtan, definitely happy to see new Noldor among them, introduced Nimwen to his daughter. Calathiel welcomed Idhrenion warmly, as even in the group of Disciples the division for the elvish groups still existed. They were friendly to each other, but remember about their origins.

'My son likes you'- Nerdanel said looking at dark haired elleth.

'My feelings are the same'- Nimwen answered- 'Maglor is very talented elf and descended from the very talented family'- she smiled.

'Thank you'- Nerdanel answered – 'I am happy to see his friendship with Vanyar and not only. He is skilled in the poetry and one day may achieve the mastery. I don't know if you know, but my father keep saying that all elf may be a master in his own field'.

'I have never doubted in the wisdom of Mahtan'.

Xxxxxx

Nerdanel signed when reminded discussion with husband. After long and definitely intensive discussion she managed to convinced Fëanor not to talk to Melkor anymore and listened to none of his words. Elf was wise enough to distrust Melkor, but unfortunately spoke to him. Nerdanel doubted if brother of Manwë really redeemed after hearing words by husband. They share opinion about Melkor, but not about rest of Valar as Nerdanel had warmer feelings towards them. She arrived in Aman as a child and spend most of her childhood in the household of Aulë, thus considered any rebellion against him as the rebellion against family.

'Melkor is the serious threat and they release him from the prison. Valar want us to perceived them as the wisest but failed to notice the shadow almost in front of their eyes!' – Fëanor shouted.

'No, they don't'- she explained –'They are older and more experienced than we are, but blind faith is not among their wishes. Melkor spend his time in prison and had right to be set free, at least according to their laws'.

'I am aware of the laws and possible dangerous caused by them, but Valar simply refuse to notice threats. He was a shadow within, being as genius as dark hearted'.

'Don't listen to him my love, don't let him to poison your mind'- she asked.

'I share your concerns and showed him doors of my workshop. How is Maglor? I heard he was a winner of the poetic contests with Vanyar, my great, talented son'- he said –' I hope he is meeting other elleth than a little pet of Manwë'.

'What do you have against her? Why did you call her the craftsman daughter as if this was anything bad?'.

'I needed to say something and found such expression and worry consistent with feelings of others in the family'- he explained – 'I will accept, her if she was similar to you and work hard with her father or mother. But please, why to welcome in my household elleth whose definition of happiness is to sit as Ingwë under the throne of Manwë'.

'Please remember, you wanted Maglor to become one of Disciples'.

'It was the mistake, even if considered as the honor. I used to believe they chose the best for Disciples and teach them. I have recently learned that they preferred nice little pets who agreed with them always and feed their vanity'.

'Don't exaggerate, I am sure they have reasons to..'

'Yes they have, as I am the person to inform them about mistakes. Their decision is simply the demonstration'.

There was no use trying to convince Fëanor how wrong he was. Elf was getting more and more rebellious against Valar and questioned their intentions. It didn't take long for Nerdanel to realize that every spoken word was making another prove for him. Fëanor had little or even non trust in the words by Melkor and couldn't understand why his fellows granted him so much freedom. "They are either blinded fools or there is the hidden purpose of it"- he kept saying. His negative emotions grew stronger when Maglor came back rejected.

Nerdanel decided to speak with father-in-law, the only person Fëanor trusted with all his heart. Unfortunately for them all, Finwë has never criticized his firstborn. In his opinion the only way to help him dealing with the loss of his mother, was to let him do anything he wanted. "I am the only person who can take care of him, whereas Indis cares for other children"- it started really nasty comments.

'Did you make friends among Vanyar?'- Indis asked several questions interested in how Maglor lived among her kin – 'Did you win the poetry competition with the Disciple of Varda?'.

'We were equaled'- explained Maglor – 'Calanon the scholar failed to decide which one of us performed better. Idhrenion was really great I must admit'.

'Calanon is my old, great friend'- Indis explained – 'I have no doubt his judgment was impartial'.

'Because Maglor was refused victory he deserved '- Fëanor hissed – 'This Calanon behaved as typical follower of you'- he ended, looking at his step mother in the hostile look.

'You father keeps allowing you to behave in such manner, but I am fed up with your rudeness and accusations' – Indis hissed.

'Leave then' – Fëanor answered coldly – 'No one wants you here usurper. You sneaked into our house and took throne that belonged to my mother. It is said that Vanyar helps talented elves, but this is not true as your servant refused Maglor his victory'.

'Calanon is my friend as you know'- Indis hissed – 'I hear enough of your vicious words'.

The whole conversation turned into the argument. Nerdanel tried to calm everyone down, as she both loved her husband and have a lot of warm feelings for the queen of Noldor. Indis has been always friendly towards her and supported at her early beginnings at the royal court. Fëanor refused to give stepmother any single chance and never let her give him care and happiness he needed.

Nerdanel took a deep breath. She stopped trying to understand why Fëanor is treating Indis in such manner long time. There was no way to persuade him to change his attitude: as the most stubborn among elves he refused to change path once chosen. Nerdanel had will strong enough to convince him from time to time, but not when it came to siblings and stepmother. To make matters worse, he started to claim that Valar destroyed his childhood by giving his father permission to remarry. It was probably the moment Fëanor lost his faith in the Lords of the West.

When Finwë came, he took the side of his firstborn as usual. He was wise king capable to judge Noldor in the wise manner. Most of them called him "the wise king Finwë", but he remained helpless when it came to Fëanor. His love toward firstborn was blind and only few saw all potential problems to came out of it. Indis reacted angrily and argument started. They were shouting so loud that no eavesdropping was needed. "How Finwë is supposed to rule us if he failed to be a father of own family"- few Noldor started to ask. They made a small group then, but Vanyar were larger and more prominent. The vicious smirk on the lips of Fëanor scared Nerdanel.

Ladies in waiting to Indis went angry. Calathiel did much more, once heard the news about the whole argument. Poor Maglor was forced to hear Vanyar talking about his father in the very hostile way as they paid no attention to him. The only chance for him not to listen how bad, rude and awful Fëanor is was to stay close to Nimwen. Unfortunately, elleth tented to visit them from time to time as obviously got other daily duties. Maglor soon realized she was the only person capable to understand his feelings even if failed to believe how hostile Vanyar could become when she was away.

Xxxxxx

Maglor had a tough situation back then. He dwelled in the households on the stopes of Taninquentil. In most cases he truly enjoyed the company of Vanyar and took advantage of their knowledge in poetry and spirituality. Unfortunately for him, majority of them disliked Fëanor and it took years for Maglor to gain their friendship. Now, they started to speak against once more using Silmarils as the explanation. They really believed that Varda was the only person allowed to touch the light of the Two Trees, whereas others were to only look at. Fëanor took the light, which made the duty of the Queen of Valar and went angry. Maglor realized that his father started the whole conflict by his attitude towards Indis but Vanyar continued. They criticized everything Fëanor did or said.

'You must be irritated by the whole situation as Noldor'- he told Nimwen.

'I grew up among Vanyar and consider they as my kin'- she explained – 'It is true that I was born in Tirion, however made the great disappointment to my family. Now it better as I became a Disciple to Manwë' – she said wryly –'Please, you must understand that light is sacred for Vanyar'.

'But please, we are talking about my father!'

'I know he is and I really respect your loyalty as the son'- she nodded- 'I have never met prince Fëanor and preferred not to take sides. Vanyar are my close and very good friends'.

'But you are Noldo!' – he said.

'I was born in Tirion bur truly never fitted there '- she said –' I am indeed Noldo born in the family of craftsman. When I was a child my parents and siblings made several jokes about my clumsiness. Vanyar accepted me and appreciated my achievements for the first time. Indis is one of them and I believe both Calanon and other Vanyar couldn't accept how he treats her' – she explained.

'Even if, they have no right to refuse what he gave to other elves. My father may not be easy going, but he is the genius and created so much'.

Nimwen remained silent and only bite her lip. She understood Maglor nervous reaction towards hostility Vanyar showed when it came to Fëanor. Elleth guesses that Fëanor was probably a dominant father figure deeply loved by his son. Blood is the blood and made a strong bond, even if her relations with parents were cooler that relations by her siblings. She did her best to listen and comfort Maglor. Somewhere deep inside she felt lost.

In her opinion, the light of the Trees should belong to all inhabitants of Aman. Nimwen reacted to Fëanor actions different and more reserved than Vanyar. No one had ever tried to touch their light before, but nothing happened after all. The fascination by light Vanyar showed went definitely too far from time to time. Nimwen disagreed when they called Silmarils a blasphemy. She talked several times with Maglor in her desperate attempts to convince him that they reacted in the fierce manner not to Fëanor, but to the fact that he did what Varda was only supposed to do. Any such attempt would be a blasphemy to them.

Criticism by Calanon and Ingwë were loudest and most fierce. Many believed that Ingwë did what he did because he wanted to take revenge for the years of malicious comments. The intentions of Calanon were beyond doubts for other elves. Calathiel and ladies in waiting to Indis listened carefully to words by Calanon and took they chance to hit. They have little respect for the feelings of Maglor.

Nimwen met Ingwë several times, even if their meetings were far from being nice and friendly but rather very unyielding. The High King of Elves paid huge attention to the etiquette, cloths and all subtle gestures Nimwen got little knowledge about. She read few books about etiquette and rules of living in the court were not needed in the Ilmarin palace. Elleth didn't have to remember who to approach first and second, how to talk. Ingwë and his son on the other hand were obsessed about etiquette, which was unusual for Vanyar. Nimwen believed they had too much free time to spare and definitely failed to find any useful hobby. As the result, they started to develop all weird rules about behavior. Their robes were richly embroidered almost as much as those by princes of Noldor and there must be a fashion contest between them. Nimwen obviously liked beautiful robes, but preferred sheer, comfortable silky robes.

Ingwë seemed upset, when looking at her naked robes covered by the wrapper. He murmured few words sounded like "reckless, young ones" as if Nimwen wore nightgown. She chose robes resembled those by Queen, Ilmarë and other women from the palace and failed to understand why he was so upset. She asked no question perfectly aware no answer would be provided for her.

Nimwen looked at him for a moment. Ingwë seemed more reserved and sad when compared to other Vanyar. It might be the result of living alone. He was married, got son and group of the followers but tended to spend most of their time in own company. Nimwen heard about his hostile attitude towards Fëanor and understood him: Indis was his niece.

'Please keep in mind, that the royal grace is unstable and it is easy to lose it'- he warned- 'full of faith and young you are as I used to be'.

'I had no intention to make you upset king, was my actions bad?'- she asked.

'I don't like young elleths wearing robes without sleeves. Naughtiness of this type fits no one in fact. But let's leave that topic, I heard that the son of Fëanor is dwelling in households of my kin'- he said.

'Yes, Maglor is the great poet and found his place among Vanyar who are so skilled in the spirituality' – Nimwen explained – 'His knowledge increased as well as the knowledge by those who met him'.

'Maybe yes and maybe not'- Ingwë looked at her closely – 'Don't make any assumptions about this family. My niece believed in the love Finwë had for her. She was so sure about happiness awaiting them. Do you know how the story ended? Indis is living in the shadow of Miriel. Take my words and forget this poet unless you want to cry'.

Nimwen opened her mouths too astonished to answer. She exchanged passionate kisses and soft words with Maglor. They had a great time under the sky painted with stars and she told no one about her first love. She felt no shame, but preferred to wait and see how their relation is going to evolve. Moreover, who she was supposed to talk with? There was no sister or any other women around to talk to. Sister dwelt in Tirion too far away as for regular visits and gossips exchanged. Nimwen on the other hand couldn't leave the palace just by that, which seemed reasonable and normal.

In the meantime, she made her dreams about teaching and meeting scholars came true. Rumil, close friend of Mahtan as Nimwen learned, went excited to see other Noldo to became a Disciple. She was excited to be esteemed by those she respected heavily. Nimwen waited very long to be appreciated by others … maybe too long for her own good.

History became her favorite field long time ago and naturally she decided to teach this subject in particular. She had no other reason to made such a choice. Nimwen wanted to share knowledge with children and paid no attention to politics. Maglor used to see her from time to time which make her happy. She smiled and delicate, red flush creped into her face. The overall effect was pretty visible on the pale face. It was then, Nimwen realized the amount of her naiveté to hide emotions.

* * *

 **Author's note:** I've almost considered Finwe as the father who let his first-born son to do almost anything. This is my interpretation of the book. Moreover, we know he left his family, his throne and nation to follow Feanor at Formenos, which give subtle suggestion. In the real word, similar situations obviously occurred.


	7. Fruits of lies

'The tougher path is the better path for you, doesn't it?'

Nimwen needed some time to understand the real sense of words by mentor. She decided is not wise to start the guessing game without clues. To sit closed as he suggested seemed the best option to start with.

'I ..'- Nimwen knew her reaction is anticipated.

'You have no idea what I am talking about, don't you?'- elleth was sure to notice not-subtle-at all mockery – 'Let me give you a clue dear, son of Fëanor makes the horrible choice'.

'How do you?'- she opened her mouths too wide to look serious.

'My dear child, it is understandable that secret meetings might seem amusing for young elf, even if you decide on the cliché of starry night in the forest. This is not the way to keep such activities from me, but this is not the main point here. Beware of the incoming painful end of your pathway'.

'Why did you say so? '- she asked –'Maglor have told me that ..'

'I am sure you heard phrases women love to hear. Keep in mind that his father, Fëanor is more and more frustrated with our system. He wants to leave Aman and has already gathered group of followers'.

'Why does he want to leave? Elves are happy here in the Blessed Realm, not to forget about deadly shadows from Cuiviénen'

'You should refresh memory of your kin thanks to your history lessons. Don't forget please, that Fëanor and others consider the Middle-Earth as the place of endless adventures and possibilities and what is the most important, as the realm with the absolute power awaiting them'.

'I am not sure whether Avari and others will claim him as the Highest King of all. They have own kings and queens and no reason to believe long-separated tribes as the supreme'

'Will or won't this is not important now. You need to keep in mind that even if Maglor promised you love; father is the most important person in his life. I have always treated my duties seriously, thus I need to warn you, my Disciple'.

Nimwen was naïve enough not to even consider possible problems. The fact that Fëanor was getting more and more suspicious was a common knowledge. Silmarils enchanted almost everyone and made their creator paranoiac. Elleth however refused to believe in most of words by Vanyar. Fëanor had little love towards Indis and half-siblings, but there is no obligation to love every member of the family. Nimwen heard several gossips, nevertheless believed Vanyar overreacted. Calanon suggested to keep such opinions for herself and convinced elleth that Fëanor is the stranger, whereas Vanyar are friends. "He will not thank you, don't offend friends because of him". She nodded in the silence.

Now she almost protested, feeling unable just to agree. Nimwen was young and felt in love for the very first time, full of dreams and beliefs in the happiness to come. Elleth refused to believe such words, even if remained silent. She was wise and perceptive enough to realize when to finish discussion. She didn't node in agreement and remain silent.

'You see the deepest desires of your heart, as lovers do. I wish you happy memories of your first love Nimwen'.

'Am I overreacting or you don't approve my choice?'

'Treat my words as the warning please. Fëanor likes to be the best and prove his points at all occasions. He is undoubtedly upset with the fact I chose you over Maglor as my Disciple. Whatever plans you have in mind be careful and avoid thoughtless actions'

'I promise not to'- she said – 'I ..we … we exchanged kisses few times only and are talking a lot'.

'Even passionate kisses are not to cause problems'.

'I have no idea what you are talking about'

'You know what I want to tell you and keep my words in mind: beware of son of Fëanor and avoid thoughtless actions'.

Nimwen bite her lip several times. The whole conversation sounded weird and far from being comfortable. It was the duty of family to discuss the relationships' issues generally speaking and the overall situation made her more than unsure.

She came closer on his welcoming gesture. She felt care not anger in his voice, which only increased her overall expression of being lost. Nimwen hated feeling helpless and unsure as in the family house. The left Tirion and dwelt at Taninquentil to escape such feelings, that were her experience now. She came closer to her Protector, hoping facial expression is not childish.

'Please, help yourself with the wine, as wine is what we need now' – he ordered.

He was definitely true. Usually, she kept drinking wine to the dinner only but in that moment thanked for more than one glass. Elves were not sensitive to alcohol, but wine from Taninquentil affected them severely. After few glasses she felt dizzy.

'You don't like Fëanor, don't you?'- she stated not answered after the moment of silence.

'I have more than one reason to feel in that way. As the king I need to carry the heaviness of my duty to take care of inhabitants of Aman. Fëanor is talking a lot about opportunities and adventures, but seems not to care about his followers. I will force neither him nor anyone else to stay within my land, but not going to let elves to travel between the Blessed Realm and the Middle-Earth. He is free to leave but need to remember the consequences, I am afraid his father learned him nothing about them' – he said dryly.

Elleth realized that she has just heard only the part of the story. She immediately noticed that Vala was upset with prince of Noldor. Mahtan and Calanon told her about harsh reaction by Fëanor, when Finwë got permission to re-marry. "It was the adjudication of Manwë, that destroyed by childhood"- he kept saying and eventually turned into rebellion. She has never heard the relation of the other side.

"Finwë arrived in our household, begging us for permission to re-marry"- Nimwen realized discussion was going to be long – "Finwë spoke many times how much he wanted a family for his son. He was speaking numerous words of love and dream of home full of kid's laugh, the miracle to remain beyond our reach forever". She listened to his words carefully and realized how situation changed: Fëanor was getting harsher and harsher, whereas she became the other side. As for Maglor, Maglor was caught in the middle.

The extra caution was needed when spoke with elf. She told her mentor about her fascination with dark-haired hair, while discussing politics and words by Fëanor. Nimwen realized it was love as she kept smiling every time she mentioned Maglor. She spoke a lot about him, which made Calanon worried but not only Calanon. "Avoid thoughtless actions" – he repeated and then explained his words. He told her to came closer and whispered shocking words. Elleth almost escaped but he took her hand and forced to listen to the whole monologue. She opened and closed lips several times and eventually she flushed.

'I can assure you'- she experienced problems with talking – 'Maglor and I are friends and only exchanged kisses as nothing more is allowed for non-married elves'.

'Aye, you are not and will never be'- he explained dryly – 'Don't expect Fëanor to let his precious son to marry you, women who stole the grace from his son. Moreover, you belong to my household, the household of person who ruined his youth'.

Nimwen nodded, but remained silent. Her instinct suggested not to speak. The has never realized how many inhabitants of Aman knew about relations between sons of Finwë. She expected Teleri to know, but not anyone from Ilmarin. Eru knows who else listened… and how such knowledge might be used. Her mentor made it clear how poorly he appraised Fëanor, making reasonable points. "He is ambitious and hardworking, but care nothing about others. Mahtan and others noticed such behavior".

Elleth looked at her hands. Nimwen considered discussion with Maglor, warning about persons not as forgiving as Finwë when it came to actions by Fëanor. Maybe Fëanor was not aware of harsh reactions. Before she met Maglor and made friends with them, Nimwen had no interests in the royal family.

'Is Fëanor popular among Noldor you know?'

'My family has always considered him as talented and hardworking. I have heard he spent a significant amount of time with blacksmiths and jewelers, in the contrary to his brothers. Mahtan however, craftsman as many of us, has always been closer. My family and their friends has always respected him deeply' – she explained – 'some of us highly criticized Fëanor for his attitude towards queen and her children, but in most cases we pained no attention. One question has just come to my mind: why Fëanor wanted Maglor to become your Disciple if he has such a poor opinion about you?'.

'It is all about the prestige' – he explained – 'he is the kind of overachiever, desperate to be the best in every action. This is not the wrong attitude just by definition. Fëanor is consider as the greatest elf ever. I guess he believed, that there was no better candidate for the Disciple for us. Whatever reasons he had, you need to seek for other friends than Maglor. I hope it is clear now'.

It became clear. Her common sense suggested to listen, bur heart said no. Nimwen felt unsure if she would make a right and wise choice. This time it was not her choice to make. She made both Calanon and her current mentor cornered only for a while… lucky for her after all.

She heard that Fëanor spoke with Melkor more than once. She became concerned almost immediately and tried to talk with her mentor. Unfortunately, he refused to talk about his older brother, than concerned Nimwen. Elleth considered behavior of Melkor as suspicious and hated those brief moments of meeting. There was something in his eyes that made her scared, but Elder King saw no problem. "Do not listed to gossips"- he ordered. She listened to, perfectly aware that attempts to initialize discussion would only have made her mentor angry.

Xxxxxx

The relation of unknown nature with Maglor, was finished long before get chance to develop. The name "blasphemy" for his Silmarils accompanied by obvious desire in eyes of Melkor made Fëanor harsh and suspicious. He mistrusted the Dark Vala, but failed to get out of him. Other Valar allowed him to walk freely among elves. Fëanor noticed possible threat, but told his wife no one else even tried to see it. It was scandalous for Ingwë and several Vanyar to discuss with decisions and judgments by Valar. It was not clear, how many were actually so firm and how many repeated words by Ingwë exclusively due to dislike towards Fëanor.

When Fëanor learned more about new friends to Maglor, he went mad. He agreed to make friends with Vanyar and seek for allies within them. However, elf has never agreed to kiss the "palace pet" as he described elleth. Fëanor looked at Nimwen carefully during Festivals. She took her place behind the throne of Manwë, happy and cheerful as most Vanyar would be. "I am waiting to see her kneeling" – Fëanor murmured – "I don't want to know anything more about her, what kind of Noldo is she to behave as Vanyar?".

'Valar cannot stand anyone asking questions, nor those talented enough to become their equal. Maglor is the greatest poet among elves and should be chosen the Disciple if it was about teaching. My Silmarils proved them what we may achieve without them. To make matters worse I asked whether Melkor is indeed redeemed. They became furious and punish me by humiliating my son. This miserable creature has no talents beyond being sweet'

Nerdanel tried to calm her husband down. There was no need to shout. She noticed how talented Maglor was and wished him best, but has never considered sons as best among best in every field, but "only" very talented. Nerdanel wanted Maglor to became the Disciple, but found nothing suspicious in the rejection.

'Maglor..'- she started.

'I know he likes this miserable creature from unknown reasons'- answered Fëanor –' She is not the only elleth in Valinor, please remember. Maglor may meet other, more appropriate women. Do you remember daughter of the courtier to my father? Our son used to like her and I heard she is neither married nor engaged in any serious relationship. Let's arrange hunting for our family and friends!'

Nerdanel doubted but remained silent. There was no use to continue discussion with Fëanor, whereas Maglor should avoid any arguments. Waiting is the best option, waiting for Maglor. He was the person to decide. Nerdanel decided to do nothing unless son explain his feelings.

At the very first moment, Maglor protested. Eventually, he agreed as he was used to follow his father's wishes. "He is the greatest among elves. He cares for me and have never gave a bed advice"- he explained to Nerdanel. Elleth listened carefully and nodded. Maybe the hunting idea is not so bad, especially as Fëanor clearly dislikes the Disciple of Manwë. Another family argument was not at the top priorities.

Maglor sent a letter to Nimwen after the long discussion with father. He explained clearly that "their relationship has no future, as differences between their families are enormous". The hand of young elf trembled few times, however he continued. The will of Fëanor was the law, especially if their grandfather the kind has always supported his firstborn. Maglor realized there is no use to stand against everyone. He explained to Nerdanel that his behavior towards Nimwen was bad. Unfortunately, the reluctance Vanyar had towards his father was impossible to change. To make matters worse, young elleth behaved and dressed like Vanya not Noldo. This manner caused great anger in Fëanor as he disliked Vanyar as self-obsessed and pompous.

The Vanyar- Fëanor reluctance was both strong and mutual. Maglor felt tired. Even if he proved his poetic talents and even found friends among them, the true acceptance was possible only if he tuned Fëanor out. Elf would never leave his family no matter for what cause. His attitude resulted in few arguments with Nimwen, who preferred Vanyar to her kins in Tirion. Only the intervention by Fëanor prevented the painful argument.

'My son, she doesn't fit us' – he explained – 'I don't care whether her father is the scholar, craftsman or courtier, as long as we all have something in common. In the best case scenario, you are with elleth from our sphere, nevertheless I have nothing against daughter of hard working craftsman as long as she is hardworking as well. Believe me, that harsh and fast farewell makes the least painful solution sometimes'.

Nimwen froze when reading a letter by Maglor. She suspected no bad news from the letter, but rather new piece of the poetry or maybe the plea for advice. From time to time he asked if she liked his writings. This time he wrote about different matter in a such brutal manner, then she failed to stop crying. She was crying for long, dark hours desperately trying to understand what she did to deserve such treatment. If Maglor became upset because of her words or actions why nothing was sad? Someone took shaking elleth from the Library and she noticed nothing.

Soon after this unusual breaking, Nimwen agreed with Calanon and other Vanyar opinions about Fëanor. After long hours of crying and shaking no time or will was left to protest. She nodded every time her mentor told something about royal son. Before Maglor did to her what he did, Nimwen believed inhabitants of Taninquentil to be too harsh. On the other hand it is not possible for so many to be wrong.

She needed some time to calm down and made the next step. She suffered as every woman in her situation, in hard work looking for a cure for the broken heart. Old scrolls and books helped to control emotion and reaction. For the careful observed as Calanon it didn't take long to realize something bad happened. He noticed sad face of his former student and persuaded her to talk. Calanon nodded when heard the story but felt bad about Nimwen. 'It is less painful now'- he said silently.

'I am sorry to tell you this, but you got the point'- he said hugging her – 'Fëanor cares for no one except himself and definitely passed this manner to his sons. Don't cry after elf, who rejected you so easily'.

Nimwen felt too weak to even attempt to argue. She had tried at the very beginning, but Calanon and other persuaded her to stop. All of them showed support and anger on Maglor and Fëanor. Their opinion about Prince of Noldor was negative and after some time Nimwen realized they might be right.

'My Disciple should not cry because of elf who found no courage in own hear to inform her about plans'- said her mentor coolly – 'Pay attention to those who care for you and support in his actions, not him'.

After some time, she agreed with his words, even at the very beginning Nimwen needed compassion not words of wisdom. Elleth got all she needed as her noble mentor talk to her gently and never show anger when she was crying from the broken heart. He talked with young elleth and hugged her from time to time. Nimwen needed the last gesture more than any words.

She chewed her lips and needed a lot of strength to control emotions, when her sister shared the newest gossips. The royal family, including Maglor, went for hunting. Maglor was seen in the company of the beautiful daughter of the courtier. When the time of the annual Festival came, he danced with the same elleth. Nimwen pressed her hands watching the short memory of her first love. They were not suited as he has written: he was a prince whereas she … was a daughter of the commoner: she got no other interpretation. Never before Nimwen considered her social status as low. Her parents and siblings were hard working and honest elves. Elleth found no real understanding in the family, but even though deserved no bad treatment. It was then when Nimwen realized that social structure of Noldor was different than Vanyar, different as talents, hard-word were less important than origin. The truth lied somewhere else, but Nimwen was sad enough to listen to all hostile words about Fëanor. Elleth found no reason to argue her friends.

Shortly after she heard that Maglor wedded unknown elleth. The whole ceremony was described by sister as beautiful and splendorous. Fëanor ornamented his head with his Silmarils, which had become unusual some time ago when Prince of Noldor became more paranoid. The message was obvious: marriage between Maglor and "beautiful and appropriate maiden" was important for him. Nimwen realized she was not the appropriate and her feelings towards Fëanor went down. No one made attempts to stop her.

She observed Fëanor during Festival and other important celebrations. Nimwen noticed that elf was becoming more and more reserved and separated from everyone but father, wife and sons. He didn't even attempt to speak with siblings. Previously all children of Finwë at least pretend to show normal, loving relations in the public. They believed the role of the royal family is to be the example for others. Recently they stopped, whereas cold relations between Fëanor and Fingolfin became a kind of official state. It strengthened the existing divisions between Noldor, divisions originated when king remarried.

Nimwen did much more than only crying over her love disappointment. She was observing carefully other elves, including queen Indis. Indis seemed annoyed by the fact that Finwë took his place close to Fëanor, far too away from other children. King and queen argued loudly and whole Tirion got new theme for gossips. Nimwen felt relieved in the cruel way that relation ended up fast enough to avoid unhappy marriage. Her problems however were about to begin.

Xxxxxx

Some believed that Silmarils blinded both mind and eyes, provoking dark thoughts in his owner. "Is it possible that Melkor was careless enough to tell me the truth about desires of others? He is speaking more than others and who knows where the truth lies?" - Fëanor kept asking himself. After some time, he became sure full of paranoia and pride. He started to believe that his father might change the law of succession for Fingolfin, the oldest son of Indis. Many suggested such possibility and Fëanor got no idea they were fooled or bribed by the Dark Vala. Melkor was sending his servants to listen to and inspire gossips. Who knowns, maybe Dark One as the first realized the power of gossip and used it as the weapon?

In that times no one associated Melkor with dangerous words even if relations between Fëanor and his siblings had been tough long time ago. It all resembled tinderbox, whereas Melkor took the role of torch. As the results, Fëanor started to walk with weapon openly, every time he left home. It started commentaries and doubts. Prince had reason to behave like that as he started to fear of disownment when his brother was born.

Courtiers unfriendly toward Fëanor was whispering really loudly and started to question Fëanor's successions openly. The second son of king seemed calmer and controlled, friendlier towards both courtiers and elf from Tirion. It was not the truth but truth believed by many. The coldness between Fingolfin and Fëanor grower up as well as reserved attitude by Fëanor.

'They keep whispering'- he tattled to Nerdanel – 'I can hear them talking in Fingolfin's favor'.

'Maybe they simply like him. You have your friends, whereas he has his own. It is not weird that his friends are wishing him best ' – Nerdanel stated – 'You have become reserved recently. My father told me several me not to lose contacts with others. He warned us against the power of words'.

'We all know Mahtan is the best as the favorite of Valar'.

Nerdanel chewed her lips and answered harshly. She had no intentions to listen peacefully harsh words and mockery of her father. Mahtan did nothing to deserve such aggression. When relations between father and son-in-law became worse? They used to respect each other and Fëanor seemed grateful for teachings.

They spoke too much harsh words to each other. None of them were calm and eager to surrender. As the results, Nerdanel went for a long walk, but not to her father's house as Fëanor suspected. Mahtan visited son-in-law worried an concerned after hearing news about possible change in rules of inheritance accompanied by stories about arguments between Fingolfin and Fëanor. The blacksmith decided to ask instead of simply listening to gossips. It was then when Nerdanel informed him about the whole conversation with husband.

Mahtan went angry. Everyone knew how much he loves his only daughter. Before Nerdanel get married it was said he chase young elves with the hammer. It was nothing but the tale, but Mahtan was caring for Nerdanel. No one, even son of king, was permitted to shout at her.

'My son, you need to calm yourself down'- said Finwë after argument between Fëanor and Nerdanel – 'Mahtan came to me mad at you. He spoke harsh about your words and actions'.

I am a prince and he has no right to behave in such manner'- Fëanor tightened his teeth.

'He is the Disciple to Aulë, highly respected in our society. You can't just shout at him and accused him and others without proves'.

'They all desired by Silmarils: elves, Valar, plotting to get my Jewels'- he explained angrily- 'I need to leave this … prison. I am not the only elf suffocating in the golden cage we were given. There is not time to lose'.

'Son'- Finwë said, trying to recall when Fëanor became so harsh – 'If your intention is indeed to leave the Undying Lands, do not start your request with accusation. We need to came up with the wise strategy'.

Words by Finwë were reasonable and strong enough to convince Fëanor in most cases. Originally, he listened to his father and calmed down. Unfortunately for all, once again prince heard the gossips that brother might claim his legacy. One other violent action took place, resulting with the great anger of Fëanor. He took his sword and decided to be behave in the justify manner. Other called his behavior "the attack without any reason".

He hunted down the bloody traitor. He saw him talking with his followers in the main street of the city full of terraces and went agree. The remaining self-control was lost and he run to his unloved half-sibling, saying his words and frustrations violently. Witnesses were scared by such behavior by prince, but remained silent.

News travelled around Valinor quickly. Most elves, except for the group of Noldor, condemned actions by Fëanor. It was not the right way for the inhabitant of Aman to express feelings in such manner. Teleri seemed concerned, whereas Vanyar went furious. Ingwë gave reasonable comment, saying that: "This is wrong. We are not drunk savages to threat other elf, especially our relative with sword". Gossips and harsh commentaries spread around Tirion.

It didn't take long for Valar to hear the news. They went angry soon after that and called Fëanor for hearing to the Ring of Doom. The Maiar send by Manwë were informed to bring elf with them and to pay no attention whether he was willing to go or not. They also requested Disciples to be witnesses, to make their dissatisfaction clearer. The public interrogation was supposed to be harsh.


	8. The interrogation and its consequences

Nimwen has never seen her mentor so angry, since she dwelt in the Ilmarin palace. The reaction by Idhrenion was similar and mixed with shock. Both of them couldn't even think about elf attacking other elf. Fëanor broke several unspoken rules of social live, when he had attached his brother. Their ancestors were pleased with the no violence and safety offer added to the invitation to Aman. Here elves became free of any threats from Utummo and needed no weapon to be forged. No enemies or nasty creatures dwelled there, the distant Middle-Earth was the place where shadows kidnapped lonely elves. Nimwen read several reports in books and scrolls and went frightened by terrible stories.

Two Disciples had no doubts how serious the whole situation was when had heard order to walk towards the Ring of Doom. They were given the order not the request. Nimwen covered her arms with wrap and went towards place rarely visited by elves. Short-sleeved dress seemed inappropriate for such place. Even Disciples refused to walk around, as thrones standing in the perfect circle made them scared.

Angry Eonwë showed them the way. Nimwen and Idhrenion nodded their heads, while listening to words by Maia. None of them got any clue why Fëanor attached his own brother, but were perfectly aware of the seriousness of the whole situation that ended up with the formal, public hearing. Valar talked openly in the Ring of Doom in the unique situations. Maybe they wanted to condemned actions by Fëanor in public, which made Nimwen concerned. Mahtan explained possible problems to Nimwen, who managed to work on her unhappy love story with Maglor. She felt anger neither towards him or his wife and blamed solely Fëanor for the sad ending. After hearing numerous arguments by Calanon and Idhrenion she considered prince as the person to blame. He touched the sacred light of Two Trees and committed terrible crime according to Vanyar. Elleth reacted with more reserve, but hated Fëanor because of personal reasons.

Nimwen forgot arguments for and against prince of Noldor, when they reached their destination. She felt uneasy in the chamber so different from households of both elves and Valar. The simple, slender columns made the weird looking roof. The simplicity deprived of any paintings or crafting made the place special. High thrones made of stone and placed in the circle seemed very uncomfortably to sit. Whoever stood in the middle was observed from all directions at once, which made person even scared. On the rare occasions non-Valar guests were permitted to stand outside the circle, behind thrones. That day Disciples were asked to follow. Nimwen noticed other elves as surprised as she was. No one from the outside words were able to hear a single word, as protective spells transformed the Ring of Doom into its own dimension separated from the surroundings. No living creature could leave without permission by Manwë.

Elleth noticed Mahtan, who nodded head and smiled friendly. The blacksmith remained calmer and more controlled, definitely more used to the Ring of Doom than Nimwen or Idhrenion. Eonwë showed her the place to stand, whereas Mahtan found the throne by Aulë. Calathiel joined them soon looking worried and located the seat of Yavanna. The whole place: thrones made by stone and simple columns made every visitor uneasy. Nimwen realized that every of Valar had own seat, dependent on the rank. The greatest and most astonishing of them belonged to Kind and Queen of them all. Idhrenion seemed moved, but not as scared as Nimwen.

The first of Valar arrived soon after. Those married were holding their hands, with Aulë and Yavanna being the first. Mandos and Vairë joined them soon after, followed by Irmo and Estë and their Disciples. Nesseldë was speaking with her mentor, probably discussing the newest events. Eonwë informed both Nimwen and Idhrenion, who keep observing newcomers. Two elves holding their hands followed Nienna. According to Nesseldë they were married and dwelt with their sad and serious mentor in her Halls, quite aware of the most recent events.

King and Queen were the last to arrive with a slightly different forms than usual. They looked almost the same, but the aura of power and dignity seemed stronger, with more pompous and richer clothes than usual. Deep blue symbolized domain co-ruled by them. In long gowns they seemed more serious than elves wearing similar clothes, especially when wearing richly decorated, radiant-shaped crowns. To make effect stringer, they hide emotions when greeted those who arrived earlier. They smiled seeing other Valar accompanied by Disciples, but became cold and reserved then took place on thrones. When greetings were over, all fourteen Valar waited in silence for the interrogation. "It is the show time" – Nimwen murmured.

Day supposed to be long, as Fëanor was called to speak about most recent events. Eonwë introduced those summoned talking with his coldest and emotionless voice. Fëanor and Fingolfin were accompanied by their entourage and witnesses. Witnesses answered questions before, but the verdicts were to be told in public. Elves needed to remember that Finwë was ruling the city but not the whole country. Fëanor would be upset taking into account his pride, which made Nimwen worried. How proud prince was going to react on the public humiliation?

'My Lord'- voice of Eonwë seemed astonished – 'king of Noldor will to participate in the process. He explained his plea by position of the king and father to Fëanor'

'Parents are allowed to participate in the interrogation as witnesses and have the right to observe only' - Manwë explained in the deep, melodious voice but in the meantime as cold as northern wind.

Finwë entered the Ring of Doom few minutes later. Noble and elegant in his dark robes he looked worried and sad. Curious Nimwen caught his eye and realized king needed to be sad to hear about argument between his two sons. He spoke to Fëanor and comforted him, but Fingolfin got much less attention. Neither Nimwen nor anyone else missed the fact.

Elleth looked at other Disciples. Elves were standing still in the statue like manner, the only way for them to controlled emotions. Valar demanded such behavior in public. None of them show any compassion towards Finwë. Calathiel informed other Disciples how king weighted Fëanor in favor of other children. Indis and Nerdanel shared many stories with her and Disciples, as most elves, believed parents should love kids equally. Moreover, Calanon convinced them that it was not right to put the light of Two Trees in the shape of Jewels. The way Fëanor criticized Valar and political system of Valinor made them angry.

'Explain yourself Fëanor'- voice of Manwë became even colder than before, with no trace of usual kindness – 'I bet you have an important reason prince to start argument fitting rather dungeons of Utummo than center of the city from my land'

'Thief was given his reward' – Fëanor explained harshly – 'I made no usage of my sword, but only explained the whole situation'.

'This is the serious accusation. Do you have any proofs? Did he take anything from you? – it was the calming hand by Varda that helped Manwë to control his emotions and prevent from throwing elf away.

'My heritage is what he desired. He desired my royal position and my Silmarills. Everyone wanted my Jewels and he …'

'Let me summarize. You attached own brother because you _believed_ your father planned to change the order of succession? He has right to do so. Moreover, you consider everyone as potential thief when it comes to your Jewels?'- Manwë asked in calmer manner.

'May I say something, Lord?'- asked Finwë in most polite manner, as he was aware Valar were angry. He continued only when noticed sign – 'I have no intentions to change anything in the succession. Fëanor is my heir according to rules and customs written before my kin arrived at the shores of Aman. We used to make our firstborn kids hers and I have no intentions to alter ancient rules '- he assured.

'It seems that you attached your brother without even bothering to discuss the matter with your father'- the voice of Mandos was deadly cold – 'Where did you get such information?'

'I received several warnings'- Fëanor explained- 'Myself and my words are subject of jealousy by others, which I am perfectly aware of'.

'You listened to gossips from unknown source, without even thinking about authors and their goals. Now it is the time when you apologize brother for inappropriate behavior' – Mandos continued with the same, cold voice.

Fëanor would protest if his father weren't standing close. Finwë managed to hide any possible emotions of fear and disappointment caused by his son behavior. King of Noldor was wise and experienced enough to realized how serious the whole situation became. Every word and gesture by Valar proved their irritation and anger caused by Fëanor. Finwë had excellent memory and never forgot ancient threats and shadows from Cuiviénen. As most important, he knew limits to his power: he ruled Noldor and Tirion but rulers of the whole land were sitting around. To make matters worse, they considered behavior by Fëanor as attempt to get what was not his. Finwë knew his son and helped him to control his temper enough to tell about weird words and dangerous suggestions by Melkor. He explained what happened and managed not to start accusations.

At the end, Finwë made a peaceful gesture towards King and Queen and then poked his son. Fëanor has always listened to his father, father who was probably the only person he truly and deeply loved. At least loved in the different manner than wife and sons. The plea in his father's eyes was enough to fulfill the wish, even the hardest one.

'Forgive me brother, as the evil force used my love and fears against me. Forgive me my actions, as I should have listened to my kin first not to stranger. Melkor was so persuasive'- Fëanor said.

'I wish to believe your words brother. I hope you manage to understand your mistake' – Fingolfin answered perfectly aware how brother is suffering. Valar made him to apologize in public, not only in the presence of their father but witnesses as well. Punishment was severe and touched Fëanor's pride deeply.

Nimwen observed carefully sons of Finwë. Words by Fingolfin were clear even without years of training by Vanyar: he expressed his grief and anger in the subtle way. Mother would be excited to hear about the whole hearing. Nimwen was sure her goal was to informs as many elves as possible. She got the direct order to arrive by her mentor. He definitely wanted to condemn behavior by Fëanor and later send message around. Nimwen hoped news would be appropriately understood. Elleth felt no compassion towards prince of Noldor; felt rather joy seeing him publicly humiliated.

'I am satisfied that argument ended up with the way appropriate for High Elves living in my land. Suh behavior is not to be tolerated and need to be punished even if words of apologize made the punishment less severe. Fëanor, the Noldo, you are to spend coming years at the exile in the Formenos. Let this time help you to learn how to control words and temper of you. You are free to take any goods and company with you, but if you attempt to leave Formenos earlier, my next judgment will not be as merciful' – Manwë warned.

Fëanor clenched his tooth angrily. Elf tried to say something definitely unpleasant but poke by his father calmed his down. He took deep breath and leave in a rush as if the pack of hungry beasts were after him. His cheeks were red after public humiliation. Valar made him to apologize his useless brother Fingolfin, son of his bloody stepmother and had a fun looking at him. If he had any doubts whether to start rebellion against them, none were left. He was the greatest craftsman and scholar among elves. The royal son was treated as ordinary elf and made to apologize in the presence of servants.

He glanced at elves standing behind thrones. He smirked when noticed Idhrenion standing next to Varda. Who needed such useless rhymesters? Maybe he got talents to impress Queen, by writing poems about her. Then Fëanor glimpsed at Nimwen who robbed his son from the position and honors. "I can't see any talents in her, except for ability to fawn as the cat"- he murmured angrily.

Nimwen trembled seeing fire in eyes of Fëanor. She also noticed something dark and dangerous inside and needed few moments to calm herself down. No one could hurt her where they were all standing. She saw the pure hate in eyes of elf she has never meet in person. Nimwen missed soft and somehow apologizing look by Finwë. King knew it was a terrible idea to thereat or upset Disciples of Valar in the presence of their mentors. Meeting was almost over and few already left. Those of Valar who came with elves were talking to them, definitely to ask them to inform other elves about the situation. Nimwen and Idhrenion noticed the sign to come closer as well.

'Have you noticed his temper? Who does he consider himself?- asked Idhrenion.

'The greatest creation of Arda I guess'- Varda answered – 'I hope the exile to Formenos will remind him, that laws are to obeyed by everyone, even royals. How it all ended up in such a disaster? Finwë has always been so wise as Miriel gentle and their offspring is so brutal and violent. I can still remember the sadness by Vairë, when Miriel left her household to marry Finwë. The wedding gown was the last gift'.

'The gift of the great misfortune. Who knows, if Miriel was stronger she would raise her son as more reasonable. When elves came to our land at the very first time, they seemed young and hungry for wisdom. Why we ended up fighting against those we tried to protect?'- voice of Manwë seemed sad.

'Many among elves forgot'- Nimwen said – 'I am teaching elfings about shadows from Cuiviénen, unfortunately happiness and bliss erase memories of their parents. They did not understand, whereas pride of Fëanor is a serious threat'.

'Then, you should teach both children and parents as well'.

'As you wish'- she nodded.

Disciples were told to come back home once the conversation was finished. Valar decided to interrogate and punish Fëanor in public as he attached his brother in public. His actions were public then punishment needed to be the same. No elf in the Blessing Realm should consider threatening anyone with the sword as the appropriate behavior.

Manwë ordered to seek for and capture Melkor, whose name were spoken several times during the interrogation. He was to answer questions without witnesses. Melkor disappeared from his house and Valinor as well. This was a dangerous sign as Melkor was far from been calm and covenantal.

Xxxx

Actions by Fëanor inspired vivid discussions among inhabitants of Ilmarin palace. At the very beginning, Varda openly regretted blessing Silmarills. Nimwen and others who listened were shocked by words by Queen. All speeches and words by elf were reminded. Will to travel to the Middle-Earth was not a crime, but to use weapon against elf was. Fëanor read several old scrolls and talked with father often enough to realize that Valar invited elves to their land, but never said it was forbidden to leave the Blessing Realm.

'Does he really believe we have hidden treasures of any kind in distant lands?' – Ilmarë asked – 'He definitely forget what monsters from Utummo did elves. Finwë should inform him how wounded and destroyed bodies of victims was. Elves once saw it with own eyes'.

'Fëanor is seeing no danger, but the land easy to conquer when it comes to the Middle-Earth'- Varda continued – 'He makes no secret from his desire to rule'.

'We will become tyrants, if use force to stop him. We offered shelter to elves, but we can't force them to accept invitation. There is no way to get trust by force, but force can be used to make sure everyone follows rules. Nimwen, can you inform us about feelings of other Noldor?'

'I am worried, that the most recent events will only make divisions severer '- she said –' The second marriage of king Finwë was highly commented, but we remained united. Unfortunately, Fëanor refused to accept stepmother and divisions arrived. As for the present situation, I have heard many craftsmen I know consider Fingolfin as the better ruler than his father. Mahtan condemned Fëanor in public and openly regret any teaching given to him. He said that it is more than bad to use his expertise to forge weapons. Mahtan is highly respected in Tirion and I have no doubts many will listen to his words. I am satisfied and have a deep trust in his wisdom and common sense. I wish to help him, to advice ..'

'Please act as you believe is right' – she almost jumped after hearing clear encouragement.

'I think history lessons and reminder of Utummo, will calm down emotions '- she continued – 'Now I plan mostly to enjoy my sister's wedding'.

He was wearing the coat on the gown when entered Tirion. She walked fast, trying to reach home as soon as possible without speaking to strangers. Her gown would definitely attract attention, but she had no other cloths. It was obvious for her to follow rules of the new house, even if rules seemed weird. She wanted to talk to her family, simply curious how they lived their lives. She felt no longing as nothing divided them, but became curious to see sister in her wedding day. Mother definitely became nervous as every elleth in such situation. When her brother, the oldest sibling, get married father fled home. Now time for her sister came and Nimwen prayed no one was going to discuss marital plans with her. She has reached the appropriate age long time ago, but had no intention to marry, not time. She was spending her time mostly in the Library and on teaching elfings. Her schedule was too tight for romantic activities of any kind.

Family house was built in the suburbia and highly rebuilt recently. More and more guests were visiting parents which helped father's and brother's interests heavily. They decided to upgrade family mansions and made it bigger, but felt no desire to move. Suburbia area were calm and quiet, full of atmosphere required for their works. Tirion was a busy city back then. Small, open space made the center part of the building. Green grass covered the grounds, whereas trees provided shadow. Small pond, almost covered by water lilies, occupied the middle. Nimwen missed inner garden in the Vanyarian households and became excited to see the pond in her chambers. She was very grateful.

Elleth heard loud voices before entering the building. She recognized excited sister and nervous mother when came closer. She smiled happily. Weddings always provoked emotions: Nimwen received invitations to few ceremonies and remember atmosphere. It most cases it meant to promise love till death, which means eternity for elves. She nodded to Calanon and opened the door.

Someone hugged her heavily once she had made few steps. Brother was so excited to welcome his youngest sister that she hardly managed to breath. He has been impulsive for many years and now all of them had excuse for celebration. It was difficult to state when they talked last time, as she barely visited Tirion, more interested in the Library or discussions with Calanon and other Vanyar. She barely left palace from reasons other than teaching duties and even if did so, walked among households of elves of the light. Why to walk outside Taninquentil?

'Put me down, or I will break the bottle'- she explained.

'Do you take Valarian wine with you?'- he asked astonished to see rare drink.

'Of course, we have a wedding to celebrate, don't we?'

Mother and sister arrived soon after and greeted her cheerfully. All family members tried to hug Nimwen, but remained calmer when she told about the wine. It was funny and to old room is even more amusing. It was a sentimental attitude, but Nimwen felt fine with it. Sister squealed when noticed the gift. Silk made wrap was shining in the presence of even little of light, making everyone spirited in look while wearing. Every elleth would be excited to have so elegant piece of clothing.

'This is the gift for you. I don't know if it fits more wrap or the veil' – Nimwen explained.

'Will try both, ok thank you very much! You have no idea how stressed I become because of incoming wedding'.

'I am sure everything will be fine. You are deep in love with him, there is no need to be scared'- Nimwen assured.

She noticed how careful her gown and jewelry were assessed. Mother would definitely share her thoughts with female friends. Father and brother made use of the attention caught by Nimwen, the same did mother. They worked hard but also realized having Disciple in the family is beneficial for interests.

Xxxxx

Guests and clients showed high interests in their household. Father was more than happy to share news with Nimwen. Family house became the open house due to large groups of guests. Mother bravery took responsibilities of the host of such place as ladies-in-waiting needed to do. During years she made friends with craftsmen but also scholars and artists not welcomed at the royal court. They behaved in the same way as Mahtan, their definite inspiration, and gathered a group of elves around making use of youngest daughter status. They encourage elfings to train skills and seek for the mastery in the selected field.

One of guests were special. Nimwen recognized him in the minute as any other elf would do. Mahtan looked very characteristic with his beard: the only elf in Valinor with the beard. His small, well-groomed growth made him special and handsome. He grew his beard to became more similar to his mentor Aulë and effect was spectacular. He resembled prince of elves, or at least one of nobles, in his golden sweatband and could be definitely attractive.

'You seem worried my friend'- father greeted him with traditional gesture.

'Is it so visible my friend? I have no doubts that the whole city knows about my problems. Your daughter is getting married tomorrow, but we need to talk' – Mahtan explained.

'You are always welcome in our household. Please let me ask wife to bring refreshments. My youngest and other friend of mine is here. This is the happy day with home full of guests'.

Nimwen blinked not sure what happened. She doubted if new metal or teachings were the subject of the conversation. Her forging knowledge were less than limited but even though, gestures observed suggested different business. She had no idea about meetings Mahtan had with other Noldorian craftsman. The well-known blacksmith tried to understood reaction caused by Fëanor's behavior. He became their guide and counselor not only in his own, trained field which was really planned.

'I am more than happy to be a part of such happy event in my friend's household' – Mahtan explained. Nimwen was sure the visit had its purpose.

She took a place near Calanon in their central garden. This place was among her favorite in the family's household. It was there when parents had let her to play under one of the trees, even when they had had guests. Parents used to allow kids to participate in every meeting as long as silence was kept. "This is the right attitude. I will raise my kids in the same manner" – Nimwen thought. She had no intention to got married soon, nor she found possible husband-to-be, but considered option as possible.

Following Noldorian customs, she stood up when guests arrived. Calanon followed her steps. Red-haired blacksmith was far from being usual, Nimwen knew it and looked at him carefully. He was tall, well-shaped and handsome elf so different than most men she met. Being physically fit was low on the priority list, as they had no enemies in the Blessing Realm. When Mahtan walked down streets of Tirion, he caught attention similar to attention Nimwen attracted in her gowns.

'It is my great pleasure to welcome you, Master Mahtan, in my father's house'- she welcomed him.

'I am thrilled to meet the great scholar of Noldor'- he answered in the same manner –'It is the happy house indeed'.

'Calanon, my friend the day you entered my household is the happy day. Two of my friends decided to visit me to day. What a perfect day'- the host welcomed Calanon by the traditional gesture.

When greetings were finished, they took places of benches located closed to lily pond. Nimwen exchanged looks with Calanon. Bothe elves were sure visit was far from being ordinary. Few minutes later mother went with wine and appetizers and left after exchanging welcomes. Nimwen remembered parents usually took guests in together. In rare occasions, as typical ladies meeting with wine and embroidery, they separated their ways. Elleth had no idea what type of male conversation she was invited for.

The whole situation had its inner, hidden goal – she had no doubt. Nimwen were young according to standard of elves, but well educated and experienced. She knew that social meetings had more goals than wine and discussions. Nimwen learned that political groups or clubs were introduced and founded during such meetings. Recently, craftsmen from the selected fields gathered and made special guilds concentrated on training and cooperation. Nimwen guessed Mahtan planned to introduce father to his guild. But why did they ask for her, scholar of the legendary clumsiness? The phrase "delicate hand of the scholar" was not a complement of any sort.

'The situation is getting serious'- Mahtan said - 'when my _son-in-law'_ – he almost split the last word out –'was exiled for his arrogant and scandalous behavior towards own brother. This was only the beginning'.

'Are suggesting more troubles to come?'- father asked – 'Fëanor may calm himself down when live far from Tirion'.

'It is not possible anymore '- Calanon said –'I am afraid it is already too late to apply standard methods on this elf. What is he planning?'.

'You are not alone with doubts, Master Calanon'- Nimwen interjected –'I.. have seen him and his eyes full of the wild flame. I witnessed the process and still feel anxiety of what could have happened if his father was not standing nearby. King Finwë persuaded him to listen to the judgement by Valar but Fëanor himself ..'

'I guess were more about argue about principles of power than listen to'- Calanon finished the sentence –'Who does he think he is?'

'The greatest creation of Arda'- Nimwen explained –'this is the opinion of .. many'.

'What was your business on the Fëanor's interrogation?'- father asked.

'It was a kind of public event' – elleth explained –'all witnesses were asked to arrive in the Ring of Doom. The same order applied to Disciples. I was standing near.. from my place the view was excellent. When I saw Fëanor, I became scared'.

'He was forced to apologize in public his brother he has no love for'- Mahtan said –' It was a severe punishment. Believe me, I know my son-in-law and he suffered terribly'- he continued –'If Manwë beat him to a pulp which Fëanor perfectly deserved, it would be less painful for him than the public judgement. When he was back in palace, he was flaming in anger and cursed the whole world around. He eventually left towards Formenos, accompanied by Finwë and large group of followers'.

'Our king left his people and family to follow the rebellious one?!'- Nimwen stood up to express her anger –'He is responsible for us all. The crown comes from both responsibilities and not privileges alone'

She heard the phrase about responsibilities and privileges often. Her mentor wanted to be sure she realized the simple truth. Every time they spoke, in most cases on one of terraces with the wonderful view, she was taught not only how to listen and summon winds. He wanted her to see how difficult and responsible task of governing was. Nimwen was also encouraged to observe the way kinds of Teleri, Noldor and Vanyar rule and express her opinion. Back then, she had no idea if he considered Finwë or Olwë as the better king.

She was regular reminded about power hidden behind the knowledge, the history in particular. She might have influence on others. " _Knowledge is the power. It enables us to go forward and avoid past mistakes. Elves are wise to respect scholars_ ". Nimwen needed no additional encouragement to continue studies on laws and history. She realized all their discussions concerning power and responsibilities were to teach her. Now, while she was standing near Mahtan, she recalled all long discussion and points mentioned. Nimwen repeated known words naturally, as she strongly believed in them. She considered king as the father of the nation. Her opinions and judgments were strongly inspired by her mentor, which later gave her label of the follower unable to think independently.

'Many of Noldor share you feelings'- Mahtan nodded and smiled –'your opinion makes me happy as the whole city went excited. You can only guess the newest gossips'- he continued –'some Noldor consider judgement by Manwë as too harsh and unjust. Those already followed or plan to follow Fëanor to Formenos. Others, thank Eru large group, believed Finwë's place is with nation, wife and other children. They felt rejected and betrayed. Such feelings are dangerous'.

Mahtan explained the most current situation within Tirion. Nimwen listened carefully and realized the degree of her own ignorance. She had lived outside Noldorian households so long, that no longer understood terrible emotions between sons of Finwë. She heard rumors and listened to the winds, but nothing prepared her for the fact that two princes from the Blessing Realm can fight using weapons. Neither she was prepared to see "the wise king Finwë" as he was called often, might leave them all and follow rebellious son into the exile. To make matters worse he openly spoke against the judgement by Valar as harsh and unjust. He must be a bad father to love only his firstborn son. Elleth remained silent not sure how to react and what to say. All of the training, knowledge, discussions and worldview in general told her to condemn all actions by Finwë. "I started war with own brother to prevent him from hurting innocent. This was the right action and I fulfilled my duty as the king. I wanted no one to sink to their knees to express gratitude, no I want every inhabitant of Aman to follow our laws and treat each other with respect. This was too much for the pride of Fëanor'- words by mentor were almost screaming in Nimwen's head. Even Ingwë had never left his duties although he put too much attention into pompous speeches. High King of Elves condemned Finwë's decision in public according to witnesses.

Calanon looked worried as someone seeing his worst suspicions to come true. He spoke to himself, definitely not willing to share his thought with anyone else expect for Nimwen possibly. Father was sitting silent, while biting his lip. Clearly, he had heard the news before and became anxious after listening to them one more time. Brother joined them soon both worried and highly interested. Sister on the other hand seemed upset with their vivid discussion.

* * *

 **A/N** : I've always considered Finwë as the wise elf in general. Unfortunately he seemed unable to be just when in comes to Fëanor, as being blinded by love. It is not uncommon, but as we know ended up very bad.


	9. Weddings and politics

Nimwen noticed streets of Tirion as unnaturally empty. She had no idea some inhabitants had already left homes to follow Fëanor, whereas others were planning to do so. Those opposed to the princes, became angry. Fingolfin and his mother Indis faced serious problems with the task to calm inhabitants down. When Finwë passed the power to his second son, Noldor reacted dramatically and commended the whole situation intensively. King seemed sure not to face any problems. Noldor were proud and active nation, who disliked being left alone by their patriarch. The exile was not long from the perspective of immortal elf, but everything went wrong.

The judgment of Fëanor revealed old divisions between Noldor, whereas the latest decision by Finwë worked as the last drop. Only a group admitted that it was Melkor who spread lies and were eager to listen to the story. " _He was imprisoned by Valar, where Fëanor showed no love towards Indis the queen, when isolated himself from the family and looked superior towards others_ " – it was not a true that Fëanora put himself in the position of the superiority, but those upset with the king refused to listen. " _The place of the king is among his people. Husband needs to stay with his wife and father is to stay with children_ "- words were spoken openly.

Those elves gathered around Mahtan. Blacksmith openly called his son-in-law harsh and impulsive. They felt abandoned aby the king and looked for someone else to took the lead. Mahtan seemed ideal and highly respected not only due to his position of the Disciple to Aulë, but also thanks to his cordiality and willingness to teach young Noldor. He spoke openly about greatness of hard work " _All of us can achieve greatness here: prince, son of the craftsman or embroideress. There is a room for everyone to gain mastery in the selected field_ " – he used to speak and gained popularity among more controlled Noldor.

In most cases Mahtan tried not to participate in the politics. He preferred working under guidance of Aulë to games on the court. Nevertheless, he understood the importance of his position and talked to elves shocked by Fëanor argument with Fingolfin. Mahtan called his son-in-law "the spoiled prat". Situation was so serious, that even Aulë didn't order him to calm down and regain control over emotions.

'The metalliferous ore harmed you in no way – Vala said – 'stop using the brute force, or you will damage both yourself and my tool'.

'I am sorry, it so too much. He made my daughter so sad and nervous. Why no one has ever taught him how to behave?'

'Yavanna and I are feeling sympathy towards Nerdanel obviously, but please keep in mind angry voice provides no solution. The fellow Noldor of you understand my teachings better than others. I wish them to be safe from the problems cause by the spoiled child. Try to calm them down, make use of the respect you have'.

'This idea has come to me'- Mahtan said – 'we all need to remain calm, even if this is extremely difficult for me. Nerdanel wishes to follow him to Formenos'.

'It's extremely unfortunate indeed, follow me to the dinner. My wife can be very persuasive'.

He nodded and recalled how angry Yavanna became when learned that Fëanor used light from her Trees. Valie was more than upset to learn that any craftsmen walked close to the precious plants. No it went even worse, as the fact that Fëanor had learned a lot in her _dearest husband's_ household and used his knowledge to threat his brother, became the personal insult in Yavanna's opinion. It was the insult both for Aulë and her as well.

The dinner became far from the peaceful. Mahtan plead his daughter to join then, hoping other members of the household would convince her to change the initial plan. Nerdanel was a strong minded elleth of way for no way for the effortless persuasion, but he decided to try.

The dinner started at the sunset. They all took their seat in one of the gardens of Yavanna. Nerdanel sited close to her father and waited anxiously. She was informed that father is upset with Fëanor. His co-workers warned her towards possible tension. Calathiel, the Disciple to Yavanna, had always disliked husband to Nerdanel and became hostile recently. Vanya greeted daughter of Mahtan cheerfully, speaking no word about Fëanor. Yavanna told her to behave. Calathiel was usually very talkative, but not then.

Aulë and Yavanna greeted Nerdanel warmly. She answered in the same manner, cheerful to see Valar being like noble family members to her. They encouraged her towards such behavior. Yavanna, blond-haired beauty in the elegant green robe and flower crown, decided to speak openly. " _Welcome back to our home, daughter of Mahtan_ "- Valie said, almost calling living with Fëanor the exile. Nerdanel guessed what was about to happen.

'Why do you intend to follow this …. this husband of yours to the exile? You did nothing wrong'- Calathiel said, once they took their places. Vanya was tired of holding her tongue for long, fifteen minutes.

Calathiel stated her opinions towards Fëanor clearly. She paid no attention to Ainwendil sitting close to her. Maia tried to calm elleth down, but she felt free to speak as Yavanna didn't react to words by Calathiel. Such gesture spoke more than thousand words, as Valie paid attention to behavior by all in her charge. She demanded them to behave and remain civil towards others. Calathiel followed tradition by other Disciples to follow style of clothing and speaking. Green became her favorite color as emeralds favorite gems. She was wearing gauzy, long dresses, accompanied by emerald earrings and necklace. Sometimes elleth used flowers as the natural gems but in most cases preferred roses to remain in the soil.

'Fëanor is my husband. I have no will to leave, as this is my duty to stand by him'- Nerdanel protested.

'Duties are mutual'- Calathiel said.

'We can't doubt in the fact that Fëanor fulfilled his duties. Seven sons of them are the best proof'- Ainwendil said. Calathiel gave him the angry look.

'To conceive a child is one, whereas care and responsibility are the second'- Yavanna tried her best to prevent argument between those in her charge – 'Behavior of Fëanor is unwise, listening to his pride'.

'I agree he is '- Nerdanel said –'I want to follow him, to keep an eye on my sons and my fellow Noldo. I love my husband and believe him to be persuaded'.

'Your attitude is noble. I hope Fëanor will understand'- Yavanna said.

Mahtan heard love and wisdom in words by Nerdanel. He remained silent but wished daughter to stay with him, the closest family member he had. His grandsons loved Fëanor unconditionally and considered him as the mystic figure, which turned their relation into worse. He lived with it, but hoped his only child, Nerdanel to betted fate than a role of the wife of "that elf". He made his opinions clear not only ores in the forge.

Mahtan listened carefully to those who visited him and complained. He seemed relieved Noldor upset with decision by Finwë looked for the advice. They all sounded sad, so abandoned by their fellow king. Mahtan let Nerdanel to follow Fëanor on his exile as she was the person to decide. Nevertheless, his feelings towards son-in-law went even colder. He promised to help those Noldor anger with what happened. He promised them advice and started to gather possible allies. Father to Nimwen were among them, as her position of the Disciple to Manwë could be helpful.

Mahtan told the whole story while sitting in Nimwen's house. Calanon nodded sadly, clearly concerned and even scared. Nimwen listened them in silence anger by actions by both Finwë and Fëanor. She spent her childhood in Tirion, learned to perceive the leader of Noldor as wise and fair rules. All recent events had no sense and ended somehow her time of naiveté.

The recent events caused serious tensions in Tirion. The royal family appraised Fëanor and his masterpieces, but not all Noldor shares such feelings. Some even started to ask why Teleri was granted by king to care for them, accompanied them when sailing on waters. Olwë used to meet his people on the regular manner and even invited them to his palace, whereas king of Noldor left them. He used to be different when married to Miriel. Their first queen was deeply loved and respected: she taught Noldorian elleths a lot, as queen – mother of her nation supposed to act. She died after giving birth to Fëanor, because of him those less friendly towards Finwë used to say. When king dwelt with his family in Tirion, the balance remained in Tirion. He was a wise and fair ruler, but the love towards the firstborn was stronger than the wisdom for the bad luck of many.

Mahtan feared anger and sorrows of his people. He started walking among them and talking. It was his duty to talk to them. Tirion and all its beauty was their achievement and treasure, the common welfare of all Noldor. He made his opinion clear to Nimwen, who listened to him carefully. Elleth felt furious for both Fëanor and Finwë, losing all respect towards king forever. She failed to understand his decisions and decided not to try.

'Can I help you Master Mahtan? Is there anything I can do?'- she asked.

'There is no need for official titles. I came here to ask for help. Our mutual voices talking about hard work and remaining calm, are going to be stronger. You got my point, didn't you? As the Disciple of Manwë you must have been informed by him what it that all about'.

'Yes, I was informed about consequences and warned not to love my title heavily'- she explained – 'I will support you Mahtan as long as he.. my mentor approves. He is worried about situation in Tirion. Fëanor rebelled almost openly'

It was then when the group known as the Union of Craftsmen or the Union of Mahtan came to existence. Their first meeting took place when elder sister of Nimwen get married. The wedding reception provided unique opportunity to learn more about feelings by Noldor. Nimwen, Mahtan and Calanon decided to stop the clear madness and paranoia of Fëanor to spread around other Noldor.

They spoke no anger words against the royal family, even if highly criticized decision by Finwë to follow his son. " _King is to remain with his people, husband is to remain with his wife, father is to remain with his children_ "- sentence was spoken loudly. The Union pointed Fingolfin as their leader, saying " _Fëanor was exiled, our king left us. Are we supposed to wait without the leader, hoping Valar will forgive the prince. We want wise Fingolfin to rule us_ ".

Xxxxxx

Nimwen's elder sister looked gorgeous during the wedding day. In her light, gauzy dress, sparkling veil and necklace by Mahtan she resembled princess. Mother and other women made enormous work with her hairdo, preparing complex composition of pearls and flowers of the deceptive chaos. Her gown was rather simple, matching elegant hairdo without unnecessary pomp. Guests observed elleth carefully, even if her beloved caught her full attention.

The wedding ceremony was planned by families of those to get married. The vow was not formalized, only plea to Eru for blessing remained the constant part. Nimwen as she bridesmaid took the place behind her sister, smiling warmly. Her gown from the Ilmarin caught attention of many, making guest to divide attention between bride and bridesmaid. It made older elleth angry for quite a long time.

Nimwen was ordered to leave by father, once vows were done. The group of Noldorian craftsman seemed less cheerful than other guests as if different issues brought them here. Elleth recognized only few of them, which made their presence suspicion. Since when her family had so many guests? Since when clients are invited to the wedding reception?

'My friends, let me introduce the young lady friendly towards our case'- Mahtan greeted the group.

'Is it true young lady? Are you feeling as we feel?'- dark-haired elf asked, looking at Nimwen with serious look.

'Master Mahtan told me about your concerns'- she pointed towards the blacksmith – 'I agree peace and bliss is most important for our people, whereas hard work is the way towards mastery and the great joy. Even I have lived with Vanyar, as I love poetry as much as they are, I have lost interest neither in Noldor issues nor out city of Tirion. My worthy craftsman I have no doubt you are working hard in domain unknown to me. No matter of our field and talents, Valinor and beautiful city of Tirion is the best place of us. Why not to enjoy its bliss? It is not the problem that we are ruling our town not the whole country. Valar respect our freedom and customs and ask for nothing but to respect their laws. They simply ask us to remain cordial towards each other and not to use violence. Why the butterfly sitting on the flower should be jealous that hound is running fast? Why Fëanor is trying to convince us to treat friendly Valar in the hostile way? It is all wrong. To make matters worse, Finwë, king and father of our nation, left us! Did we do something wrong? Did we hurt him?'

'I hear the words of wisdom from your lips young lady'- one of the guests said – 'We want to live in peace, to work hard and make our works magnificent. We want no arguments with others. We want words of wisdom and common sense, especially now, when our king left us!'.

'We all need to remain calm'- Nimwen said – 'We shall go back home and choose the best path for us and our dearests. They are most important for us and their interest is our priority. We need to find suitable work and live in peace'.

'We want nothing else, nothing more'- elf nodded – 'We also want to continue the live we have here in Valinor, under the rule of the king interested in our welfare. King betrayed us and deserves no further loyalty'.

'Indeed, but the order need to remain'- she said –'King Finwë left his family, his wife and us, his nation. His second son Fingolfin is the victim hear, wise elf he is and because of it ..'

'.. he succeeded Finwë and deserves the chance' – Mahtan said – 'there is no reason not to'.

They chatter for some time. Nimwen realized Mahtan and she became someone important for group of elves. Who knows if they respected them or tried to accommodate to the new situation when Finwë left. They needed the leader to pay attention to their needs, listening and caring person as the former queen Miriel or Olwë, leader to Teleri. Nimwen hoped nothing else to follow the chaos. She had no intend to participate in the revolution.

The fear of revolution was not the only to bother elleth. Her sister seemed upset with the small gathering, feeling Nimwen used the wedding reception to start political talks and eventually stole her day. Older elleth noticed jewellery and robes her little sister was wearing, but also how many guests paid attention and talked to her. Nimwen used to sit in the corner accompanied with books only, when older sister gossiped and worked with other young girls. Later, as bride remembered, little sister lived with Vanyar and visited family home from time to time, obviously excited about household of Vanyar. She kept talking about elves of light, but parents were the only to listen till now.

Bride noticed how cheerful and carefree her little sister was. She spoke to many guests openly, without even the trace of shyness. It made older elleth angry, definitely upset with the fact that her handworks are praised no more. Nimwen caught almost the whole attention. " _She behave as the sort of princess_ "- bride murmured – "w _ho does she think she is?_ ". Nimwen did her best not to behave as superior, but the jealousy is rarely rational. It all made their farewell cold, even if Nimwen failed to see what happened and blame tiredness and overall wedding's nervousness for it.

Xxxxxx

When back in the palace, she talked about the most recent events during her sister's wedding. It took her few days to stay with family. After the whole event, she arrived in the Ilmarin in the early afternoon to have time for bath before going to the dinner. Nimwen loved spending time in the large bathhouse close to the sleeping chamber. Many times she planned her day to spend at least an hour in the warm water. The bathhouse seemed the best part of her chambers. Nimwen needed time to really get full used to the room as huge as the main room in her family home. The large, deep bath was built in the floor. It was deep enough to even try to swim, but Nimwen preferred reading and sorbet drinking to swimming as her little, end-of-the-day pleasures. Bathing was definitely her favourite, but not the only pleasure. Elleth couldn't guess how creature of spirit but not body seemed to have such a deep knowledge about perks of the material world. She had few guesses, but prefer not to think too much.

Nimwen choose long, lilac, sleeveless dress for the dinner. The gown was both elegant and comfortable, even if really long. She tended to wear high-heeled shoes to avoid accidents and landing on the floor as the results of stepping on the dress. She eventually learned how to walk with shoes rather unpopular among ellets. Nimwen left hair loose, felling no need for complicated hairdo, especially if the evening was definitely going to be long.

The dinner took place in the nice, light chamber with columns at its very end. Anyone who came close to the railing saw the breathtaking landscape of Taninquentil and Vanyarian households. It took some time for Nimwen to get used to the fact that enormous, trimmed palace was taken care of fifteen souls only. This was the number of the average, multi-generational elvish family, not the royal court she expected. Ainur and their works were more complicated than elves suspected at the first glance.

Nimwen took her place close to Eonwë, who treated her in the similar way elves treated little siblings. It was the closest description she could think about. Valar considered Maiar in the way elves considered members of the family and Disciples as small children who needed teachings and guidance. Nimwen also realized they paid enough attention to anyone in their households to prevent unhealthy rivalry, as in large, caring families.

'The situation among Noldor is far from good.'- Nimwen said and took a sip of wine - 'King Finwë decided to follow his son to Formenos in his exile. It was the act of treachery and abandon for many of my compatriots. The atmosphere in the city is tense'.

'King should stay with his people' – silver-haired woman answered – 'It was not appropriate for Finwë to leave his wife, his kids and his nation'.

'We all are going to agree with you Nyarië, nevertheless he cannot order Finwë to behave as elves are free nation – Manwë reminded –'Nimwen, is there anything you want to tell us?'.

'Yes'- she nodded –'Mahtan had expressed his concerns about the present situation and asked me for help. He wants to talk to members of the Noldor tribe to talk to them. He plans to make use of his position to calm their emotions down and persuade everyone, mainly those most upset, to remain calm. I agreed … I hope this is not the over usage ..'

'My dear child, there is a huge difference between using my grace to gain power and begging for peace – he answered with smile – 'There is a lot of you need to learn if you want to help Mahtan in his task. If you wish to try to calm emotions of your kin down, you have my blessing'.

'Where it will lead us?'

'Such knowledge is beyond our comprehension' – Vala explained – 'it is known however that doing nothing is not going to bring any good'.

'Indis seemed devastated, when I met her wandering in the woods'- silver-haired Nyarië said – 'She needed my help to come back of households of Vanyar and not get frozen'.

'The frantic behavior by Fëanor is affecting more and more elves'- Varda summarized the recent events and touched hand of her husband – 'I still don't understand why Finwë left Indis'.

'Maybe he has not loved her?'- Nimwen asked.

'The swore his love towards Indis is deep as the ocean, when he came and begged us to let him to re-marry'- Queen explained.

'Maybe it was not a love, but something very different' – Manwë summarized, petting the hand of his wife in the delicate manner.

Nimwen looked at her plate, feeling no need to hear anything more concerning marital stuff. Before the wedding, she was forced to hear "teachings" by female guests. Some of them were smiling when saw young elleth turning red during talks about "sensitive places", kisses of "the first night's pain". To make matters worse, they started to discuss how husbands of them are doing in bedroom, making fun of her reaction. That was definitely enough!

The rest of the dinner was very nice and relaxing. Nimwen decided to ask Nyarië about her meeting with Indis.. The fact that queen of Noldor walked so far away from Tirion was a very bad sign. Later, Mahtan told her the story of the great argument in the palace, but even without such knowledge Nimwen realized the tension visible during Festivals are getting more and more severe.

She decided not to think about Indis too much at least for now. The whole situation was definitely sad, but not related to her friends or family. It was their duty to react, whereas any actions by strangers were most rude and intrusive in nature. One action is to talk about prince or princess dancing with someone during Festival, suggestions or actions was the second.

Xxxxxx

The statement that Indis reacted bad on her husband's decision to follow Fëanor spoke nothing about the facts. It all made the last, sorrow act out of many. The top of the iceberg in a sense. There was a shadow above Tirion, caused by far more by just lies by Melkor. Changes were coming, but nothing was going in the right direction. The exile of Fëanor pointed out the incoming problems partially. The great and angry argument took place in the family if Finwë. Its consequences turned out to be irreversible.

'You decided to follow him, don't you'- golden-haired elleth in the elegant, light robe hissed. It was Indis.

She was wearing long, simple elegant dresses. Her style was typical for other Vanyar, except for Ingwë. Snow white gown made her skin radiating and provide the illusion of delicacy to her as whole. Her long, golden hair were decorated with dedicated and complicated diadem, resembling strongly the spider web in its silver radiation. Mahtan knew how to make jewelry tender and solid looking at the same time. Vanyar were known for their elegance and stylish appearance, whereas Indis looked perfectly in her pearl necklace and simple dress.

Queen of Noldor was known from her peaceful nature and inner self restrained. She tried her best to make the whole family happy and give love to the motherless child Fëanor. Prince harshly rejected all her efforts not even trying to pretend. It made even her, delicate and cheerful elleth darker and sadder. Indis tried as much as she could to keep the balance in her family and among Noldor as well. Unfortunately, Finwë always took the side of Fëanor no matter what he did. Fëanor used to call her "the stranger" openly and husband never reacted. To make matters worse, he treated their children in the same way: always on the side of Fëanor and Fëanor's only. He kept saying his firstborn had no mother and loss of Miriel devastated young elf. Indis felt that her patience lasted too long.

'I need to be with him, please understand that he is my child. He has nothing to care for him but me'- Finwë explained harshly.

'You have other kids to take care of!'- Indis hissed – 'Don't forget, that you have also me, your wife here as well as your people who need you in Tirion. I have bad feelings, please don't go'.

'I am not going to leave Fëanor alone!'

'He is not alone with his wife and children'.

'My decision is final'.

'Let it be, alas I make my decision'- Indis's voice trembled – 'If you leave now to follow Fëanor, you will not see my anymore. I am tired of all this, of being useless. If this is your decision husband, I will leave to households of my kin. Please think at least how Noldor are going to react'.

'I am the king. They will obey and there is no other option than to obey. Fingolfin will take care of my business. You are emotional now, I strongly encourage you to re-think your words'.

Tears shined in Indis's eyes. She did not change her mind, but took her coat and left the chamber crying sadly. Finwë followed her for a few steps in the weak attempts to stop his wife. He even tried to say something and even promised to stay in Tirion. Eventually, he remained silent and immobilized as his love towards firstborn was stronger than love towards other members of the family. He lost no time to consider his subject sure Fingolfin would be fine. Finwë believed his words be strong enough to make everyone obedient. It took him months of exile to realized how he overestimated his position. Finwë was a wise elf, but his wisdom was weaker than love towards Fëanor.

Finwë and his companions left the palace to follow the eldest prince. It made both other kids to the king as well as elves of Tirion frozen. Noldor observed their king to leave in silence. Many of the refuse to believe their own eyes, feeling sad and left alone as if their father left them. The anger succeeded sadness in hearts of some. They made up the group speaking against the royal family openly, to spoke to Mahtan and Nimwen eventually. Disciples tried to calm them down, but how to be angry with elves to look for the authority figure if king left? The highly respected figure of Mahtan seemed the natural candidate to speak in the urgent matter. The father-in-law to Fëanor needed to speak to them and prevent violent actions. He remembered Cuiviénen and ancient threats lurking in shadows. The bliss and safety was not the eternal state to elves, whereas Fëanor actions towards Fingolfin showed it might be ended.

Fingolfin was devastated when saw both father and mother to leave. He failed to hide his great sadness from guards. Finwë left without even looking back to see his other kids. They all left chambers and screamed, begging theirs's father to stay. He did nothing, they noticed no reaction not even a single attempt to back. The decision was made, when Indis left palace devastated. She used to walk long walks to calm emotions down, but always came back. It was the past now and Fingolfin became successor of his father, according to accusations of Fëanor.

The new king needed to take care of many issues all at once. He possessed enough amounts of power and wisdom to follow his new duties, but all happened too fast. To make matters worse, he needed to calm emotions of his relatives down and prevent them from speaking against father in public. They should not wash their dirty linen in public, Noldor needed wise rule not public arguments. It took him some time to became familiar with the Union because of his approach to solve problems in family first, then in the palace and eventually in the city. He was not arrogant but overwhelmed elf with all traits of the great leader.

* * *

A/N: We have little knowledge about how Noldor reacted when Finwe, their king left them to accompany his son to Formenos, but I doubt they were happy, neither was Indis when she saw her husband leaving her to follow her step-son who were hostile towards her son.


	10. Tirion and Formenos

**Cyrus559:** Thank you. The overall idea of the story was to provide the perspective you are talking about. I also wondered what happen to Nerdanel and those who remained in the Aman after Noldor fled. I will include Nerdanel later as well as Teleri and Vanyar.

* * *

Fëanor were followed on the exile by those who listened and took his arguments as theirs. The group seemed excited by the plan to come back the Middle Earth, the distant land of unlimited opportunities for everyone courage enough to make use of them. Many of those who remained in Tirion also started to plan leaving the Aman, but discuss their plans less openly. No one knew that Finwë tried his best to calm emotions down and reminded about the shadows from Cuiviénen. He remembered death by those who left their comrades, but no one listened to him, yet no one outside Formenos knew what king did. Fëanor became furious as Valar made him to apologize and as the result let no one to leave or arrive at Formenos. Who knows how Noldor would appraise his actions to calm down, if Fëanor listened to him while planning expansion of the fortress and plans to escape the prison of the Blessed Realm.

'We are immortal capable of making the best. Valar have no right to keep us here. We should say "no" to their acts and join our brothers in the Middle-Earth to build our own kingdoms. There is enough space for us all to conquer abandon lands and reign lands without supervision by strangers'.

Followers to Fëanor agreed with his words and reacted with the great enthusiasm, whereas his opponents acted differently. They went mad and gathered around Mahtan. Wise and noble Fingolfin spoke no single angry word towards his father or step brother in public. He tried to defend them both. Those who believed in words " _King is to remain with his people, husband is to remain with his wife, father is to remain with his children_ " became upset with his words. No optimal solution to the problem existed. One of courtiers to Fingolfin explained how departure of Finwë became the reason for so many issues.

'There is a political faction of growing popularity present in the city'- elf said – 'They called themselves as the Union of Mahtan or the Union of Craftsmen.

'Do you mean Mahtan, father to ..?'- Fingolfin started.

'The father-in-law to Fëanor, as you guessed my prince. He is angry and disappointed with his son-in-law, unable to forgive his teachings were used to craft sword he threatened you with. Mahtan is speaking openly about deception by Fëanor and how teachings were misused. He is deeply respected by his fellow craftsman and other elves of Tirion. As the Disciple to Aulë, Mahtan is highly influential figure'.

'I know that Disciples to Valar are deeply respected, but what is he..'- Finarfin interrupted.

'There is the reason why the Union of Mahtan has two official names. Mahtan found the ally to his cause, mainly Nimwen, daughter of craftsman of Tirion and the Disciple to Manwë himself'.

'Do we know anything about this elleth?'- Fingolfin asked, feeling very tired and old.

'Nimwen is a scholar, more interested in translation texts from Valarin to our language than with politics. She teaches as well. Nimwen found and speak openly about old laws from the Cuiviénen and by then empower words " _King is to remain with his people, husband is to remain with his wife, father is to remain with his children_ ". She seems very agreeable with old concept of king as the father to nation'.

'This is not the lack of interest'- Finarfin said – 'What else can you tell us about the Union?'

'They are not enemies my princes. The Union spoke nothing against us, our laws or laws by Valar. Mahtan and Nimwen keep talking about the power of hard work, how to train the natural skills and claim anyone can be on the top if work hard on own talents. Moreover, they spoke about lives we lived before coming to Aman and how shadows from Utummo hunted us. To summarize, they ask for peace and to stop rebellions against Valar. Additionally, they ask to accept you as the new king'.

'It seems we have allies'- Fingolfin said – 'listen to me brother'- elf continued seeing anger at the face of Fingolfin – 'I know you consider it painful to hear others speaking against father. This group is speaking about pain by us all. We and many of our kin are devastated by decision our father made'.

They spoke longer, but found no consensus. Words spoken loudly by the Union opened painful wounds in their hearts, every time others recalled how Finwë abandoned his duties as king, husband and father. None of them knew what to do next, especially both Fingolfin and Finarfin believed Finwë would came back soon. Nevertheless, Fingolfin decided to invite elves related to the Union for a talk.

Xxxxxx

The most recent events left Mahtan with less and less time to work in his forge. It took him hours to discuss with friends and other craftsmen. The group of Noldor left Tirion: the rebellion and anger by those who remained were the last event to anticipate. Mahtan asked Nimwen regularly to arrive in Tirion. Her family helped him and started to talk and persuade others to calm emotions down and respect power and judgments by Valar, but only elleth could use her status to make her words stronger. She worked hard on translations and reminded about the ancient threats from the lake of Cuiviénen. Nimwen also reminded that elves agreed to accept the friendly invitation by Valar. She also emphasized that lands outside were not safe not elves and no treasures are hidden from them. Her words sounded rational, but elves of Tirion wanted to hear the words not by letters but in person.

Nimwen decided to visit Tirion regularly, officially to fulfill her duties as the teacher. She didn't want her actions to be obviously political in nature. The role of teacher was believable, as she visited both Noldor as Calanon and young Vanyar as well previously. Elleth came up with no other probable explanation.

'King is to remain with his people, but as the people we are to wait for the king as the child waiting for the father. It is not appropriate to welcome our father with anger'- she said.

'Father left us alone, why shall we welcome him? We want someone who will take care of us and show his interest!'.

'King Fingolfin listened to his father, betraying none of us. Any word or action against him will be against the law. As the result, Valar will become angry '- she said and continued biting her lips – 'The child has not only father but the teacher and others as well and need to listen to elders'.

'Mahtan has been always kind and full of understanding. We will listen to him as well as you, lady. You are teacher to our kids and wisdom is hidden behind your words. If you wish Finwë to remain our king by title, let it be. Mahtan will lead us'.

Words she heard were almost the first steps towards rebellion. Nimwen and Mahtan exchanged worried glances, but reacted wise enough not to ask angry elves to be obedient towards Finwë. Who knows who they would listen to if not them? What kind of insane ideas might become attractive?

At the time Fingolfin ruled Tirion, meeting between the Union and sons of Finwë were cordial, polite and even friendly. Fingolfin acted as the king and listened carefully to words and ideas by craftsmen. He also bit his teeth every time guests complained on decision by Finwë. Fingolfin wrote several letters to Formenos, asking father to came back, but received no reply. He got no idea Fëanor ordered his sons and followers to take any letters and delivered to him only. Prince spoke nothing about letters from Tirion, trying to convince his followers no one care for them anymore.

At the beginning they discussed work, teachings and agreed no violent actions are required in the present situation. King left them and preferred exile on Formenos to royal duties. Nevertheless, the magnificent city of Tirion remained and lived its life without the king, full of elves who worked hard every day. " _We worked hard to make our life wonderful. Our father and you all put an amazing effort to build the glory of our nation. We cannot destroy work by many with our anger, anger caused by one decision. King made his decision and now it's time for us to make ours. Finwë abandoned us but gave us his son. Fingolfin deserves trust and should not be judged by actions of his father_ ".

Words by the Union of Mahtan seemed convincing for many. Both Mahtan and Nimwen encouraged young elves to study and work hard. Elleth asked her parents to talk with guests to their house and encourage team work. Father agreed with the great enthusiasm: he had started to work with Mahtan recently. No doubt they discussed the current political situation often. Mahtan seemed with the royal family, mostly son-in-law, but wanted to riots. Her family became known among craftsman of Tirion. Well-known for the hard work seemed trustful and closest circle listened to them.

Fingolfin and Finarfin learned that craftsmen gathered themselves and formed larger groups known as craft guilds. Sculptors, embroideresses gathered in houses of one of them to work together, teach kids and exchange necessary materials. As they explained it is easier to get enough resources and learn when meet in more structured manner than friendly visits. They hoped to create works of even higher quality than ever. To improve one's talent seemed the most suitable way to life for Noldor. Princes greeted and reacted happily on such ideas, especially when heard plans to improve parts of the city. The official credo to the Union of Craftsmen was to improve natural talents. Idea seemed reasonable and highly required for all: blacksmith or sculptors should work hard and learned new techniques. Princes had no idea that during such meetings the current political situation was discussed as well. Members of guilds considered Finwë as the ex-king and Fëanor as dangerous. They seemed to miss king less and less, considering Mahtan as closer. He was highly respected member of the society and closer than king hidden behind his court. They also listened to Nimwen, teacher to their kids, cordial and polite person who never showed patronizing behavior, regardless position of the Disciple to Manwë. She openly admitted to behave in the manner as Miriel, "the good queen" did previously.

Nimwen felt nervous before her first meeting with Fingolfin. She manager to calm emotions down when walked with Mahtan to the royal palace of Tirion. She dwelt with beings far elder and more dignified than sons of Finwë. When she saw the new king to Noldor: young, polite and concerned elf, elleth felt instant understanding towards him. She seemed trustful when greeted them in most cordial manner and offered place to sit. No discussion started before wine and appetizers appeared.

'I want to thank you, king, for your kindness and our meeting'- she said while drinking the wine.

'Lady, all hardworking elves deserves kind treatment' – Fingolfin explained, ignoring anger expression on his brother's face – 'I would like to thank both of you for your attempts to calm our people down '- he said looking at Mahtan – 'You know my friend how devastated we became, when our father had left us'.

'I may guess I believe' – Mahtan answered – 'My daughter hoped to convince Fëanor to stop this madness by following him into Formenos. I saw how our kin became upset when your father left. Arguments and anger is the last we need now. Hard work is the best cure for anger. Actually, emotions help me with forging when force is needed'- he said with the smile.

'Vanyar on the other hand prefer medications' – Nimwen interrupted – 'it is the perfect solution for those less skilled in the crafting'.

'Indeed, we have options to choose from'- Fingolfin said –'As I said, I appreciate how you teach elves, but words spoken about my father, the king..'

'The former king, my lord'- Nimwen emphasized – 'He choose exile towards his royal duties and abandoned us. No one forced him to leave us. Are we supposed to be satisfied after all of this?'- she asked.

'What is the amount of knowledge about royal duties the daughter of the craftsmen has?' – Finarfin hissed angrily.

'You wish to learn more? - he said icily – 'I am teaching history and law. In none of the books and scrolls known to be it is desired for the king to value private life over the royal duties. To be the king is to serve the nation, it is hard work and great responsibility not the privilege and crown on top of the head'.

'You are right again lady' – Fingolfin said looking angrily at his brother – 'please understand us, how painful is for us sons to hear all the complains'.

'Then I would like to apologize you my king, for making you sad'- Nimwen said –'I will use more delicate words, but won't change my mind in the matter'.

Fingolfin nodded. He also did his best to prevent his brother from harsh comments. Another argument was on the bottom of their to-do list. He talked with the pair of Disciples to Valar trying his best to come up with the agreement. Fingolfin realized they would not change their opinions about father and Fëanor in the predictable future. It made no problem for the patient person of him. He realized calm and peaceful discussion to be more efficient than pride and anger. After all they had unlimited time ahead, at least they thought so.

The new king spoke politely with both Mahtan and Nimwen. He never called her "daughter of the craftsman" as to try to made her lower. Words by Finarfin made both Disciples angry. Finarfin clearly disliked Nimwen, low born elleth as he looked at him. Prince bit his teeth when spoke to him as one of maidens from the part. He looked at her with clear despise, making her nervous to his clear satisfaction.

'I reminded this girl where she belongs'- Finarfin explained – 'It is impossible and incapable for me to hear when _daughter of the commoner_ is speaking about royal duties. She talked about books and laws encouraged by you!'

'They are allies'- he reminded – 'When did you start to look at our kin in the such patronizing manner? Any elf: hunter, fisherman or the prince deserve cordial and peaceful discussion. We have no right to show such despise it not our goal. We have duty to rule and listen to our people. How can we learn their needs if speaking is forbidden? Our father abandoned us. It hurts us and other Noldor as well. Please tell me what is your ultimate goal? Why are you so harsh towards this elleth?'.

'I have no other goal, exept for my will to teach her about manners and her place. Her father is the ordinary jeweler, she needs to learn her place of the _commoner_. Our family problems are our issue not the public interest. I have already explained my wife this'.

'Firstly, is the public interest when king leaves his nation'- Fingolfin said in the harsh manner – 'his actions affected not only us. Secondly, I wish to hear you speaking about our people with such despise never again. Treat is as the order. Lastly, please keep in mind that "the daughter of craftsman" is also the Disciple to Manwë. Fëanor angered him and we don't need to follow steps by our step-brother. He rules the whole country and Arda, whereas our power is limited to Tirion and surrounding areas. I see no interest for Noldor and our family to become enemies with the little favorite to the Elder King. To make matters worse, she is right and reminded our laws. Father provided us the clear message when he left us. We are not important to him'.

Finarfin bit his lips. His agreement was deceptive. He strongly disliked both the Union and Nimwen. Their greetings remained cold and harsh. Finarfin spoke openly and eagerly with Mahtan doing his best to ignore the arrogant commoner Nimwen was in his eyes. Fingolfin was polite and quick enough to prevent serious arguments. He talked to her and showed necessary interest. The situation seemed promising as long as Fingolfin dwelt in the royal palace of Tirion. The new king started to believe the political crisis was over and peace came back to household of Noldor. It was the false hope.

They had regular meeting, thanks to efforts by Fingolfin. He wanted to make sure no one doubt Noldor were united and invited members of the Union for hunting and feasts in order to achieve this goal. Finarfin protested openly and loudly, whereas the rest of the royal family reacted either in the neutral or even friendly way. The deeply spiritual and mild tempered wife to Fingolfin dreamed to became friends with Disciples of Valar. It seemed almost as exciting as meeting one of the Lords of the West. This is why elleth met Nimwen happily to be able to talk with her in the manner impossible to talk with Mahtan.

Finarfin reacted harshly to the whole situation. For those who knew him better, suspected it was all the result of his problems. Children to the youngest son of Finwë became interested in words by Fëanor. The harsh relation between Artanis and her uncle Fëanor was known in the family, nevertheless the mighty princess talked loudly about freedom from the Valar that elves deserved. It didn't take long for her to became most known female character among rebellious ones. Finarfin failed to convince daughter to calm her emotions down and remained silent. To make matters worse, she managed to persuade brothers to follow her. She was charismatic elleth of clear opinions and strong will. His problems might explain why he reacted so angry on the presence and words by Nimwen. Elleth spoke openly about problems. His wife Earwën, friend to the spouse of Fingolfin, became friendly towards "the daughter to the commoner" and told too many secrets to the stranger. Finarfin understood friendship with sister-in-law, but not with "the daughter to the commoner". Nimwen spoke too many about wisdom and glory of the Valar. It made her almost as pious and eager as Vanyar or sister-in-law in the eyes of Finarfin. He had no problem with followers to Valar, as long as they choose distant places to gather. It was then he considered Nimwen as the person repeating all words by Valar in the manner not appropriate for Noldor.

Melkor disappeared and made no problems and mess among elves any more. Unfortunately, words spoken in anger and hate remained between them. It all made situation worse and worse, making the situation more difficult. It was not possible to forget angry words living their lives on their own. The knowledge about origins of lies started to disappear. Fruits of lies were growing very fast.

Two groups were known in Tirion back then. The Union of Craftsmen asked to remain calm and show no interest in the rebellion. The larger group seemed interested in adventures and new, distant lands to Valinor. They showed no interest in the political words by Fëanor and gathered around younger members of the royal family: children to Fingolfin and Finarfin. The Union separated themselves from the larger group. Both groups worked in their own company, teaching and meeting to socialize. They lived in the perfect separation but in peace. Both of them considered actions by Fëanor as not appropriate.

Xxxxxx

Nerdanel lived the life full of both sadness and the happiness at Formenos. She followed her husband due to two reasons. First of all, she hoped to helped beloved elf to stop his madness. Nerdanel knew the better, more rational part if his personality. Secondly, she wanted to keep an eye on children. She failed both her plans. It was already too late to convince Fëanor to change his mind. He refused to listen to her calm words. Nerdanel acted with the great caution not willing to be considered as the "enemy person". Fëanor considered Valar as enemies mad from anger after their made him to apologize and sentenced to the exile. Elf seemed upset with everyone, including his brother Fingolfin, the usurper to his throne.

Fëanor took her to their bed during the very first night. He reacted with the real joy and happiness, when she joined him to the Formenos. Nerdanel hoped this love to help him to find a cure from his madness. They made love during the night several times as delicate and passionate as back to the very first years of their marriage. They used to be so happy back then. Fëanor sword to love and respect his wife above many others. Maybe the wise and ambitious elf is still there. This was the hope of Nerdanel. The false hope.

Nerdanel was as terrified as Fëanor exited when they noticed Finwë among those who left. Elleth knew about groups talking to her father. Mahtan managed to calm the down, making the great use of his position of the Disciple to Aulë. She also noticed young scholar Nimwen to join meeting to express her anger caused by the decision made by Finwë. Nerdanel realized how serious consequences they would face. According to many, the king left his people, his wife and his children: Nerdanel decided to warn him. Her father-in-law didn't want to even think about the possibility of coming back to Tirion. He felt no will to be the king of Noldor anymore. He lost interest in the life of the court, his royal duties and paid attention only to his firstborn. Fortunately didn't spread outside Formenos.

'I want to express my gratitude Nerdanel. Thank you very much for your care towards my people. I cannot leave, as my place is near my child. There is no need to worry, as Fingolfin is capable off fulfilling royal duties. We have enemies neither. Come with me to talk to kids. There is no need to worry!'.

Nerdanel bit her lip angrily. She hated being treated as the unwise, young creature. She noticed more than many suspected and became terrified by words and actions by the father-in-law. He seemed to deliberately abandon all his duties. To make matters worse, he decided to remain here at the Formenos and not coming back to Tirion.

Elleth learned plans Fëanor had too soon. He put the serious efforts to hide his ideas and plans from her in the desperate attempts not to lose her trust. Fëanor worked hard to change Formenos into the livable place. Night by night he visited their bad and made love to her as passionate and tender as at the very beginning of their marriage. She started to hope that husband might be saved from his madness.

'Are you sure my son? Do you really want to do this?'- Finwë's voice trembled.

'I am sure as never before in my lifetime. Valar are using force to keep us here. We are intelligent and powerful enough to rule our lands without them'.

'Please keep in mind, it is not safe out there. I remember the shadows too well' – Finwë interrupted.

'We used to be as helpless as children back then. Since we have arrived in Valinor, we learned how to forge weapons. You spoke about your friend living there in the Middle-Earth. Once we start our own kingdom, neither Manwë nor anyone else will tell us what to do. Valar have their land to rule and I fell to need to rule in the Aman. If any of us, elves, have no ambitions they should stay here in the safe place. I want to rule and you my father should talk to Valar as their equal. You deserve to be the king of the Middle-Earth'.

'What if Valar won't let you leave?'

'Then, we will fight for our freedom. They have no right to imprison us in their land. We will attack their favorites and do anything necessary to make them listen to us.'

'Please do not speak so loud'- Finwë warned.

Nerdanel froze. She had no idea if she was more scared by the way Fëanor spoke about fighting or by the answers father-in-law provided. King not only seemed not to condemn words by his firstborn but also suggested further improvements of initial plans. To make matters worse, Finwë sounded convince to leave his people and remaining members of the family. He worked as the advisor.

Elleth planned to scream at the very beginning. She wanted to inform Fëanor how bad and irresponsible his plans were. Then she heard him shouting at the maiden serving them. Never before she had heard him screaming in such manner. Fëanor was losing any control over his character. To make matters worse, Finwë became blinded on everything. Nerdanel realized how alone she was here, the only person able to see problems. Elleth realized she need to stay and protect their people from the madness by Fëanor. She had scary scenarios in the head, but the daughter to Mahtan would not escape.

She remembered several moments of happiness, when rode the horse along with husband and Finwë. They were all so happy and innocent! Maglor worked on his new poems, Maedhros trained hard to improve his fighting skills. Other sons were also busy and the whole family lived the almost normal life. Formenos changed into livable and wonderful place, so different than Tirion. The climate was colder and harsher here at the far North. Nerdanel missed both her father and other dears in Tirion, bur seemed happy. No one else even planned to come back after the exile. Finwë decided to leave the throne once and for good, making several steps on the pathway towards madness after his son. Nerdanel realized the argument between Fëanor and Fingolfin was only the top of the iceberg.


	11. The Darkness

The end of the exile to Fëanor took place in the same time as the great Festival in Valmar. It was the annual celebration when everyone: Valar, Maiar and elves took their times to meet and celebrate in the cheerful atmosphere. Listening to the songs and eating the very first fruits of the season made the main parts of celebration. Not surprisingly, the celebration made the time for Fingolfin and Fëanor to make the peace at least. Only few knew that the latter was ordered to came to celebration even more spectacular than ever before.

Nimwen came among the last guests. Eonwë and Ilmarë followed the King and Queen directly, whereas Disciples appeared as the third pair, followed by the rest of members of the Ilmarin household. They all dressed in the light, gauzy robes. In order to decrease distance between them and elves they wore flower crowns on their heads and wore no jewelry. Only Fëanor, angry for being ordered to came, wore his most pompous and highly decorated robes. He also chose the golden diadem among flower crown, which all made his appearance much rich than the appearance of Valar. His behavior provoked whispers and comments, being far from friendly. To make matters worse, Finwë decided to remain alone on the Formenos. He explained that Formenos would remain his home, until Fëanor would receive the appropriate treatment as the prince of Noldor.

'I forgive you my half-brother to blood and the true brother to my heart' –Fingolfin said.

The declaration was received with joy and excitement. The situation came back to normal, except for the fact Finwë remained absent. Decision by the king started vivid discussion among elves of Tirion and made many of the angry. They hoped to see their king back for the last years, but now all hopes were gone. Some Noldor felt left alone and eventually angry. The members and friends to the Union noticed that even though Fëanor smiled talking to Fingolfin, his eyes remained cautious and unhappy.

Nimwen took her place close to Manwë and carefully observed the elves around. She noticed the darkness in the eyes to Fëanor. Prince and his sons took their place in the peaceful and distant side. It was clear they want no one to talked to them. Elleth got the very bad feelings, tempered neither by songs or words. The fact that Manwë clearly ordered to made the Festival even more joyful and spectacular than ever made her worried.

After the Festival she went with her aunt to Alqualondë. Years had passed since their last meeting, too many as they both realized. Aunt had also recently moved to the new house and invited her niece. When all lights were gone, they knew something terrible happened [1]. The Two Trees had been the source of light forever and gave light and warmness to everyone in the Undying Lands. Without their light, all living beings, except for Ainur would be dead in the week or two. It made even the thought of hurting the Trees unimaginable. Laurelin and Teleprion were sacred, thus elves got no idea what actually happened.

Nimwen and her family talked cheerfully, when the light started to fade. It reminded them of the last moments of the candle light before it was gone, but the effect went global and seemed to came from all the places at once. Elves stood up from their places and looked carefully up to the sky. They understand barely anything, nevertheless enough to became scared. Something went terribly wrong they knew. Nimwen understood almost nothing but suggested her family to hide. Family members agreed.

Suddenly they heard the most terrible scream ever, sounding as if someone was dying in the most painful death. They all went startled and scared, whereas the most sensitive among them felt on the floor. Regardless of the sensitivity, all of them jammed their ears. Sounds and screams were painful even if nothing touched them. Nimwen was terribly scared as never before, for the very first time knowing nothing. She was the scholar and teacher with the knowledge about the most ancient history, yet unware of what had recently happened. She hated the feeling.

None of them noticed when the squalid shadow crossed they sky. They were too concentrated on the awkward feeling and even though it became too dark to see anything on the sky. It was not the night but the darkness of the unknown source that appeared, accompanied by the most disturbing screams. Those less scared ordered to remain in homes and wait. They were sure that someone would provide the explanation sooner than later. However, it was only the beginning of the nightmare.

Xxxxxx

Valar were among the small group aware of what happened. Their knowledge was of the limited usefulness as they stood terrified by the last events. None of them ever believed it was possible to happen. Even if the role of Melkor in the whole argument between members of the house of Finwë became clear to them, they failed to predict the Two Trees could be in danger. Trees were lost now and they saw nothing, as the squalid shadow made them blind. Melkor, the rebellious one, killed the Trees using dark force unknown to them.

They reached the dead Trees almost all at once. They exchanged worried and terrified looks, thinking about the lost island of Almaren. Then, thousands years ago the terrible disaster happened and all animals and plants were dead. They stood around the chaos and destruction, not sure what do to next. Now, elves dwelt with them and lack of light would kill them in a week or two. Those living in the Middle-Earth were in the great danger as well, as Trees influenced plans in the distant lands in the way unknown to elves and dwarves.

'Hunt him down at all costs. He was the only one evil enough to commit such a crime' – Manwë ordered, refusing even to mention the name of his brother – 'Yavanna, do you know any way to heal the Trees'.

'No, I don't. We are helpless as last time we use many power to breed the trees. We can't even consider repeating the process, it will be too dangerous for elves living in Aman'- Yavanna explained sadly.

'Jewels of Fëanor are Enlighted by the light of the Trees. It is possible to make use to it?'- Aulë asked.

' I am sure'- Yavanna said –'I will be able to heal many wounds using the pure light. I can't say whether the healing will be absolute, nevertheless we will be given the time we need'.

'Then it is my duty to send Fëanor a messenger' – Manwë sounded tired – 'We shall go to the Ring of Doom and make our decisions. I hope, he will understand how serious the situation become. If not, I am afraid of the future to come'.

'His refusal will put all of his kin in the serious danger as far as we know'- said Ulmo.

'I am not sure if this is going to appeal to him. Fëanor is not the one to care for others'- Manwë seemed to expect the worst case scenario to come true.

'You call me the pessimists'- said Námo.

They went to the Ring of Doom and took their places, accompanied by their closest Maiar almost immediately. Everyone seemed terrified, whereas the most sensitive cried over the lost Trees and the fatal threat to all living creatures. The death in the darkness was awaiting them. All Ainur understood all plants would die in the days without the light. Soon after all animals and elves would die in the fear, hunger and darkness [2]. They needed to hurry and provide the temporal source of light, before the final solution would be proposed. Everyone agreed to the wise words by Manwë.

But it was only the beginning of problems. In the meantime, Fëanor talked to Noldor in Tirion trying to convince them to leave. He got few goals: first to investigate their views and secondly found a team willing to conquer the Middle-Earth and thirdly call father king of all lands and nations except for Valinor. His fierce words received the understanding as many elves seemed excited with the adventures and freedom waiting in lands behind seas. Fëanor went mad hearing about the Union of Mahtan and their words. He almost attached its members if it weren't for his brothers to stop them. "There is no need to fight with them if it is your wish to leave. They are living their lives in their workshops, let's leave them to every day's tasks".

In this the worst possible moment the messenger to Valar arrived. Fëanor hated when anyone interrupted his speech, even if was interrupted by Manwë himself. Maybe the son of Finwë was the only elf aware of the most recent events. Nevertheless, decision was made and fate of all living beings is not in his hand. Messenger ordered Fëanor to go, not losing time to see the mood of prince to Noldor.

Fëanor notice how gloomy the atmosphere in the Ring of Doom were. It was the custom of Valar to became distant and somehow insensitive when talked to standers, feeling it is tactless to make guests seeing their bad mood. Such attitude originated their view as the cold and distant gods. Fëanor was also after they exiled him and forced to apologize Fingolfin. He didn't wish his threats to Fingolfin and shared feelings with sons and followers but not father.

'The Two Trees are gone and their light is lost'- Yavanna explained sadly – 'The only hope for cure is in their light. Fëanor, son of Finwë, you captured and stored the light in your Jewels. We are asking you as options are limited'.

'Is this the only way?'- elf said, trying his best to control his temper.

'I am afraid yes'- Valië answered sadly – 'There are masterpieces that can be created only once. I am not able to breed anything close to the Trees for the second time. In the name of all living beings, I asked you Fëanor for Silmarils. We need their light to cure what is possible to be cured and make light and warmness available for all'.

Fëanor tithed his fists. There was the heavy storm in his mind. The wise and almost humble request by Yavanna proved him how much Valar desired his Jewels. He believed no single word by them, even if he felt satisfy seeing them asking for help. They exiled him and forced to apologize and now needed him, it was the funny twist in the story. "I am not going to answer their begging. They want to solve problems by destroying my work. Previously they have always introduced solutions" – he murmured.

'Answer!'- Manwë demanded, trying to make his voice as calm and controlled as possible.

'No' – elf said –'You said that sometimes maker is unable to repeat his works. I will not be able to make anything similar anymore. Silmarills are mine and mine only! One of your kind, Melkor, has already talked to me with the similar demand. When I refunded, he tried to steal what is mine. I will not give Silmarills to any of you. If you try to take Silmarills from me by force, I will be the first elf in Valinor to die. You will be to blame'.

Valar exchanged looks full of anger and worry. Words and attitude shown by Fëanor were screaming the warning. Everything seemed to fall apart. Elf clearly stated he cared for no one and even the threat for all living beings were not important for him. He understood the importance of the Two Trees and refused.

The messenger shared the tragic news few moments earlier. The treasury of Formenos was robbed and king Finwë killed. No other words could have potentially influenced Fëanor more than the most recent news. The elf standing in the middle of the Ring of Doom lost the most beloved person he had in his life. One of Valar was the killer to his father. He lost control and fire in his soul burned. He started to scream so sad and terrifying than even Valar were touched.

'I curse him and name him the Dark Enemy of the World, Morgoth. Let he be cursed forever for killing my father. Silmarills are gone and there is nothing else you can force me to do. You tried to take my Jewels from me just as him! After all he is one of us. I wish to have anything to do with either him or you all. My father needs a revenge, whereas my Silmarills are waiting for me'.

'Stop, he is too powerful to be approached by elves'- Manwë tried to warn Fëanor, even if elf behaved in the most arrogant way.

'He is going to cause problems'- Ulmo watched Fëanor with anger – 'Shouldn't we do anything to stop him?'.

'We should my friend but not now. If we fail to find the other source of light, son of Finwë will be the last among our problems'- Manwë said with sadness.

'They will all arrive in my Halls'- said Námo – 'I saw the madness in his eyes. Even we are not able to solve all problems at once. Manwë is right, there is no time. We need to act quickly if we don't want to see Arda becoming the dead world'.

'Is there anything you can do Yavanna?'- Manwë asked in tired and worried voice. His attitude surprise no one as he was a brother to Melkor – 'are Trees completely lifeless?'

' I will try my best to find the life in my Trees' – Valië promised – 'I warn you, that the few rays of light will appear if we are lucky. It may give us some more time'.

'Let me help you' – Nienna said – 'My tears can heal wounds. I doubt if I will be able to cure the Trees, but we may be given the time'.

'I want to thank all of you'- Manwë spoke cautiously – 'especially, as you are not trying to tell I should have known … Melkor better'.

'He lied to us all. We will not get benefits from mutual accusations. We have a lot of work to do and must act quickly'.

They believed the worst to be after them. None of them suspected plans of suffering Fëanor, who had just lost the only person able to persuade him to remain reasonable. He run towards Tirion, almost insane because of his pain. Valar predicted the harsh argument or rebellion to come, but not all the evil deeds to be done. There is a substantial difference between speaking against the ruling king and killing innocents.

Xxxxxx

He reached Tirion resembling the revenge in flesh and blood. His followers, eager to hear him, waited at the main city square. Those who believed rather words of Union of Mahtan escaped and run homes, seeing prince with the pure insanity clearly written on his face. He looked at them with despise. They were cowards in his eyes. "I don't need such useless fools. Let them leave me and remain in own households".

He spoke in front of crowd, full of pain and anger. His words made listeners both amazed and scared. His followers admired the courage of the prince. The other side considered his words to be the blasphemy.

"Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean,

brood of Morgoth or bright Vala,

Elda or Maia or Aftercomer,

Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth,

neither law, nor love, nor league of swords,

dread nor danger, not Doom itself,

shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin,

whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh,

finding keepeth or afar casteth

a Silmaril. This swear we all:

death we will deal him ere Day's ending,

woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou,

Eru Allfather! To the everlasting

Darkness doom us if our deed faileth.

On the holy mountain hear in witness

and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda! [3]"

Sons of Fëanor almost immediately repeated the Oath. They didn't bother to consider the true meaning of words spoken and possible consequences. Emotions not the voice of reason drove their actions. The group that followed them to Formenos repeated words as well.

Brothers of Fëanor listened to him scared. They seemed terrified by the magnitude of his determination. Swords was shining bloodily in the light of torches, whereas the wide sight of Fëanor made the worst possible future scenario. Fingolfin and Finarfin understood Fëanor his mind after the death of their father. It was only the matter of time when fire of his madness will affect them all.

'Let's leave to the Middle-Earth. Let's fight for elves, our freedom, the Oath and Silmarills! Follow me to Alqualondë and cross the seas. Our Fate is awaiting '- Fëanor almost screamed and showed his sword - 'Valar failed to save both my father and the Two Trees. After all what happened, they begged me for help. They want to rule us being nothing more by just children lost in the mist!'.

He was followed by sons and members of the family keen to rule and live without guidance or control by Valar. The cause was much more important than the vendetta and attempt to regain the lost Jewels. This was the explanation by those who never killed innocents, but left Valinor due to other causes. Faces of both Fëanor and his closest followers looked scary in the shadow of torchlights. Some among witnesses run away with the fear. Fingolfin and Finarfin exchanged worried looks, perfectly aware it was too late for any persuasions.

'We will follow you, but need time to gather our people '- they said.

'Well, then don't make me wait too long'- Fëanor nodded.

The terrifying team marched towards the coast. Elves living there had no idea what kind of threat was approaching, seeing the sudden darkness as the worst. Those among listeners who were supporters of the Union of Mahtan remained scared and stood in silence. The eyes of Fëanor were filled with fire and none of them wanted to investigate plans that had been recently made. Instead, they marched towards households.

After few moments they decided to act. The group gathered in the house that belonged to the influential member of the group asked one of their hunters to warn king of Teleri. It was the right action to made as they couldn't wait and do nothing while armed group walked towards Alqualondë with their demands. "Run to the Swan Palace as quick as possible and make use of your hunting skills. Olwë expects no threat from us. He must know the danger is close" – they were saying. The elf, hunting in the woods of Oromë often enough, followed the armed group of Fëanor and his supporters. Teleri with no doubt would not react happily when demanded to give their ships for free.

'Why shall we follow him?'- Finarfin asked with the fear in his voice.

'Because our children and many of our people are willing to follow him'- Fingolfin explained –'They need the voice of reason and protection from him. Fëanor clearly lost his mind after the assassination of our father. I am not going to leave my people alone with his madness'.

'But what about those who stays in Tirion? One of us need to be the king to them'- Finarfin said.

'The Union of Mahtan is influential enough to take care of Tirion. The real challenge awaits in the Middle-Earth. It is going to be dangerous, if we consider madness Fëanor exhibits'- Fingolfin explained.

They nodded and repeated their words to those among family members and friends in the vast majority eager to follow Fëanor. "No power is strong enough to prevent us from following the Oath"- they kept saying, looking for anything possibly useful as the weapon. Princes understood there was nothing to be said to spare them from the madness. In the whole situation, no one really noticed or cared for those friendly to the Union of Mahtan. Neither those in Tirion who considered their live in the Blessing Realm as the best option. They observed in horror and sadness how kind many months ago and now his sons are leaving them. They tithed their fists, feeling more and more convinced that Union is trustworthy. The House of Finwë seemed to abandon them.

Xxxxxx

The hunter followed the group by Fëanor. He was experienced with hunting and moving both quickly and in silent. He understood the threat swords and bows can cause, then became determined to remain silent. Elf decided not to check how Fëanor and others are going to react when noticed his presence. Words by their Oath were the blasphemy and it was better not to provided them the opportunity to act. He heard the argument between Fëanor and Nerdanel and witnessed their harsh farewell. She cried the very first tears in the most tragic period.

He managed to reach the Swan Palace before the group of Fëanor. He was in a rush and terrified, which opened the door for him. The hunter was guided to the main chamber, where Olwë gathered his family and court. They sat together with the room full of lights, trying to comfort each other. As most elves in the Blessed Realm they had no idea what happened and tried to guess. Earwën took her place near the father, scared almost to death.

'King, I came from Tirion with the warning'- the hunter said, trying to catch the breath – 'Fëanor and his followers will be here soon and all of them are armed. They swore the blasphemous Oath and I believe desired you ships for their travel to the Middle Earth'.

'Who were you sent by?' – Olwë asked clearly skeptical.

'By the group of Noldor skeptical towards plans by Fëanor and his followers. We, the Union of Craftsman or Union of Mahtan we worked hard to calm emotions down and convince Noldor to follow our ways: working hard and enjoy the bliss of Aman. Please lord, worn your people and I will tell you more about my group'.

Except for the initial doubts, Olwë seemed convinced by words spoken by the huntsman. There was something weird in his eyes and voice, a kind of desperation leaving no place for too many doubts. No elf would ever come up with anything similar. Unfortunately, Olwë did not took the warning seriously enough or understood well and harshly refused to give ships. He refused to help the madness of any kind as explained. He also suggested them to calm down and wait for the decisions by Valar.

As the result, the most disturbing screams were heard. The darkness was lighted by torches and swords in hands of the followers to Fëanor. Those who were standing near ships knew nothing about the Oath, neither why Noldor were carrying shiny, metal objects in their hands. They refused to abandon their ships. They not only worked hard to build them but also needed boast to went fishing or looking for pearls. Ships belonged to them, whereas Noldor had no right to claim ships as theirs. King Olwë clearly stated that nothing should be given to the fellowship of Fëanor.

'In the name of the Oath! '- Fëanor ordered.

He made use of the sword in his hand without hesitation. Teleri had no idea what was about to happen. "Valar are not going to stop us! Freedom and glory to Noldor" – he cried. On the sigh given, first his sons and then other started to kill Teleri. Now it was clear for the sea elves what was the primary usage of shiny, sharp objects in hands of Noldor. Swords quickly became red by the innocent blood. Fëanor and his followers were killing everyone in their sight with no mercy. Teleri had no chances as with their lighter weapons used to hunt down animals.

Olwë felt in his knees and cried, when realized his people are killing on the streets. The hunter of Tirion tried to comfort him and helped him stand. "I will never forget that the Union of Mahtan tried to warn me. Let Eru bless you all and curse princes". When Olwë calmed for a little, he ordered to open the Swan Palace for those in need. He was sure Fëanor, even if mad, would never attack a king.

'Burn their ships. They can't follow us. The servants of Valar will do their best to prevent us to fulfill our sacred mission' – Fëanor screamed.

After a very long moment, the coast became deadly silent. The light from burning ships looked terrifying when contrasted with the darkness of the night. Fëanor and his sons resembled rather the scary servants of the death not the elves of the Blessing Realm with their bloody swords. Those among Teleri who survived the massacre tried their best to remain silent and unnoticed. They proceed towards the royal palace or distant households. They dared not to look back, terribly scared to see attackers. Wounded did their best not to make any sounds, as they were afraid murderers would come back.

'Make sure no spy of Valar is lurking somewhere. We need to be sure. Once you confirm we are not tracked, come back to me'- Fëanor ordered Curufin and Maglor.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen's aunt had a house located in some distance from the city center, which let them heard screams from the distance. Those sitting inside exchanged terrified looks, unable to understand how elf could do anything like that to other elves. Killing each other were not among actions possible for them to even comprehend.

'We need to hide'- Nimwen proposed.

No one opposed her suggestions. Moreover, her aunt as the very cautions and wise elleth, decided to blew out all candles and asked everyone to hide in the winery. She also asked her husband to move chairs and table closer to the doors to ensure no one would trespass their household. They guessed the meaning of screams and fires but were wise enough to hide.

They failed to assess the time spend in the silence and darkness. When everything became silent, Nimwen felt it was the high time to leave the household. She felt the strong need to ensure parents in Tirion nothing wrong happened. Elleth was sure they must felt scared and worried and wanted no one to be anxious due to her actions. She felt that remained in the aunt's house for too long. She swore there was the light shining on the horizon, or at least something was there.

Nimwen realized that she needed to remain silent. She walked slowly and suddenly noticed the scared, shaking elleth few blocks away. She tore down her elegant dress to prepared a kind of the scarf for elleth. "Go there" – Nimwen pointed towards her aunt's house –"tell them than Nimwen sent you. My aunt will help". Elleth noticed blood and burns on the skin of the strange elleth, unfortunately knew nothing about the healing. She felt relieved, as the safe house stood close. Her mission was to notify parents. Teleri looked at her gratefully and cried. She thanked and went towards the suggested direction, whereas Nimwen chose the opposite path.

Soon after she was unlucky enough to meet Maglor and Curufin. Nimwen cursed her own stupidity and lack of caution. She realized that it was possible to notice them in advance. She made few steps back, when seeing the sword covered with blood and burned robes. Nimwen preferred not to know what happed and felt the escape is the only solution. They felt no need to talk, but had much darker plans feeling anger for what happened before.

'Who do we have here? The little favorite to Valar is so far away from the palace'- Curufin said with eyes blazing with anger – 'Your protectors failed to save our grandfather and will fail to save you'.

'What are you going to do?' – Maglor asked, perfectly aware of words by their father.

'She will face the fate of Teleri for stealing your glory from you. She had no talents to deserve such a grace'.

'Please wait, she ..'

Before Nimwen even managed to start thinking what was going to happen, Curufin torn the sapphire earrings from her. The jewelry was the gift from Manwë and symbolized her status. The pain made her cry and shocked. Nimwen couldn't understand why princes from the Blessing Realm resembled rather monsters from Utummo in their behavior. She realized they must have killed many from Teleri before and swords were full of blood. Now she was the next target, intensions were clear.

The whole situation became terrible. Nimwen didn't even think about using power of the domain of the air to scare them. She remembered direct order not to use her knowledge in the presence of elves. Moreover, even the weakest attempts to bite seemed more natural to her. She felt almost sick from fear, unable to act. She cried from the sudden pain when the sword made its way into her flesh.

She silently begged Maglor for help. Noldor looked at her with tears with his eyes but did nothing. He neither acted against young elleth nor tried to prevent brother from further actions. Maglor couldn't act against his father even for her. The next step on the pathway to the destruction was done, as he looked at evil deeds but refused to react. If he felt bad with what happened, he did nothing but repeated words of the Oath. They had no choice as they promised nothing was going to stop them "neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin" should be the reason to stop. Maglor looked sadly at the actions and realized he couldn't act against the cause greater than any of them. They split the innocent blood and entered the pathway to the destruction.

'I am aware that you liked her. We needed to take action to prevent her from telling Valar about them. We promised to fight everyone who will stand between us and Silmarills'- Curufin shouted – 'Teleri, following orders of Valar, refused to help us. She is not on our side'.

Maglor had no chance to answer. One of ships gave the signal to leave. Sons of Fëanor didn't want to be late for the great adventure. They left elleth blooding but still alive, sure she would soon meet her fate. She was dying and made no threat to their plans, being too weak to inform anyone about their plans. Nimwen seemed one of victims of incoming war. How Valar could be trusted if failed to defend own favorite?

Maglor gently touched her forehead and looked at her in silence. After the very long moment he bit his lips and spoke silently words of apologize "I am sorry, I was driven by the Oath in my actions". One was to attack unknown Teleri, but to kill old friend made the completely different story. Who knows how many terrible choices of this type were made? He cleaned the sword covered in blood and observed his first love bleeding to death because of him. They stood on the opposite sides now: they killed Teleri for their refusal and belief Valar stood behind their actions, whereas in her situation there were no doubts who she was loyal to.

'Father is getting impatient. We need to hurry' – Curufin said – 'Don't cry my brother. She is the favorite of Valar so maybe they will save her from the Halls of Mandos? If not, it will mean they lied to her as much as lied to us'.

Nimwen felt no will to live longer. Her wounds were deadly and the pain made her unable to think about anything else but dying. She heard nothing from their discussion, nor felt the gentle touch of Maglor. Elleth felt nothing but hate towards him. Nimwen cursed him in her very last moment of her life. She wanted nothing but to sleep forever. She shrined and cried, before closed her eyes and whisper "I am sorry to disappoint you all". After few moments her cautiousness left her.

[1] The time distance was deliberate

[2] The nuclear winter fitted best

[3] The full text is available in the Internet, unfortunately no links are permitted by ff


	12. Sun and Moon

Yavanna signed her songs around the Trees long enough to made her voice trembling. They had no idea what kind of poison was used, but seemed deadly beyond their ability to heal. Nienna probably cried all her healing tears. Even when two Valier joined forces, were helpless against the dark magic of Morgoth. Yavanna and Nienna realized the magnitude of their failure and hoped for success by others.

'Please take a look'- Nienna said and pointed at two, shiny objects.

Yavanna and her dark-haired friend exchanged glances. The miracle actually happened and two dying Trees had produced two last fruits before passed away. They realize the possible solution was present before their eyes and who knows...

'You managed to achieve the impossible'- others seemed impressed –'your achievements are much more amazing than ours'

'I will work on the necessary protection'- Aulë proposed – 'Now, it is the high time to dace other problems'.

'We should start with the most recent events in Alqualondë'- Námo said – 'There are dozens of souls coming to my Halls while we are speaking. When we were trying to find the new source of light, Fëanor arrived on the coast slaughtering everyone on his way to the Middle Earth'.

'I see fires and death'- Manwë said angrily – 'When we were concentrated on the Trees he killed. I am cursing him forever for his pride. Son of Finwë knew Tress were source of life and light and guessed we would try to save them.. He killed innocents when we were not looking!'.

'What shall we do now?'- Varda's delicate touch made him calmed.

'We need to send the messenger asking for coming back. They will be given two choices: the judgement or the eternal exile. I swear whatever he is planning for them, no mercy should come from our side' – it was too painful to pronounce name of the fallen brother.

'Cowards deserve the punishment'- Tulkas said – 'They should face enemies able to defend'.

'I will talk to them to deliver our message' – Námo said.

'We will gather our healers and send them to Alqualondë' – Irmo and Estë proposed in unison.

'I believe Ossë and Uinen will be the best ones for the mission to calm Teleri down – Ulmo proposed.

All among Valar agreed they needed to seek in their households for those most suitable to help Teleri and to understood the current situation among remaining elves. The next meeting was scheduled at the peak of the Taninquentil when Aulë would be done with his works. The last fruits of the Trees needed protection. Whatever their thoughts about Fëanor were, Valar left opinions for themselves not willing to use bad words.

'What happened to you?' – Varda had always known when something bothered her husband – 'Is there anything that bothers you?'

'I saw Nimwen. Do you remember she planned the familial visit in Alqualondë?'

'She was attached?'

'I saw her lying unconscious and bleeding'.

'We need to come back home' – she ordered, taking his hand – 'I will send Ilmarë to bring Nimwen to use. Here we are helpless' – Varda emphasized seeing her husband's face – 'It is neither safe nor straightforward to bring the soul from the Halls of Mandos. We need to go home and proceed with the necessary preparations as soon as possible. Ilmarë is my closest and as women possess the necessary delicacy. She is also powerful enough to keep Nimwen ready'.

Varda summoned her closest maiden few moments later. Maia was resembled her Queen as daughters sometimes resembled mothers. She was beautiful but now pale and tired. She cursed hearing the newest plea. " _There is no time for anger now. You need to carry Nimwen and be sure she will not pass the border. I know I am asking for a lot but you are my most trusted_ ". Ilmarë understood and quickly left towards Alqualondë. While walking the cursed Fëanor and his sons with the worst words. She almost cried seeing the remaining of the burned ships and dead elves lying in pools of their own blood. Those who survived, were given help from those who came from the Gardens of Lorien.

Ilmarë were given another mission. Maia had no problems to find the elleth lying on the sidewalk. Nimwen were pale and showed no signs of life. It was not the first time for Ilmarë to see such views. She remembered old war when she fought near Varda's side. It was impossible to even consider that elf managed to hurt another elf in the such manner. All actions by Fëanor and his sons were nothing but the blasphemy. She took unconscious elleth without any effort. Nimwen was pale and cold which made the worst possible sign. Ilmarë grabbed her and hoped for the miracle. No one deserved to die alone accompanied by the pain only. Elves committed the awful crime here in Aman which was considered as the blasphemy by both Valar and Maiar.

Xxxxxx

There was a limited amount of time when soul could be summoned from the Halls of Mandos. At the very beginning the connection between body and soul existed while soul was still travelling to its final destination. When the soul reached its final place no way to reconnect it with the body existed. Ilmarë had that knowledge and put a spell on Nimwen to strength dying woman. The process of keeping her in such state was tiring and Maia went quickly towards the palace.

Nimwen had no idea what was going on. She lost the track of the events, once wounds had become deadly. When her attackers had escaped, she felt into the almost final sleep. Elleth felt no touch neither realized that Ilmarë carried her. Unconscious and bleeding she arrived in the palace. The redness of her blood create the nasty contrast with the white, marble walls.

'Please, leave her on the sofa. We need to learn what exactly happened to her' – Varda ordered, clearly suggesting wounds by the sword might not be the worst.

'Is there anything I can do to help more?' – Ilmarë asked.

'You did your part excellent, thank you for your cooperation. Please take a sit and rest' – Queen whispered.

'I see the perfect armchair'- Maia answered, pointing at the place Nimwen used to sit and watch stars.

'We may start now'- she told to her husband. The great Vala was looking at the elleth furiously and his blue eyes were far from being calm.

'Shouldn't we clean her before the whole process?' – he asked clearly angry.

'No, not now: firstly, we need to restore the connection between body and soul. When succeed, we proceed to next steps'.

'My love, you are right as usual'.

Valië smiled, but said nothing. They had no time to waste. Elleth became pale and cold. The connection between her body and soul remained present, but very weak. They stood on two opposite sides of the sofa and took her hands. They also touched her forehead and by then creating closed, non-physical space. The space resembled a cage of a special kind preventing her soul from leaving body. Now next step needed to be performed: the connection required to be reinforced to prevent fëa from leaving the physical body, once cage collapse.

They started singing the silent, mysterious ballad once exchanged glances. If any elf or man by accident listened to the song would find no sense at all in it. Only few words resembled anything known in other languages, whereas most words seemed to consist of constants only. When words from the elvish appeared in the ballad, phrases sounded weird and even childish as "the cold stone felt into the water" or "the old tree had complexed roots". Phrases suited rather children's song than the song by Valar. They possessed the ability to shape the reality using words and singing and hoped to keep the soul here once provided the memory of known places. Their language impressed all living creatures even if few ever tried to speak it.

The white light appeared from their hands as if hands themselves were its source. The rays of unknown fluorescence covered the body of the elleth as the blanked and eventually escaped the chamber. Those who noticed the unknown source of light at the sky called it "the failing star" of some kind, nevertheless felt no fear.

The ritual was over. Both of them exchanged glances and observer the air trembling once affected by the power used. Walls in the Ilmarin palace absorbed most of the power. If anything similar even happened in the place without protection, the explosion would occur undoubtedly. It made the main reason why they needed to took the elleth to their household.

'Now, we have time to fix everything else. Let's not hesitate to clean and heal or poor little one will escape to the Halls of Mandos'- Varda said, glancing at Nimwen.

'We need to heal her and learn who is responsible for the attack'.

'My dear, please be patient. To heal the body is not the issue for us but to heal the spirit it. I need to know _what kind_ of wounds she is suffering from to decide about next steps'.

'Then, we have no time to loose. Also, we can't keep her in those... rags '- Manwë looked with the clear disgust at the dress covered with blood –'Please don't say you _suspect_..'

'No, _I am not_. Nevertheless, we have never suspected elf to murder other elf because of the Jewels. We can only guess what else happened as they were killing and lighting fires? Ilmarë and I will take care of Nimwen. The whole situation is delicate, believe me'.

'My role is to stand doing nothing?'.

'No, obviously not! Try to prepare to talk to her once Nimwen will be with us. It is much less complicated to heal the physical body..'

Xxxxxx

Maglor remained silent and only stoop when Curufin tried to kill her. The treason was more painful than the psychical wounds. Despite her education and knowledge, Nimwen failed to understood what caused such hate. Did she say or do anything to make Maglor hate her to vividly to clearly attempt the murder? It was the hate that drove them without any doubts as for her. When lying there clean and healed in her dark, nightgown. She looked as it were sleeping not coming back from the Halls of Mandos.

Nimwen felt wonderful when coming back to life, feeling nothing but the warmness. She was lying on the comfortable and cozy bed. She felt the delicate hand covering body with the silk nightgown and the warm water cleaning body from all tiredness or dirt. All pain disappeared: neither wounded ears nor the wound made by the invading sword hurt any more. " _We were wrong to be afraid of the Halls of Mandos. This place is wonderful_ "- she smiled to herself. There is neither pain nor despair in the land of dead.

Elleth screamed when realized she was in her chambers in the palace not in the Halls of Mandos. She touched her knees and tried to hide behind the quilt. When she noticed the delicate, female figure sitting at the edge of the bed she started to cry. She felt no joy when realized she was still alive. All Nimwen wanted was to curl in the bed and sleep, sleep forever when it came to her decision.

Young Nimwen felt neither need to any will to talk. She was crying helplessly when recalled the worst moments in her entire life. Previously she considered the marriage of Maglor as the worst. She was naïve as the child to perceive his decision painful. Stupid, foul and naïve child failed to see what made her deserve such an vicious attack. She spoke no angry words when it came to her first love or his wife. She has never considered elleth as the friend but for the Eru's sake this was not the crime. " _What I did to made you hate me so much_?"- Nimwen was crying helplessly, unable to speak using full sentences.

She was to busy crying to notify when her mentor was back. Even the thunder if hit the table nearby would probably remain unnoticed. She wouldn't worry if storm or anything hit the chamber. The heart was hurting and bleeding almost as if the wound were physical. Pain seemed overwhelming and then she recalled screams and fires from the Alqualondë. She remembered the sword covered with blood and might only guesses how many innocent elves died from hands of sons of Fëanor died.

'How is she?'- Vala asked, saying wordless "than you" for all the care his protégé received.

'She has been crying since regained consciousness'- Varda explained – 'I am not sure what happened at the coast, but seemed traumatic for her. I found no other wounds than of the sword origin. At least we can be sure she was not the victim of... I am afraid that if we should fail to calm her down'- she whispered.

'We will calm her down, there is no place for "if" now'.

'Maybe there is no place, but the solution still remains blurry. What made so many insane killers? There must have been a cause!'.

'There was a cause simple one: Fëanor and his pride. Let him be cursed forever!"

In the meantime, Nimwen felt too weak to cry any more. Single tears dropped down her pale face. The throat became sore after screaming so desperately. She spoke single words but no sentences, as was too devastated to control her behaviour. Nimwen didn't notice when light haired man sat close to her, obviously decided to initiate the talk.

'Nimwen'- he whispered silently, too silent to be heard.

She almost jumped when felt the delicate touch on her bare arm. The gesture helped to reconnect with the reality and unfroze the mind concentrated on the weird, painful state. She couldn't stop crying, but at least noticed the surrounding areas. She felt so weak and tired. The talk was at the bottom of the favourite actions to take. She wanted to curl in the bed and sleep, but needed to say something. Nimwen blinked few times unsure what to do next.

'Nimwen'- he repeated closing her in the friendly hug and letting no way to escape – 'Why are you keep repeating the word "no"?'

'I.. I don't know what to do next! I am so sore and tired now'- she explained –'why it all happened to me? Why neither my family nor Maglor can love me? Why am I always rejected? What is wrong with me? He hated me to much'- she kept crying –'I am helpless I am nothing but the problem to others'.

The couldn't stop crying once started to talk. She did her best to tell something wise, but failed her attempts. It was much too much. At the very beginning, her family made jokes from her clumsiness. She used to cry night by night and during days tried to impress them to be praised at least from time to time. Then she felt in love for the very first time and believed feelings were mutual. The rejection came as the complete astonishment: elleth understood nothing why it happened. The formal letter gave more questions than answers. Why? What was wrong with her? She kept repeating the question.

'These are your final words? Do you really intend to leave everyone behind? Do you believe no one but those rebellious ones?'- he continued in the cold voice. Vala never before spoke to any elf like that, except for Fëanor, but it made impression on crying woman –' do you think so low about the knowledge you claimed to posses, do you care so few for us all listen to them and them only?'.

'But, let me explain' – she interrupted in her normal voice as if there were discussing –'I have never claim to ..'

'This is your main message now'- he continued –' You made your opinions clear: nothing and no one really interests you. Nimwen, you clearly decided to leave us all and pay attention neither to us nor family or friends'- he finished, ignoring the look "please try to be more delicate than the axe dear" his wife have him.

The clearly cruel words helped the crying elleth to regain control on her emotions. She even tried to say something to prove the wrongs of given arguments but words failed to leave her mounts. She felt awful once noticed the sadness and huge disappointment present in the Vala's eyes. Nimwen realized the presence of the non-physical pain that had little to do with wounds done by sword. She worked hard to earn his trust and approval not only because of his position of power but rather the person of compassion, wisdom and the nobility. It was the great experience to hear him speaking about most ordinary elf in the cordial manner. Moreover, he had never used his position of power to made others follow his will. Probably those impression made her judgements of Finwë so hard. Maybe her opinions made Maglor hate her so much to attempt the murder?

'No, no '- she protested – 'I am very sorry, this was not my intention to hurt anyone. It hurts so much, I am sorry'- she finished, hiding her face in hands.

'Do not cry child, there is no need. Calm down and try to make the next step. I have no doubt you had terrible experiences on the coastal area. We need to learn more'- he replied in the cordial and warm voice. He also hugged crying elleth with the compassion letting her to calm down.

She calm down and regained control of the crying once hugged. She managed to speak once more, once felt the safety and understanding. She was as a child in the mother's arms when nothing wrong could happen. Such gestures seemed ordinary for many, but essential for the nervous elleth. She needed both tenderness and compassion as what Maglor did to he hurt. Nimwen realized there are other important people in her life and it was bad to speak only about the traitor and kinslayer.

'What do you except me to say?'- Nimwen asked biting her lip.

'Tell me who was responsible. Such a crime deserves a harsh punishment'.

'May I show you my memories?' – Nimwen asked, when recalled teachings concerning the communications between minds.

'Are you sure?' – he asked – 'It might be a violent to invade someone else's mind, especially someone outside my kind'.

'I know you will never hurt me' – she assured – 'please, I doubt in my ability to describe the whole situation in the appropriate way once I am so stressed'.

She felt too weak to even speak in her state. Elleth felt no feat when looked deeply in the deep, blue eyes. She was sure the worst is ahead. Nothing worse could happen than the treason. Nimwen felt than showing the memories might be the best. She concentrated on memories and tried to live the worst moments once more. The connection was far from being pleasant but not painful. Nimwen did nothing in her defence, but only showed what happened. She felt the cold in her mind and head, but the cold made her trembling. It reminded of swimming in the brook or a stream, less from being pleasant but not terrifying. The power and the majesty of person sitting close was almost intimidating. She hoped never to experience any force from him. She did what was right.

'What they did to you was beyond the forgiveness' – he said full of anger –'They are going to be very sorry and regret all their actions'- he assured Nimwen, who was tremblind once the connection was over. She felt unpleasant chills.

'Thank you very much'- she answered, looking at her hands.

'Now you need to rest, you need it ' – he promised and helped her to lie – 'You had difficult time, but both of those bastards are going to pay' – he promised and touched her cheek wet after crying. One gesture was sufficient to make her sleep.

'Bastards?' – Varda's voice seemed angry –'what did you find in _her_ memories?'

'Let us speak, but please not here' – he explained – 'our worst memories came true: Curufin and Maglor attached and left Nimwen for death because of us. As they explained, they wanted to punish "the little favourite of Valar"'.

'Both of them?' – Valië asked, trying her best to remain calm – 'correct me if I am wrong, but Nimwen has been crying because of her unfortunate love towards Maglor recently'

'This is how she chose her sweetheart! It was Curufin who did it to my protégé on my lands, whereas Maglor was standing there and thinking. He stopped his "actions" only when felt the signal to leave. I will tell them my opinions once we will meet…'

'Not now, firstly we need to solve the current crisis ' – she interrupted – ' and what is more important we need to wait once Aulë will finish his work. Once we will solve the most important problems, then we will try to think about the most appropriate punishment. They committed the awful crimes on our lands, they refused our help and started the war with us making you worried. Nevertheless, this is not the most important among what need to be done. I will help you to imprison those bastards in the Halls of Mandos, but not now'.

'You are right my love, you are so right. We have our responsibilities to fulfill now. Later, I will punish those two and my mercy is finished. My mercy is deadly, Fëanor and his sons proved me wrong. I will punish them even if needed to leave them chained at the gates of _his_ fortress'.

'They will not need our help if keep such behaviour ' – Varda explained – 'we from our side, will remain death and blind for the misery of them'.

He nodded and agreed with her arguments. His blue eyes were full of anger seen rarely by elves. Elves saw him only as the merciful and compassionate, but not vicious towards others. Valar were able to feel and react angrily on the rare occasions or not rare occasions in general but rare for elves. Valar realized their attitude of compassion and understanding were deadly and decided to change their behaviour. The reminder seemed the necessary if care and compassion were treated as the reason for the rebellion. Changes were about to come and by most were described as not pleasant. Elves lost their innocence when the bloody insanity ended their childhood. The dream of happiness and peace was over thanks to son of Finwë.

XXXXX

Aulë prepared promised devices and protection eventually used to create the sun and the moon. Those two object were the effect of the team work by all Valar. They managed to protect sun and moon in the way they had never considered as necessary for the Two Trees. Even the care for the members of households needed to wait as their most important duty was to provide the light and warm for all living beings in the Middle Earth. Also the new race of Men were supposed to arrive and awaited decisions of their fate.

The new gathering in the Ring of Doom took place in the less tragic situation than before, but still far from being the ordinary. Maiar were providing information about more and more groups of Noldor eager to leave to the Middle Earth. Artanis Nenwen, the granddaughter of Finwë, were among most visible of them. Other members of the royal family decided to join Fëanor in his adventures in the Middle Earth.

'No force need to be used to make them stay' – Irmo said –'they made their plans clear as well as they spoke clear about us and protection by us'.

'Please, we need to keep in mind Mel.. Morgoth is awaiting them in the Middle Earth' – Nienna interrupted – 'they are going into the trap, where their fate will reveal itself as the terrible'.

'The terrible fate became the fate of those poor souls in the Alqualondë – said Tulkas making his despise towards attack by Fëanor, his sons and their company clear.

'If they want to leave, we will let them leave' – Manwë decided, once heard all arguments by others – 'We invited elves to our lands to teach and protect them. Our helping hands were rejected with anger and hate almost. We all agreed that all race need to find their optimal solution with us working as teachers. Let them go, but once leave no return is possible neither help will be provided. They have right to live their lives as they considered as the best but we all need to follow the law' – he finished and others nodded in the agreement. The judgement was wise but not too merciful.

'Who will deliver the message?'- Ulmo asked.

'I will send my herald, unless there are volunteers siting here. We need to let them go any way of their choice and take anyone upset for their adventure'.

'Ships burnt' – someone interrupted.

'This is not my concern which way the rebellious will chose' – Manwë interrupted – 'The decision was made now the time for consequences will come. If they will die once try to cross the ice, their death will be the blessing. _He_ will turn their adventure into the nightmare. If they prefer to live in pain, fear and despair instead of safety and blessing we will not stop them! They made their opinions clear enough'.

It was unusual for him to speak in such a cold and reserved manner. The Vala seemed neither angry nor shouted, but the whole figure was surrounded and covered with the cold fury. His moral codex would never let him use force against elves or others, but decided to leave them alone with the Dark Lord. Others realized how painful the treachery of Melkor was painful for Manwë, who felt almost personally responsible for death of innocent Teleri. Manwë was not alone in his attitude and decided the rebellious Noldor needed to learn their decision, but Valar were less than eager to speak with elves personally. They were furious and upset with Fëanor and those who followed him, as well as tired after the creation of Sun and Moon, that decided to send the messengers to Noldor eager to leave.

Additionally, the route to Valinor need to be protected from the possible invasion. They worked together on series of illusions as the deceptive islands, dangerous streams followed by the traps by mind to let no one potentially vicious and danger to even come close. Only pure souls would be theoretically able to cross traps, but not without the guidance. They had another war with Melkor now and needed to protect their land and all living there. Once Valinor would be protected, war plans would be discussed.

'What are we going to do with Men?' – this was the last decision to made before the gathering would be done.

'Their fate will be different as Men will be free from the Music and constrained only by the weakness by physical bodies of them' - Námo explained.

'We are forbidden to offer them shelter in our land. It was the will by the Father for Men to stay in the Middle Earth. Once they will become the rulers of the eastern lands till the end of time, whereas we will rule only the Blessing Realm. We may guide them and send suggestions but it is Eru not we to have power among them' – Manwë explained – 'our decision to invite elves was a disaster. We will speak to Men through messengers as one day they will become rules of the distant lands'.

The Great Eagles of Manwë delivered very sad news to their lord and teacher. Morgoth started his vicious campaign against elves once landed and started killing and hunting elves living in the Middle Earth. He was torturing them and took in the slavery instead of simply killing. He used his victims to transformed elves into orcs using the darkest of the dark magic, finding the sick pleasure in hearing the most painful screaming. _"My dear brother, you started the war and imprisoned me in the name of our precious elves. I will reward them for your gentle heart and change them into the weak and ugly travesty of them. My old experiments from Utummo will be nothing when compared with the revenge_ "- he told cruel words once noticed the presence of the Great Eagles. The message made Valar terrified and sad, once aware of the price of old mistakes. " _We will never speak to Men openly, but rather whisper through stars, waters, dreams, air and earth. We will be the silent whisper of compassion and advice, barely recognizable. They may be saved from his revenge if seemed left alone. He is too powerful for us. We need to find the way to weaken him as the war now will be deadly for all living beings in the neighbourhood. We will help all pure souls with wisdom and hope, none one kinslayers will even get our help"._ The judgement finished the discussion and the gathering was over. There were other problems awaited solution in their households. Valar followed the decision and in the memory of human race the presence of the friendly spirits would become the common knowledge till the end of time. The guiding spirit, angels of the ancestral spirits would be known to listen to prayers for those in need.

Melian, Queen of Doriath was informed by the Great Eagles what happened in Valinor. Eagles told her about the destruction of the Two Trees with the clear instruction to protect elves from Doriath from both the fallen Valar as well as Fëanor and those who followed son of Finwë. " _You are obliged as the Queen to protect you land and elves living there. Murderers will arrive soon, take any means necessary_ ". She trembled hearing the news, not sure if terrified by the destruction that took place of by the clear to use any force and power necessary by Valar. It was forbidden for Ainur to attach other races, but it was not forbidden to protect.

* * *

 **A/N:** Nimwen was hysterical here didn't she? Maybe she needed a strong prod.

I've always wondered why Valar did their best to distant themselves from the Men. I don't think any kind of patronising and feeling superior towards mortals not shiny enough for the grace was the matter. Who knowns, maybe actions by Fëanor showed them the Children to Eru are much stubborn and complicated than they initially thought? I also remember the fragment from the "Simarillion" explicitly saying Melkor/Morgoth hated elves among others as Valar started the war against him in their name and cause. I couldn't help with the impression that he treated people and dwarves better (=less cruel) then elves.


	13. The dawn of the new day

Nimwen's siblings were getting terribly scared, once it had become clear what happened. Aunt took care and provided necessary care to lost elleth. Girl told horrific stories about horror that had recently happened in Alqualondë as the result of actions of Fëanor. Prince and his followers killed literally everybody on their way including children and their mothers. "They are gone now"- elleth kept saying. Nimwen's aunt felt safe. She didn't worry about her niece, who would go straight to the palace at the holy mountain of Taninquentil. Those who survived, desperately needed help.

Majority of Teleri of Alqualondë were walking around in those painful days. Even members of the royal family left palace and joined their people in the common grief. Those who lost houses in recent events were given shelter and temporal place in the royal palace. Followers of Fëanor and his sons not only killed anyone who opposed them but robbed any potentially necessary goods. They claimed to have right to take what needed from "servants to Valar". All possible crimes became part of destiny of sons of Fëanor, who believed bloody actions to be right and just action.

Nimwen's aunt, born as Noldor but Teleri in heart, clenched her fists in the helpless anger. She remained sane as long as she believed her family remained safe. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for elleth to realize their family was among those affected. When sister and brother-in-law arrived on the doorstep terribly scared, she realized they came in the great despair.

'Is Nimwen somewhere around?' – mother asked – 'We have seen and heard scary news. Is this a true? Did Fëanor and others really commit crimes here? Did they kill many innocent Teleri?'.

'She left my household and set out for Tirion. Who knowns if Nimwen didn't go straight to the..'

'Impossible'- mother interrupted – 'If Nimwen arrived at the Ilmarin, she would notify us. We need to find her!'.

'Let's try to determine possible options. Where did she go? What could possibly happen?'

Two elleths exchanged worried looks. If it wasn't for the recent tragic events, they would even not start worrying. Nimwen's disappearance could have been nothing but effect of heart's desire and meeting with sweetheart. Such scenario was even desired in Nimwen's situation after such an unfortunate history with Maglor.

None of Nimwen's relatives suspected terrible truth. Even in their worst nightmares it seemed impossible to suspect her of walking down the streets when city was burning. All actions to come needed to be careful and well planned. Last events showed how fragile was elvish defense against the darkness. They walked around hoping to find Nimwen. Who knows how devastated mother would become if saw bleeding daughter.

In the meantime, Nimwen faced slightly different problems. Soon after she woke up, memories of recent events attached her mind. She lied as the child on her bed, trying her best not to feel the pain of the broken heart. Over and over again she kept asking what happened and caused elves to commit crimes. When she finally decided to stand up, scarf was needed to protect from inner cold.

'I need to find a proper gown'- she whispered – 'I need to dress and hide my feelings. Depth of my heart is the proper place for pain. Smile will enter my lips as I cannot make _them_ angry'.

She didn't forget her family. She cared for them, even though their mutual relation used to be tough. Nimwen felt overwhelmed with emotions caused by recent events. She was sitting on her bed, trying to plan next steps. After all, Nimwen realized she spend too much time crying on the sofa. She selected comfortable dress and long scarf. Short walk seemed not a bad idea, especially as she felt shocked after all that happened yesterday.

'Are you all right Nimwen? You spend the whole day in your room, which is nor usual behavior for you. It is almost a dinner time!'- voice of Manwë made her jump.

'I … thank you' – she said.

'Nimwen, if there is anything I can do to help..'- he asked.

'I feel very tired, please tell me what happened at the Haven?'

'So many terrible things but do not be bother with crimes of Fëanor now. Even though I don't even try to imagine how it is to come back from the Halls of Mandos, I am able to notice how tired and sick you look'.

'Why did he left me alone? Why Maglor stand, when his brother was killing me? What I did to him to deserve such a treatment?' – she asked.

'You did nothing' – Manwë explained – 'You were as guilt as Teleri: you crossed their way and refused to help'.

He told her about the Oath and all actions at the coast. She cuddled while hearing how terrible actions took place in Alqualondë. To kill innocents and to burn ships resembled rather crimes of Urummo's monsters rather than deeds of Prince of Noldor who claimed to be the greatest among elves. She realized she was among many other victims of their insanity, even though it helped only a little. Kinslayers left her bleeding without a reason. She tried to understood what happened, what did she said or done to deserve such a treatment. There was no answer, but the desperately looked for such answer making Manwë frustrated. " _We killed abominations of Utummo_ "- he told his wife in the evening – " _It is not a solution to kill Fëanor, he caused such a misery! Moreover, I need to take care of Nimwen. Noldor tend to test my patience when refuse to listen_ ". It wasn't straightforward to talk to heartbroken elleth. She refused to listen, but he needed to remain calm and polite.

After long discussions, Nimwen at least decided to go to the Library. Reading were no longer as exciting as used to be. Nevertheless, translations required concertation and helped Nimwen to think not only about her broken heart. She was among few elves speaking Valarin fluently and decided to translate as many scrolls and books as possible and give to Calanon and others. Nimwen got no idea what is going to happen in the future, but it is always advisable to learn about the past. She didn't bother to choose dress, as inner cold made her insensitive.

Nimwen immediately send letter to her parents. It took some time to write the most appropriate words, while pieces of parchments were lying around. Even though she spent almost whole her life learning how to speak and studying, suitable words failed to come to her mind. Part of her wanted compassion and almost cried. The other part was rational. Eventually, Nimwen assured there is no reason to be worried. She briefly mentioned unfortunate meeting and later fight with sons of Fëanor, revealing only the partial truth. Parents were so proud from her and her achievements. Pity would destroy the picture and one more time she would be the victim. Was she a bad person, once trying to make her relatives satisfied?

Nimwen worked hard to fulfill all her duties, even if her perception of own life was altered. When she dwelled with Calanon, she truly believed reading scrolls and getting new knowledge is her dream life. Nimwen considered home of the scholar of Vanyar as her place. Later, as the Disciple, she walked around elves to teach them. This was her role. She used to criticize decision of Finwë to leave their country openly. Nimwen had rationale behind words: she believed that it is a great responsibility to be a king and that king needed to fulfill royal duties. Crown and privileges made only a piece of the picture. She hated Fëanor and his sons so much, that she cried many nights helpless in anger. Nimwen felt terrible and almost wanted to back to the Halls of Mandos.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen realized that caution is needed. No one could possibly notice signs of tears and insomnia. She felt too tired to answer questions. The threat of being considered as ungrateful scared her terribly: she received such a grace and attention from everyone! Elleth planned meeting with parents over and over again, while walking around the room with tooth clenched and head full of anger. She realized what really happened needed to remain in secret. They didn't and even shouldn't know. Silence is golden after all.

'I believe you required additional care'- the clear care in Manwë's voice implicated long discussion – 'We are not soul healers, but if you decide to visit Gardens of Lorien..'

'I am sure that there are plenty of elves more hurt than I am in the Gardens already'- she explained- 'Please, give me more time. I am able to deal with my problems on my own'.

'You speak about time, but what is the period of time you are asking for? You are still in mourn. Trust me, we all need to honor innocent Teleri who perish, but even mourning time has its limits. Future is the direction you ought to concentrate on. We all have someone who care..' – he said making Nimwen look in his eyes.

'You words reached me'- she assured biting her lip – 'We all need to proceed, even if it hurt so much. We need to draw conclusions for… others who surrounds us'.

'Precisely' – he continued – 'I am aware of your suffering as I know how you loved Maglor. It is gone. The new day has come and tears need to be washed'.

'Yes'- she nodded – 'I, I will accept Calanon's invitation and join him on the feast. Additionally, I am almost done with my newest translation'.

'Excellent news'- he said, cuddling Nimwen in the father-like gesture. She became more calm and controlled – 'Live of every single soul in my country is altered forever. Crimes of Fëanor and his sons, as long as exile of majority of Noldor ended the whole period of history. When Spring of Arda was gone, it was the end of juvenile time for my kin. The rebellion of Fëanor ended a special period of adulthood. There is no way back'.

'What happened? You sounded worried. Is there anything I can do?' – she asked. In this particular moment Nimwen stopped thinking about her nom-existing love life and broken heart.

'Actually not, but thank you for asking'- he explained, combing long, dark hair of Nimwen with fingers. Gesture made her more focused.- 'You and Mahtan worked hard to calm emotions of more reasonable Noldor down. In case you haven't hear yet, note that interregnum is the political situation now'.

She got his point almost immediately. Nimwen combined all she heard about most recent events in one, simple conclusion. After Finwë was deceased, his sons and grandsons left for the exile. No single male heir was left in Valinor. No one could now inherit throne of Finwë, as the royal family was literally gone. Nimwen studied political and social system of Valinor to realized what happened. Valar promised not to interfere in elvish kingdoms as long as laws are obeyed. Local interregnum appeared and elleth were guessing possible scenarios. Wife of the youngers sons of former king, Earwën of Teleri, left to her father's household with her close friend, wife of Fingolfin. Both elleths were devastated with the recent events and thus showing limited interests in the royal court. In fact, the royal court seemed not to exist anymore.

In the meantime, queen Indis dwelt with her kin. She started one more time to spend her time on poetry, meditations and discussions. It gave her inner peace necessary to overcome grief after husband's brutal assassination. Even worse fate became the fate of her children and grandchildren who left for exile. The had nothing precious left in Tirion any more. Friends awaited her at the shores of Taninquentil. Nimwen joined them and hear several discussions about future of Noldor. They needed ruler, but trusty one. Whenever Nimwen discussed poetry and politics she felt slightly better.

Calanon and Idhrenion showed a great interest towards Indis. Old teacher of Nimwen spent a significant amount of time with queen, when Finwë left for exile. Calanon's interest became obvious for all observers, including Nimwen. She spoke no single words of comment. Even if she considered his attention as unusual for casual help. Calanon deserved mature and wise companion, even if nothing else than friendship was possible. Nimwen tried not to judge, especially if she trusted Cananon's wisdom and experience. He warned her that Maglor would make her cry. She promised herself not to be so naïve anymore.

'Finarfin, the youngest son of Finwë decided to back'- Manwë said after the moment of silence – 'Words of Námo scared him enough to come back as the scared child, even if not sooner before he considered himself as equal to us. He wanted power and adventures and believed such dreams may come true'- Vala's voice sounded harsh. He let himself to use such tone only in the presence of members of his closest circle, never when meeting delegates of elves – 'Finwë was the first to forger being a king means duties and responsibilities. He left his people, his wife and children to follow Fëanor. Then, Fëanor and his sons murdered everyone standing on his road to madness. His brothers and their children followed them. They all paid no attention to those among Noldor who want to leave in peace. Do you guess what is the worst part?'

'Are they in danger?'- Nimwen asked shyly.

'You cannot even imagine the threat awaiting' – he explained – 'If they decided to back, we will judge them for their crimes. _My_ judgement would be painless. As the result they would walked in the spiritual form around the Halls of Mandos. They are in the rush now to meet _him_. My Eagles told me how _he_ started to hunt down elves of the Middle Earth. Other of Noldor are now travelling through deadly ice to meet enemy who is going to torture them. He wants to transform elves into the abominations. There is no coming back and kinslayers and those who joined them will pay for crimes with unnumbered tears. I will not be compassionate any more'- he said with such coldness in his voice, that Nimwen shacked.

'What about Finarfin?'- she asked getting more and more scared.

'He and all of those who followed him is going to answer several questions during the trials. We are not in the mood for the forgiveness. Even if we give him the second chance, is he capable of ruling Noldor? Tirion is the city of Noldor, but house of Finwë clearly showed to be not worth trusting. I know what you and Mahtan used to meet the group that take care of city and its inhabitants. I am not going to say any single word against your actions. Nevertheless, as you initiated actions it is your duty to continue'.

Nimwen didn't know whether words of coldness of Manwë's voice scared her more. His anger was not towards her obviously, as he still cuddled her in the father-like manner. Those gesture made the enormous contrast with the way he spoke. Nimwen felt cold shivers at her back. The changes are coming and all elves need to think about the future. She was getting seriously scared. She heard how people of Tirion perceived the Union of Mahtan and Mahtan himself. The blacksmith became something more than leader of the Union and tutor to many. Is it even possible for him.. If Finarfin failed to get pardon, there would be no one left to inherit the throne. It made Nimwen almost jump.

She realized there was a chaos among Noldor with her in the middle. As long as Fingolfin ruled Noldor, the Union did nothing except for teaching young elfings skilled in craft, meeting and exchanging opinions. When all descendants of Finwë left, just as their former king did, only the one group was politically strong enough. Nimwen finally realized what the discussion was about.

'Shall I tell you more about the Union?'- she asked.

'Not yet my child. I am aware of your state: how sad and tired you are. It makes me very sad not to be able to do anything more to help. You may be asked to speak during the Finarfin's trial as one of the witnesses. I need to speak to both sides before decide on the proper judgement. Fear not' – he assured seeing terrified look of elleth- 'You are.. part of my household and I will let no one to hurt you. Everyone deserve to speak during the trial and no voice shall be ignored. I trust your wisdom to speak truly and answer all questions correctly'.

Nimwen understood and thanked for the trust. She felt too weak to take any other actions. When Mahtan and her initiated their meetings with people of Tirion no one suspected how it all going to end up. When Fëanor persuaded many to leave any words of wisdom and reassurance were priceless. Prince caused definitely enough tough emotions. The Union started to be considered almost as rebellious when they refused to acknowledge king's decision to leave. All who followed and believed in words of Fëanor were gone now. Those who remained felt betrayed by the royal family. When Earwën and Indis left for good they received only the confirmation. She cursed several times sure than Mahtan is now cursing aloud in his forge.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen was not the only Disciple to suffered a great loss in Alqualondë. Nesseldë was in the middle of the living nightmare now, but contrary to Nimwen decided not to hide her feelings. She was crying helplessly and slept in the Gardens of Lorien when tiredness became too overwhelming. Elleth was blind towards the beauty of surrounding gardens. She barely noticed the world around.

She spent the kinslaying safe and far away from the nightmare. When light of the Trees disappeared Nesseldë remained in home. She listened to Maiar who advised to wait for the solution proposed by Valar. She had no reason to run to parents and brother in the darkness. There were no signs of the possible threat. She had an idea neither about the Oath of Fëanor nor his insane plans.

It was then, when kinslaying became the common knowledge. Before anyone could stop her, she run towards her hometown of Alqualondë. Never she forgot the view of the destruction. Bodies of victims were already removed from streets. The feeling of mourning was overwhelming. Elves of the Blessing Realm were forced to recall old funeral customs. Ages ago, when they lived in the twilight of the Middle Earth, pain and fear were part of their lives. It could be gone in the Blessing Reals, but happiness was over thanks to Fëanor.

The delegation from Tirion arrived once the greatest chaos was gone. Finarfin's fate was still not decided. The interregnum was then still the official state of power for Noldor. Most influenced among the Union, including Mahtan, friends of him as well as father and brother to Nimwen took actions. They proclaimed role of former elderly and royal advisory boards. They had a little opposition as the strongest opponents were gone as sons of Finwë, whereas those who stayed wanted nothing but to forget nightmares.

'We may suffer terribly because of this bloody renegade' – Mahtan said angrily and his face went red – 'We need to send out craftsman and builders to help Teleri. It is our duty to prove, that not all Noldor are cowards and killers. We need to help them to start a new life after the great loss. I disown my grandsons and want to apologize for their actions. Not only kinslayer is capable of new creation. We will provide Teleri with all necessary help'.

'You are not to be blamed, the honorable blacksmith you are my friend'- one of elves from the Union said – 'You are as innocent as noble Nerdanel is innocent. Her vicious husband and sons betrayed her. Let Fëanor be cursed forever! Let Eru throw them into the Darkness and Valar judge harshly!'.

'Let him be cursed forever for his actions. Let the divine anger be his fate! Let him be cursed forever for stealing honor from Noldor'- elves repeated.

They decided to send the emissaries to Alqualondë without a single opposite voice. At the very beginning, Teleri reacted with distrust but never forgot the gesture. They hated Fëanor and his kin. The Union clearly explained lack of their association with the royal family. Those among Noldor who remained openly cursed Fëanor, claiming to be the "voice of reason".

'Put no blame on them' – Olwë explained – 'They send the messenger to warn us. Now, those Union tried to help. Let the house of Fëanor and all who followed them be cursed forever. All among Noldor who is in the opposition is our ally'.

Nesseldë put no interest in the politics. She was searching for her family. Elleth run to her family house, praying for her family. She found no one in the building, however plates were already prepared for the dinner. Women living nearby explained that brother and father were still at the seaside when the worst came. The neighbor said nothing more, which made Nesseldë terribly scared. The fact that older elleth tried to persuade her to stay, made her scared.

Too quickly she found her father and brother lying lifelessly. Their light cloths were covered with blood, while they lied close to the skeletons of burned ships. Nesseldë realized that whoever killed her family, knew how to use the swords: wounds were deadly. She touched their cold, lifeless bodies and felt terrible.

Pain hit elleth mercilessly. She touched hands of father and brother, barely seeing anything because of tears. She started to crying and screaming so loud, that a group of Teleri gathered around. Few elves tried to help and made her leave dead bodies. Nesseldë, still on her knees, failed to notice anything in the surroundings.

Nesseldë believed the worst was ahead, when noticed the dead body of mother. Elder elleth lied close to corpses of husband and son. She showed no signs of life. Nesseldë tried to find the fatal wound on mother's body, but failed to notice any trace of blood. Face of the elder elleth was deadly pale. Eyes were wide with horror and would remain in this state forever. Nesseldë realized that mother died from shock when realized the fate of husband and son. She also understood that her closest family was gone forever.

She failed to notice when someone took her from the close proximity of dead bodies. Nesseldë tried to protest, tried to stay but felt too tired after long watch. Strong arms surrounded her and darkness came. She felt asleep only to woke up in her bed in the Gardens of Lorien. It didn't take long time to recall vision of burned ships and dead bodies of relatives. She started to cry and continue crying as long as felt too tired.

Soon after Nessledë heard stories of Noldorian prince who killed innocent Teleri with his followers. Elleth clenched her fists, for the very first time feeling hate towards other elf. The acolytes of Estë made her drink several mixtures. Mixtures helped only a little. Nesseldë felt need to scream, but even the whole sea of tears could heal the broken heart.

'Don't let the shadows to enter your heart. If you let them to become a part of you, the murdered will win' – Irmo said. His words made the strong impression on the elleth – 'live your life after mourning for them'.

'Thanks to Fëanor' – she almost spat – 'Never again I will be able to talk to my family'.

'No, you will not. Nevertheless, your parents and brother loved you very much. I am sure they wanted you to be happy'- Irmo assured.

Nesseldë nodded even if doubts remained in her heart. She cried and felt terribly hurt, but were still able to listen. She hated kinslayers so much, that found peace in memories of shadows from Utummo and terrible fate awaiting. Irmo informed her what happened in the Middle Earth and how Melkor started to hunt elves down. "Those who decided to leave, will suffer terribly. I feel pity not for them, but those who used to dwelt peacefully in the forests of the Middle Earth. They are forced to live in the shadow of the Dark Lord" – Nesseldë recalled words time after time. Many among Teleri wished all the worst to Fëanor, his sons and followers. Melkor perfectly knew how to use the ambition and pride of Fëanor against him. He made him commit unforgivable crimes that caused deadly hate.

'There is no help and coming back for you prince'- Melkor spoke, walking down the corridors of Angband. Pain of the burned hands made him angry – 'Your kin will rather kill you than help in any way. My pious family will leave you and your sons on my grace. They will not interfere, when I will be killing you'. Fëanor had no idea that gates of Doriath were closed for him and his sons for good. When they sailed east, so many words and speeches were told. It all would turn into ashes when meet with the terrible enemy.

Those words became known to elleth crying in the most beautiful gardens of the word. The misery that Noldor suffered in the Middle Earth, was considered as the fair punishment for their crimes. Teleri never forgave kinslaying in Alqualondë. Nesseldë had no idea how long she cried, hearing the soft voice of Irmo. Her childhood ended in the painful tragedy. She was devastated young elleth now, just as Nimwen.

Nesseldë heard how her friend was attacked. "Fëanor showed little compassion not only towards Teleri but his own kin as well. He hated any voice of peace and reason. Eru punished Noldor by such princes. The kinslayer brothers did nothing to stop them, nevertheless that to expect from sons of the kind who left his children, wife and people"- the Union kept saying. Nesseldë spoke little when heard news. Elleth bite her lips so hard, that red blood appeared on her beard. She left her thoughts hidden, but eventually went towards Alqualondë, particularly to the Swan Palace.

* * *

A/N: The trial of Finarfin will be described in the next chapter. This particular elf has never before caught my special attention. I got impression he needed to comprehend all the new reality that came after the rebellion. I believe those among Noldor who remained in Aman, might be angry with actions of house of Finwe. Let's imagine that literally the whole royal family of UK one day decide to leave the country to conquer the moon. Moreover, they tried to persuade their people to follow. Some of people will follow them, whereas other will consider such ideas as mad. Moreover, the second group will not love the royal family..


	14. The decision by Finarfin

**Cyrus559** : Many thanks for the inspiration for the hard work of the translation. You remember events correctly. Finarfin didn't kill anyone in kinslaying. Unfortunately, he was the prince of Noldor and brother to kinslayer in the situation when many felt mad at Feanor and those who left. I personally think that his situation was difficult: Teleri probably hated Noldor, especially those of the royal blood, those Noldor who remained in Tirion might felt betrayed by the royal family whereas Vanyar were shocked. My guess is that he faced several problems after came back. In following chapters I will describe possible scenario for him to face all issues.

* * *

Prince Finarfin reached the shore once the worst happened. His people as well as those lead by Fingolfin noticed empty streets and burning ships. Teleri had already accused them for doing nothing, even if they had nothing to do. The reality turned to be much worse than worst of their nightmares ever.

Both Finarfin and Fingolfin failed to calm emotions down. Their kids as well as many friends and other Noldor seemed excited about the possible trip to the Middle Earth. They discussed not whether to leave the Blessing Realm or not, but rather whether which way to select. Once they noticed dead bodies of Teleri, Noldor felt pity but wanted to start the new life in the Middle Earth as Valinor seemed warm and peaceful, but also somehow boring.

'Do not turn back. Let's proceed to the Middle Earth, where we will find out freedom'.

Any attempt to calm emotions down was treated almost as the act of the treason. Noldor made decision and wanted their princes to guide them. Many among those gathered felt little love towards Fëanor and refused to swear his Oath. The only connection between those groups was their strong will to leave the Aman. It became clear for both sons of Finwë, but Fingolfin decided to speak. Despite his personal opinion and all doubts he had, his voice remained calm and strong. It was his duty after all.

'I will join you and guide through the northern path. Are you ready for the departure?'- he asked.

'We will praise out wise and good king Fingolfin in our journey and later!'

'Let's proceed to the Middle Earth'- he said.

Fingolfin nodded to those who seemed scared and less excited about the planned journey. He even seemed relieved once realized not all among Noldor decided to listen to emotions instead of the common sense. It was risky to follow steps of the fallen Vala. " _Farewell my brother_ "- he told to Finarfin, scared by the words of Mandos. The speech by the scary Vala was heard by everyone at the shore. The youngest son of Finwë, accompanied by his people, decided to come back. They knew the forgiveness by Valar would be crucial, but none of them suspected how upset Lords of the West went with all this rebellion. They knew Valar as wise and cordial. Finarfin was sure he would explain the situation briefly and took his place on the throne of his father. " _There is no one noble enough to rule Noldor_ ". What Finarfin and his people failed to predict was the reaction of elves from Valinor.

Teleri observed them with fear and hate clearly visible in their eyes; seeing Finarfin as one of kinslayers who covered the sacred land of Aman with the innocent blood. Teleri saw Finarfin who followed Fëanor to eventually abandon the cause of brothers. They were too shocked and so deep in the grief that failed to noticed the exact timeline where sons of Finwë arrived in their lands. They cursed all princes of Noldor, feeling no will to even consider the forgiveness. Nevertheless, the one, particular meeting almost broke the heart of the prince.

'Are you now satisfied? No, you are not as I can see'- Finarfin failed to notice when his wife Earwën approached from the back alley – 'You stepped towards dead bodies of my people to initiate your adventure. Why did you come back?'

'This is not the time to..'- he stared but lost his speech once noticed the look wife gave him.

'Alas, this is the time of mourning not discussions. Please, let us mourn our friends'- she asked, clearly suggesting Finarfin is not welcomed.

The harsh greeting by Earwën was only the beginning of the worst. Finarfin had little time even to think, before the messenger of Manwë arrived. Eonwë ordered them to follow him soon after he had greeted them politely but coldly. " _You will face the chargers soon_ "- Maia explained – " _one by one you will be asked questions_ ". He said no more and guided elves to the Ring of Doom in the perfect silence. Finarfin wondered if they would be questioned all at one or separately.

He soon realized that the second answer was right. Eonwë ordered his companions to leave and waited in chambers behind the line of thrones. Finarfin observed the place inaccessible by elves with both fascination and fear. He looked at walls built from unknown, silver-gray marble. The chamber seemed higher than palace in Tirion; high enough to touch the sky. The distant ceiling resembled rather starry sky than ceiling made from wood and marble present in houses of Noldor. The whole place was poorly lighten, which resembled twilight rather than daylight. It was clear that place is ancient and barely seen by elves.

Thrones were placed in the perfect circle around the central place, where Finarfin stayed. He also realized the central part of the chamber is also the lightest, but surrounded by walls and rest of the room covered by the twilight. He almost felt pairs of eyes that observed him carefully, which made him feel less confident. Finarfin had no doubt it was deliberate to make the person in the central feel observed by creatures sitting in the darkness. He noticed Valar siting on their places in the perfect silence. Their faces appeared emotionless. Even if those married touched spouse's hands gesture failed to warm the overall atmosphere up. Finarfin felt cold, not the physical but mental cold that freeze the soul.

'Finarfin, son of Finwë, what is the reason that bring you to us?'- the voice of Manwë was so deep and cold, that Finarfin jumped in the panic. Never before he had heard the Lord of Valar to speak in such manner.

'I decided to come back, after the messenger had ordered us to stop our actions' – Finarfin explained.

'You listened to my words, but what is your goal?'- Námo asked. As for the elf, Doomsman of Valar seemed even more mysterious and frightening than even before.

'I.. I came here to beg for the forgiveness' – Finarfin said.

'What is the action you desire the forgiveness for?' – Manwë asked coldly – 'Son of Finwë, make a wise usage from your words'.

Finarfin swallowed the saliva loudly. No elf had ever heard Lords of the West speaking in such manner. He realized his came back would be more difficult than anyone suspected. " _Teleri are among many of those angry with my actions_ "- Finarfin murmured – " _it was Valar who ordered us to come back. I don't understand why they became so cold"._ No gift of the clairvoyance was needed to see their limited will for the forgiveness.

'Lord, I listened to your words'- Finarfin explained – 'I decided to come back to my people, to live with them in your lads, Lords of the West'.

'You realized that this country belongs to us, doesn't you Noldo?' – Finarfin heard other cold voice without any trace of the compassion – 'What do you have to say for yourself?'

'I.. I was such a fool'- elf started, bur the words abandoned him.

Finarfin looked at the mighty beings that surrounded him. All emotions remained hidden from their faces. They spoke in the polite ye insensitive manner that made clear for Finarfin that the incoming discussion would be far from any trouble. Prince wondered whether he need to fall on his knees, made his confession dramatic or simply explained what happened. The icy atmosphere of the Ring of Doom suggested the first option as the best.

He felt on his knees even as being the prince never before had even considered such an option. Finarfin realized that beings that surrounded him were older and more powerful than elves. Unfortunately Valar seemed not willing to forgive him just by hearing the confession. When he felt on his knees no even the most subtle gesture suggested him to stand. It was the memorable moment as before, Valar keep telling them no such gestures were necessary. _"I wanted to follow my children and my people. The oldest brother of mine went mad after our father died. Many required protection from his madness! I only tried to fulfill my duties! Nevertheless, fear entered my hear when I heard about the curse_..". He observed Valar and awaited reactions by them, but Lords of the West remained controlled and emotionless.

'Did you think about your people here in Valinor? Prince, are there not worthy your care?'- the voice of Manwë almost froze the air – 'Did you decide to follow your father's steps and abandon them?'.

'Father of mine was the great king, deeply caring for Noldor'- Finarfin protested. He probably spoke in the too harsh manner, while driven by the loyalty.

'Was it the care for Noldor that told him to leave his wife and children and leave in Formenos as the exiled king?'- Tulkas said with the gloomy voice – 'We shall not be surprised by the rebellion of Noldor as their own king showed that emotions are more important than duties. They followed their king after all'.

'Actions of Finwë are not the subject of the current trial'- Nessa said, trying to avoid discussions in front of the elf.

'Finwë abandon his duties, left his city, family and people and disappear. I will find neither compassion nor understanding for the king who escaped royal duties. Those two cases are correlated as father behaved in the wrong way. Nevertheless, my lady you are right this is not the time for such discussions'- Manwë said politely – 'Do not forget who you are talking to Finarfin, and calm your voice down'- he continued coldly – 'Answer my previous question and tell me what about your people here, in Valinor. Do not make me ask you for the third time!'.

Finarfin trembled once realized Valar are angry with actions by his whole family. He was the one to come back and forced to face their anger. Prince realized that coming back was not as great idea as he initially imagined. He had no time to change his ways as the another escape was not the option. He needed to face consequences. Many left, while he was the one worth to rule Noldor. He observed Valar sitting on their thrones and tried to plan his next steps. Unfortunately for him they remained emotionless and cold.

'I believe my people here to be safe'- he said slowly – 'words of Fëanor made me scared on the other hand. I followed him from fear to accompany those among Noldor who seemed more in danger for me. Last but not least I needed to consider decisions made by my children. All of them became so excited with adventures that refused to listen to any arguments'.

'You came back eventually and left your children, you _claim_ to care for, alone. You were too scared to accompany children of yours to the unknown'- Vána said in the compassionless voice.

'Alas, as the treason and lack of the loyalty are familial traits to the House of Finwë'- Oromë supported Vána's words, refusing even to look at the elf.

Finarfin tried to explain all his actions but his voice abandoned him. It didn't take long for him to realize why the Huntsman of Valar spoke so coldly about his family. Celegorm, one of the kinsylayers, used to be friend to Oromë and accompanied him several times. Elf used to talk a lot about hunting trips with Vala and his closest companions. Vána joined them from time to time and rode on her horse wearing the flower crown. Was that the reason for such a cold welcome, that Finarfin was given?

Prince realized that Valar as well as elves were looking for friends. It became clear for him some time ago as well as he understood Valar shared their love towards this world. The treason hurts always, whereas his family seemed to upset more than one among Lords of the West. Father used to be the guest at the Taninquentil and even convinced Varda herself to let Maglor read books from the Library.

'They proved the lack of loyalty more than once, whereas mistakes committed by members of the House of Finwë required the long discussion'- Manwë concluded – ' Finarfin, if you have nothing else to say, wait for the next hearing'.

Xxxxxx

Prince nodded and left the Ring of Doom. He saw the passage behind the thrones. Stairs went down to the small corridor and doors leading to chambers. Those rooms had multiple purposes, for the trial were transformed into the cells. The place was neither dark nor gloomy, but the atmosphere remained dark expect for the lights of candles. Finarfin realized he needed to wait and hope for the compassion.

Finarfin lost the tract of time that passed, while he was sitting in the chamber of walls made from the dark marble. There was no way to escape or leave even if no crates were present neither in the small window nor in doors. He tried to leave, but the mysterious force prevented him from even touching doors. Finarfin slept on the narrow, yet comfortable bed. Meals arrived in the regular manner and eventually he even found few books to read. Despite being treated in the very well manner he remained scared and worried.

Despite harsh words, Valar did not abandon all elves who left. Their anger concentrated mostly on kinlayers. Those who left in the peaceful manner were eventually granted the grace. After the long discussion, Valar decided to send messengers and spies to keep eyes on the exiled Noldor. It was unjust to punish every single elf for evil deeds by House of Fëanor. Noldor as the whole should suffer from unwise and irresponsible actions by Finwë neither.

Finarfin became excited when asked to appear in the Ring of Doom. He wondered if forgiveness would be granted to him, but realized that feelings of uncertainty were much worse. He walked slowly up the stairs to took his place inside the circle of thrones. Places seemed as cold and scary as before. Valar observed him in the emotionless manner exactly as the last time. Those factors certainly didn't improve the mood of Finarfin.

This time someone else was also invited. He noticed presence of red-haired elf accompanied by elleth in elegant, dark-blue robe. Guests glanced at Finarfin briefly. He recognized Mahtan and Nimwen, but got no clue why they appeared at his trial. The only explanation clear for him was the public humiliation as the next step of his punishment. He bit his teeth trying his best to control all emotions that attacked him. He, the prince of Noldor, was forced to felt on his knees to beg for forgiveness. To make matters worse the _craftsman's daughter_ saw all his misery!

'Finarfin, son of Finwë you came to us begging for forgiveness and express your will to come back'- this time voice of Manwë seemed less icy than before – 'are you ready to hear what was decided in your case?'

'My heart desires nothing else, Lord' – Finarfin explained – 'I only want to ask about the fate of companions. I hope they find peace'.

'They reunited with families already. We found no guilt in them, expect for the loyalty towards leader and friends of them'- Manwë answered – 'you committed no act of kinslaying, alas we will give you the second chance to live in my land. As for your request to rule Noldor, we found the situation more complex'.

'I am not sure if I understood the problem'- Finarfin answered clearly astonished, but relieved with the forgiveness.

Two elves standing close to him reacted on his question before any Vala provided answer. Nimwen gave him the same type of look as for the unwise kid asking trivial questions. Even Mahtan rolled his eyes, but both of them remained silent. He looked at the elleth carefully. She could be considered as attractive with long, black hair with the blue gloss. Unfortunately, her skin was too pale for the real beauty. Nimwen wore long, navy-blue robe of different shape than those popular on the court but definitely elegant. Her large sapphire earrings as well as necklace of the same type pointed her status clearly. Finarfin felt strong dislike for her almost immediately.

'We invited elves to Valinor to granted you a safe shelter'- Manwë started his explanation – 'your people found their new home in forests and close to the hills. We decided to give you freedom of rule following your customs and traditions by your kings. Elves were to develop their culture and society in the manner selected and we promised not to interfere as long as you live peacefully with your neighbors. The House of Finwë broke the agreement by starting rebellion against us and by committing murderers on our lands. The old agreement is pending now. I am the king of this land and need to ensure safety of all who lived here. I am not going to wait for the new rebellion. Son of Finwë, your claims for the throne are justified in lights of customs of your people, whereas we need to decide whether we agree or not. I trusted your father to fulfill his royal duties. He failed and I am not going to be fooled again in the same way'.

Finarfin got the message by Elder King. There was no real room for the interpretation. He also glanced at elleth in the dark-blue robe. She gave her mentor grateful look worth rather the devotee of Vanyar than Noldor. Finarfin was also curios what is going to happen next, as he failed to recall any comparable situation from the past.

'This is the reason why'- Manwë continued – 'we made decision that several alterations need to be introduced. We will not break the agreement with first of elves. You will come back to Tirion and inherit the throne by your father. Nevertheless, prince we have certain conditions. The House of Finwë proved its inability to rule Noldor. You will be given a helping hand in your duties. Those two elves'- he pointed at his protégée and Mahtan – 'will become the advisory board of you. Any decision crucial for Noldor need to be discussed and will require their approval. Are you willing to accept conditions described?'

Finarfin lost his speech for the moment. He had never expected anything like that to happen in Aman. He heard that at the shores of Cuiviénen the oldest and wisest among elves made up a council. Kings of elves became kings in the current manner here in Valinor. Before it all happened, all tribes chose the ambassador to see lands on the distant West. Is it possible that Valar suggested the very ancient order need to be restored?

'In accept and.. thank you'- Finarfin explained, clearly aware that silence is not golden in the present situation.

Once again, Finarfin glanced at Mahtan and Nimwen, who were standing silent. Two elves definitely knew about the sentence. He suspected those two might even suggested such solution. He felt the new wave of anger in his heart. At first Valar humiliated him publicly and let the _craftsman's daughter_ to see the royal prince begging. To make matters worse, they forced him to talk to her as if she was the advisor. Valinor changed for worse. He realized that Nimwen is less and less not only liked but tolerated by him.

The last weeks were the worst in his whole life. His children left unwilling to listen to any words of advice. When he tried no prevent them from the madness, it all almost ended up in the harsh argument. Earwën seemed to blame him for the danger children were put into. Finarfin doubted if wife would be eager to talk to him and listen in the nearest future. He spent some time alone and loneliness only made his misery worse. He felt overwhelmed with the most recent events, when entered the Ring of Doom. When he noticed Nimwen in the elegant robe his sadness and fear turned into the anger. She was the person he suddenly disliked so much. To be sincere he had never liked her but not in the personal manner.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen felt astonished when heard the verdict. She was informed by words by Finarfin and the whole trial. Elleth felt special when Manwë briefly explained what happened and arguments by prince of Noldor. Political or philosophical discussions helped Nimwen more than anything else. She had no time to cry over her broken heart when needed to concentrate and remember most important. Nimwen even start smiling from time to time, when had too much tasks to even think about the disaster her non existing love life turned into.

She anticipated the long discussion to start during the dinner. It was the first time ever for such verdict to be announced. She sat on the usual place along Eonwë. The Maia seemed as concerned and solemn as the king he was helping, or serve as many of them called his position. The similarity between those two stroke anyone who observed them.

'The verdict is wise and will prevent many problems in the future'- Eonwë said, whereas others gathered nodded in the agreement – 'I wonder what was the inspiration to made such decision I dare to ask'.

'King always needs advice from his council which is the well-known scenario. The House of Finwë failed to rule and obey our laws as I have described in the Ring of Doom. Finarfin needs to get the wider perspective'.

'This is the perfect solution for the Noldor'- Ilmarë said –'Nimwen, what is your opinion?'

'I agree'- elleth nodded – 'this is consistent with the oldest tradition by my people. Before elves arrived in Aman, we had used to have a council of elders to make most important decision. The verdict is nothing less by the restoration of old ways, when my people were united. I have read that we used to dance around Cuiviénen and travel around forests all together and united – she said, clearly dreaming about old, good times.

It was Vanyar who followed the old ways in the manner than other tribes of elves were doing no longer. They settled at the Taninquentil early enough to preserve traditions. Vanyar spend less time on dancing or walking around the forest than before, but combined traditional ways with love towards art and spiritual advancement. They had crowned king, but simultaneously local leader and scholar influenced society more than the distant Ingwë. Indis resigned from the role of the Queen to Noldor. Instead she restarted long meditations and prayed Eru to find the inner peace. Indis changed her sophisticated and richly decorated robes to more simple yet elegant cloths. She tried to broke any connection with Tirion and too many painful memories full of sorrows. She preferred not to remember.

She was not the alone: Calanon and Idhrenion made use from their knowledge and were preparing sleeping portions for the sad queen. Indis failed to forget all discussion and doubts that proceed her marriage to Finwë. She felt almost responsible and realized it is only the matter of time that she would be blamed of the disaster. This is why she chose to hide in households of per people to join them in their everyday tasks. She joined them in singing and praying Eru for help. Despite common misconceptions Vanyar prayed Eru not Valar who they considered as the spiritual teachers. They probably understood Lords of the West better than other tribes.

Indis was not the only woman close to Fëanor to be deeply hurt by his actions. Nerdanel came back to her father's household soon after the terrible argument. She informed Mahtan about the madness that seemed to drive actions by Fëanor. Mahtan send quick messages to his friends and decided to act. When the terrible crimes in Alqualondë became the public knowledge, Nerdanel lost her courteousness. Worried Mahtan lead her to bed and to the Gardens of Yavanna eventually. Elleth slept for most of her time, but showed signs of recovery from time to time. Rarely she tended to woke up and smile. It gave the hope for the full recovery it its time.

Calathiel was bringing Nerdanel flowers and potions trying her best to help her and Mahtan. She cursed every time the name of Fëanor was mentioned but tried to control herself in the presence of Nerdanel. Red-haired elleth was mother and wife to kinslayers after all.

Mahtan became angry when heart what happened at the seashore. He almost destroyed one of his favorite hammers by hitting ore so fiercely. His words failed him when it came to express his anger by the madness by his son-in-law and grandsons that caused so much pain. "No more I will call them my family. If any of them will ever cross my path I will make them pay for the evil deeds"- he said during one of the meetings of the Union. Words granted him a round of applause from Noldor and Teleri alike. Those among Noldor who remained in the Aman realized that the best way to restore the normality and avoid harsh reactions by others is to publically condemn Fëanor and other princes. It was clear for Mahtan alike who realized the danger Nerdanel can be put into as the wife and mother to kinslayers. Hearts of elves were not immune to the darkness as evil deeds by Fëanor proved. Mahtan realized that his household was the place Nerdanel can be safe from all possible attacks.

Nerdanel showed no will to leave the household of Mahtan. Love towards Fëanor had died some time ago, replaced by the hate. She hated him not because he hit her in face in public but for taking all her sons away. Even youngest ones, least eager to leave and participated in the madness, were forced to join the quest. She begged him as humble as possible to let them stay. She even felt on her knees and begged in front of his companions not to take all boys to the Middle Earth. He laughed as mad and shouted the cruel words: " _The little favorite of Valar is on her knees in front of me. Ask your helpless gods for help, but do not waste my time. They tried to tell us what to do as superior but let one of them to kill my father and stole my Silmarills. It is the duty of us to find the revenge. No one will be safe from the punishment by the House of Finwë_ ". It was then her love died and turned into the passionate hate.

Nerdanel walked around Gardens of Yavanna for hours. She couldn't even enter the forge she once worked with Fëanor. Too many memories of the lost happiness hunted her. She remembered how they mastered not only the art of crafting but also the art of kissing and tenderness. Husband used to love her more than anything on the world. Every time she became pregnant he celebrated and seemed the happiest elf in the whole Aman. It all turned into the nightmare when his pride and paranoia turned his inner fire into something of the darkest nature. She was left alone now. Nerdanel realized how little love elves of Tirion and whole Valinor would have for her.

She started to live in the household of Aulë and Yavanna once more. Nerdanel heard all discussions and realized how angry Valar became with the recent events. They decided relations with elves needed series revisions and would become colder and official. Calathiel holt her tongue in presence of Nerdanel. It was clear for elleth it all turned out into the epic disaster.

Xxxxxxx

Nimwen felt a great compassion for Mahtan, but doubted if be strong enough to talk to him in the appropriate manner. Grandsons of him hurt her so much! The blacksmith was a great and hardworking elf that cursed them already. Nevertheless, she felt unsecure as heart continued to tremble. She cursed own weaknesses but it didn't help at all.

'It is decided'- she heard the voice of Manwë – 'There is no coming back to the past. If you feel too weak to control ow emotions, proceed to the Gardens of Lorien. Irmo and Estë are capable of healing broken hearts'.

'I will fail no more' – she assured trying to convince Vala standing close as well as herself – 'I will not fail. Now I shall proceed to my rooms and rest'.

She said her usual farewells and quickly left. She felt terrified but prefer to hide feelings deep inside. She was worried that bad memories would affect relation with Mahtan. Such behavior would put all work in risk. She decided not to tell anyone what happened in Alqualondë. She decided to drink as many potions by Vanyar as necessary to keep emotions hidden from mentor. She would force lips to smile to convince him, that the worst was over. The solution sounded perfect for Nimwen who felt very proud. This was the best option as tears needed to be hidden.

He observed elleth with the sadness. Every help option offered made her hide even more deeply in own shell. Before sons of Fëanor attached, she had used to be hardworking elf maiden passionate about books and teaching. She continued studies and taught children of Vanyar but the change was clearly visible. Passionate maiden was replaced with sad, clearly unhappy person. The broken and wounded soul was summoned from the Halls of Mandos. The poor soul wanted no help or probably required help from the other source, from her family? Change would not make the situation worse. He quickly went towards private chambers. "It is painless to summon winds when compare to discussion with emotionally unstable elleth". On the other hand such discussions might be also inspiring and it made Nimwen interesting person to talk to after all.

His wife awaited in the private rooms. In many cases Valie proved to be the most reasonable person in the household. She was making a flower composition, looking carefully and roses and orchids. Her tall, slender figure distinguished clearly from the twilight of the starry night with the hair as dark as the darkest night and arms light as the most delicate marble. Long, silky dress made her shapes feminine and almost delicate.

'Are you going to stand at the doorstep and observed me working with flowers for the rest of the evening?'- she smirked.

'My queen, I will never fell bored by looking at you'.

dawn or find more interesting activities. We deserve a little of _childish_ play taking into account chaos we needed to deal with'- Varda finished and grabbed her arms around husband.

It was not without the reason why no one was permitted to enter the chambers. What Valar considered as the "childish play" would shocked many more than the vision of noble elleth playing toys. She continued smiling as long as felt his lips staring the fiery kiss. They exchanged kisses and not kisses only, while their robes landed on the floor in the way that no one should ever see. Even the noble King and Queen of Valar deserved to rest from time to time from their everyday duties. In that very particular moment they were loving couple spending the warm evening together. Once they noticed many behaviors and activities by elves and seemed interested to try different ways that creatures of Arda are spending their free time. After all, love could be shown in many ways.

* * *

 **A/N:** I've always wondered how actions and decisions by Finwe were appraised. In the traditional monarchy king or emperor supposed to care for the matters of state at first then to take care of the personal matters. I think we can assume that Valinor were the idealistic version of such traditional monarchy, then Finwe leaving in the personal business to Formenos failed to accomplish his duties. We know that Finarfin decided to come back when heard the words of Namo. He left his brother and children to the deadly threat of the Helcaraxe, I doubt than Earwen was extremely happy with this.


	15. New king of Noldor

Nimwen felt both excited and scared prior meeting with her family. She felt scared about possible questions to come. She spent the whole night trying to came up with the story to believe that would convince mother and others. She even started to write down ideas to make sure nothing was list. Sleepless night took her to make up the story. After all, Nimwen felt ready for the coronation to Finarfin. She decided to meet family after the coronation and needed to explain. Never before she had felt so grateful for all cosmetics hiding tiredness.

Nimwen played her role on the day on coronation. She wanted to play her role as great as possible in order not to make her mentor upset with her. Elleth believed this was the time to show Noldor are gracious elves that follow rules of Aman. She wanted to make the best possible impression as child tried to impress believed father. In that particular situation, she wanted to show herself as strong and obedient.

During the celebration, she greeted guests and spoke with them in the very kind way. Nimwen remembered to ensure Finarfin they all were willing to help. In the meantime, she greeted delegation of Vanyar and guided them to Finarfin. She made sure everyone heard that son of Finwë deserved the chance for the happiness and well-being of all elves.

Finarfin observed her with caution. He realized what Valar tried to tell if saw elleth in robes and jewels worthy princess. She remained still and silent when stood close to him, but became more relaxed when discussed with Vanyar how mutual agreement and cooperation would build the better future for all elves. He felt almost grateful for this rather peculiar way of helping him. On the other hand, as king, he was the person to welcome Vanyar. He was the crowned prince, whereas she nothing more but the daughter to craftsman. She had no right to act without his permission. Finarfin realized that elves that stayed in Tirion rejected not only Fëanor but Finwë as well. To make matters worse, they consider the departure of Fingolfin as a treason of some kind. They were like upset kids, angry with the royal family. Finarfin felt relieved when elleth departed wuth her parents. He needed time to start the new life as ruler.

Mahtan and Nimwen were not only ones to hear what happened to son of Finwë during hearing. All Disciples knew what happened. Nesseldë and Aerion made sure that Teleri heard how humble prince of Noldor became. They told the story when visited the Swan Palace. Olwë and his followers felt happy. Nesseldë was mourning her family, whereas Aerion lost his fiancée murdered by those who swore the Oath. Both Teleri shared passionate hate towards Noldor. Finarfin, despite his innocence and lack of participation in the madness by Fëanor, became almost guilty of terrible crimes. They accused him of doing nothing to save lives of Teleri, even if he got limited ways to react. Such news finally reached ears of Finarfin who started to realize how actions by Fëanor upset many. New king realized there was a work to do. Nimwen was the last person he wanted to see in that moment.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen felt terrified when was left alone with the closest family. Time of difficult questions came and she felt not ready, even if worked hard to make sure her story sounded believable and didn't leave open ends. It costed her the sleepless night to make sure all pieces are placed as supposed to. No one should feel worried with her, neither parents nor mentor.

'I was in Alqualondë during the attack'- she said, trying not to speak about attackers- 'As you know I left auntie house in order not to sit there doing nothing. Unfortunately, I met sons of Fëanor who hated me for grace that King of us all give me as the gratitude for loyalty. Before this particular moment, I had failed to even imagine that elf could possibly attach other elf. They took my earrings for me and left wounded for the incoming death. My soul was travelling between Arda and places beyond but eventually came back. I need more time as my feelings remain still fragile'

'What happened to you Nimwen?' – aunt asked.

'There is no need to worry, as I only..'- Nimwen said, feeling unpleasant shivers.

'I don't believe you, I am sorry' – aunt interrupted – 'We need to know what happened in Alqualondë. What made you so scared?'

'Nothing made me scared' – Nimwen lied.

'Tell us the truth' – mother interrupted – 'You changed Nimwen. We noticed how different your behavior became. Tell us the truth or we will keep you locked as long as necessary to make you talking' – she said.

'It is not possible for me to stay long, I need to come back to the palace and..'- Nimwen explained.

'Speak if want to leave our house'- mother explained – 'I see that something wrong happened. No one will come to collect you. Life will be no longer the same in Aman, but whatever happens I strongly doubt that Manwë and Varda themselves will interfere in relations between parents and their offspring. We have a parental power, please keep in mind'.

Nimwen looked at floor, desperately trying to find any inspirations for appropriate answers. She almost punched herself in frustration. She was so naïve to believe story sounded reliable. How she had ever believed it was possible to fool everyone. Mother and aunt suspected that her sadness originated from more personal reasons than the awareness of kinslaying only! Nimwen knew that she needed to realized her story was wage. She should came up with any reason to leave towards Taninquentil sooner. Family would be sad but would nod in the agreement. It was better to spend less time with them than to make them realized who weak and naïve she used to be.

'You will not understand' – she started.

'Your suffering is what we understand' – aunt interrupted – 'We will help you, but need to know what happened. Fëanor and his sons bring so much suffering to our lands. Many great elves are affected but we are worried what happened to you. If there is a pain inside you, we need to know'.

'Than you. It is because of Maglor. I used to love him once and he was standing when ..'- Nimwen felt that words abandoned her.

Elleth nodded and started crying. She repeated last sentence in silence, feeling terrible shivers. It was still difficult to talk about recent events. Coldness attached almost in the physical way. She paled and her complexion resembled white wall.

Xxxxxx

She felt unsure how to explain the situation. Nimwen tried to tell the truth in most appropriate way. Was she really ungrateful? She almost died after all and was saved. If she showed nothing but thanklessness, to apologize might be the best option to take. How she could be so proud and blind not to realize it was not possible to burry all emotions down. Nimwen discussed all pitfalls pride cased. She discussed how pride could possibly lead to disaster, yet made mistake to believe everyone could be fooled.

'I am sorry for my inability to behave' – she said started conversation with mentor.

'What else happened to you?' – Nimwen felt deep voice with something undefined deep inside.

'My meeting with family helped me to understand a lot' – she started – 'I am still living the worst moments if my life again and again in nightmares. I believed to be able to control my emotions, but I lost. I am very sorry for not telling you the truth, but I considered my choice as best. I didn't want to worry you'.

She was given a sign to seat near Vala. Nimwen came closer to narrow yet comfortable sofa on one of numerous terraces in the palace. She had no idea it mentor was in a good or opposite mood. Valar knew how to hide emotions when meeting person outside their inner circle. Nimwen felt sudden panic before even start to talking. What if he was angry or disappointed? She sat close to blond-haired man wearing elegant, blue robes praying to find appropriate explanation. Even though, she felt scared still hoped is was not worst. She didn't want to be perceived as ungrateful.

'Your estimations failed-' he answered with the subtle sadness in his voice – 'Nimwen, please look at me' – he continued making her looking into his eyes of deep blue – 'We have noticed your sadness and suffering. We have felt sad with your lack of distrust in us. The mutual trust is essential part of relation between mentor and Disciple. I will forgive you but keep in mind my mercy is not endless. If you show such lack of trust one more time, I will take necessary steps. Don't be scared, you will not be cursed or punished. Nevertheless, I will not keep in my household someone who doesn't trust me. How I can trust you if you are not keen to trust me? Remember, there is no need for you to be alone with nightmares'.

'I, I have never think in this way' – Nimwen cried – 'I am not sure if you believe me now, but I wanted not to make you worried. What I need to do to sound reliable?'.

'Trust me' – he repeated patiently – 'explain what happened and trust me. I want you to make promise to listen to any advice given, no matter if you like advice or not. Why are you so stubborn and refuse to ask Irmo and Estë for help?'

'I feel ashamed with my naiveté'- she explained- 'I believed my love towards Maglor died when he married other elleth. I learned my lesson in Alqualondë when realized he remained dear to me. I..'

Nimwen started to talk. She spoke about her nightmares with great passion and emotions. Elleth clenched her fists and talked how betrayal hurt even more than the physical pain. She cried and cried helplessly feeling ashamed with her actions. She felt upset with both own naiveté as well as cruelty by sons of Fëanor.

She felt strong arms and was closed in comforting, caring hug by the persons siting nearby. She left like a child who woke up from nightmares and clung to her mentor. Even though she felt child no more, needed such gestures and needed to talk about horrors that happened. She doubted in pain would completely disappear, but felt stronger. No longer she needed to face nightmares alone. Nimwen smiled when felt his fingers touching long, black hair.

'You are innocent child no more. Believe me, I am aware that growing up is not always a gradual, pleasant process. Many of us went through the same issues before. Do you know that I used to be young and full of trust with blissful future to come..'- he spoke, still playing with her hair.

Nimwen felt relieved. Once and for good she realized that truth had its healing effects. She wanted to be brave, too brave for own safety. Who knows if nightmares would ever disappear, but she felt alone no more.

'I will repeat my words and suggest to seek help in Gardens of Lorien. Nevertheless, as you insist other solution seems suitable. Your past teacher and other Vanyar have interesting plans for tomorrow. They decided it is necessary to help Teleri in this tragic moment. Vanyar are not skilled in crafting as Noldor, but believe teaching elfigs about the past may help them to forget nightmares for at least the moment. I demand your presence there. To face your feats is the first step towards recovery'- he explained –'You have choice Nimwen between leaving to Alqualondë or Gardens of Lorien'.

'I am a scholar and it is my duty and pleasure to teach elflings'- she said slowly – 'I will tell children of Teleri stories about forgotten times. Yes, it is a right idea to teach and answer all their questions. Vanyar told me how to meditate, to calm my feelings down. I will ask Calanon if necessary. I want to thank your from deepest parts of my heart. It is not due to my distrust in Lord Irmo that I prefer not to visit Gardens of Lorien'- she assured – 'I only..'

'.. don't know them' – he finished – 'you need rest. Please try to sleep and fight your nightmares. I ordered you to face your fears not because I felt angry. Kinslayers are not worth any single tear from fair's creature eyes' – he repeated. Nimwen needed such words more than anything.

She nodded. When she came back to her rooms felt terribly tired. The nightmare came back as soon as she felt asleep. She walked down street of Alqualondë when ships were burning. She met sons of Fëanor who had mocked "daughter of craftsman and little favorite of Valar", before attacked. "There is no need to face nightmares alone" – words suddenly came to her mind. She was not alone anymore, having numerous friendly souls around.

She suffered no nightmares as the child. No single elf born under the blessing sky of Valinor had bad dreams. Fear were unknown to them. Night sky seemed beautiful not frightening where stars shined as precious diamonds. Fëanor and his sons gave elfs lessons of fear and hate. Nimwen felt cold even when woke up, but cold was balanced by warm given by comforting arms. Voice of Manwë sounded in her mind, making her stronger. She heard either aunt or her mentor and found strength somewhere inside. She felt relieved and ready to leave the safety household. New day needed to come.

'Nimwen'- she heard voice of Manwë again and again –'I ordered you not to summon winds in presence of others. I want you to realize every living being has right for self-defense in the way most convenient. I have no doubt you will not abuse those rights. Your attackers will be severely punished for their deeds. They have no chances in fight against _him_. Once dead, sons of Fëanor will spend the whole eternity in Halls of Mandos and live worst moments of their lives. Not once I was suggested to be over merciful, but my mercy is not endless'.

She nodded getting the message. Nimwen felt shivers when realized the doom that supposed to hit sons of Fëanor. The judgment by Manwë was harsh and even cruel. She suffered from nightmares only for few weeks and hoped to never learn how live with eternal nightmare looked like. Events in Alqualondë hit many elves and Ainur in Valinor. She failed to notice changes, too concerned with own sadness and memories of Maglor. She felt ashamed and promised herself to keep observing surroundings. Who knows how many souls were wounded? There was a chaos out there, probably more significant than she suspected. She knew answers would appear soon. Tomorrow she planned to visit Alqualondë to see suffering and chaos caused by Fëanor and his sons who killed everyone standing between them and ships.

Next day she left household with Vanyar who decided to visit Teleri. Nimwen decided to wear the most modest dress from wardrobe. She selected small, sapphire earrings but no other jewelry. It seemed inappropriate to wear jewelry when visiting Alqualondë. Enchanted earrings were blessed with spell to protect owner. Manwë gave her a gift after attack by sons of Fëanor. He also provided her tips about the communication of minds. Vala didn't expect her protégée to be attached, but preferred to keep her as safe as possible. It was when Nimwen realized how he was affected by most recent events. He felt personally responsible and sad by the fact she was almost killed because of him. Nimwen suddenly realized it was the reason he reacted so vividly.

Nimwen had little time to even think about how Finarfin reacted to most recent events. She decided not to lose any more time for elf who first left, then came back and now expected warm welcome. They were never friends, as Fingolfin was the one who greeted her and discuss. Finarfin on the other hand, used every opportunity to make her feel inferior, not worth to even talk to him. Formed king did his best to make sure meetings remained civil. Fingolfin showed friendly attitude not only towards her or Mahtan but those who were living in palace as well. Former king remained cordial and polite towards every elf, not only those by noble birth which made him loved and honored across Tirion. This was why his farewell hurt so many. Nimwen failed to understand why great king Fingolfin decided to leave. She felt sorry if was Finarfin not Fingolfin who returned. Nevertheless, she remained silent in the presence of her mentor as Valar judged harsh all Noldor who left.

Xxxxxx

King of Teleri, Olwë observed the sea with mysterious look. He had always loved all songs by the sea, seeking bliss in distant voices. The bliss left them some time ago, when his people died in the desperate attempts to save their ships. Daughter persuaded him to summon all orphans to his palace. Elflings lost their parents to madness by Fëanor and his sons. They died, because either said "no" to harsh request by prince of Noldor or were unlucky enough to stand nearby. Kinslayers killed "servants to Valar" in order to prevent them from telling what happened. All witnesses were doomed to die, with no mercy given. Fëanor and his sons felt no sympathy towards elflings whose lives were destroyed by this act of violence. "I guided my people to Aman to grant them safety"- Olwë spoke sadly – "Finwë, my dear lost friend, how could you do this to me and my kind? Why you did nothing to teach his firstborn lessons of compassion?". Olwë kept asking questions again and again with no answer coming. He cursed Fëanor and his whole house for making children of his people cry. The Union of Tirion was no longer the only group blaming blind love by Finwë for all their misery. Teleri and some among Vanyar joined them, making a dawn of new, difficult day for elfkind.

Nesseldë and Aerion appeared in the Swan Palace few days before. They came after long discussions with their Guardians who proposed them to mourn lost with other Teleri. Elves were also encouraged to guide Teleri in rebuilding shattered lives. "I am not here to suggest your pain in inferior to theirs" – Irmo assured- "You are skinned healer, you known how to fight nightmares. We were given our talents for purpose and have duty to use them to serve those in need". Nesseldë remained when planned next steps. Both Nimwen and Nesseldë grew up.

Nesseldë wasted no time and started acting as soon as she reached Alqualondë. She had been Disciple to Irmo for ages, but it was Union of Mahtan who gave her ideas. Elleth not only talked with other Teleri, but also asked for opinions and eventually stared to talk openly. No one prohibited her from speaking in the harsh way. She kept saying no crimes by Noldor could be forgotten. Princes were to pay for their sins. Olwë nodded in silence every time elleth started her speech. "Disciples of Valar, used to be teachers to our children and now become politicians. When did it happen?"- he kept saying. Earwën, his dearest daughter, married prince of Noldor. Once a great marriage became a serious issue now. Fortunately, Earwën cursed her spouse openly in which gesture public compassion was given to her.

'My Lord, the group from Taninquentil paid us a visit'- voice of courtier interrupted him.

'Who came in the delegation?'- king asked in somehow loony voice.

'Few of Vanyar and Disciple to Manwë. She is a Nolde'- elf explained – 'It is not appropriate to make them outside'.

'It is not indeed. Please, guide them to one of our guest rooms. I will join them as soon as possible'.

The small group of elves went after courtier to one of guest rooms. It was a cozy, light room facing the sea. Vanyar saw sea rarely as they preferred mountains to the seaside. To hear songs of waves or walk around sandy shore made a rare occasion for them. They observed all views with curiosity and excitement. As they understood songs by the sea had the same value for Teleri as wind blows for Vanyar. Both groups to hear gently words whispered in that manner. Nimwen used to love seashore before sons of Fëanor changed happy memories into nightmares. She hated this place now, where attacks took place.

They failed to notice when tall elf of light, almost white hair entered the chamber. Vanyar and Nimwen remained too deep in thoughts to notice when Olwë joined them. King of Teleri smiled when saw blonde-haired Vanyar accompanied by dark-haired elleth. He got no difficulties to recognize Nimwen, as number of Disciples to Valar was tiny. Olwë saw her during Festivals standing close to throne of Manwë himself. They never talked before. Teleri realized presence of this particular elleth was a clear sign. She was carrying gifts in pale hands, gifts not made by any elf. Olwë recalled that Union of Mahtan, she took a remarkable position in, helped his people in the darkest hour. It seemed that Vanyar also decided to join noble Noldor.

'Dear guest to my household'- Olwë said –'Please forgive me for keeping you waiting. The only words I have to say for myself is to state that I am surrounded by chaos'.

'Noble king Olwë you are '- Calanon explained –' We came here to help you in ways best known to us. Many years ago, we decided to concentrate rather on study spiritual knowledge and arts, rather than politics. Even if we separated from others to concentrate on our duties, as elves we will never abandon other elves in need. We are not skilled builders as Noldor, but believe our spiritual knowledge is essential. We will learn you our ways of healing wounded spirits children of yours'.

'Thank you, we appreciate any help you can give to use'- Olwë answered.

'I used to be a pupil to Master Calanon, before I became a teacher myself. I taught children to both Vanyar and my own tribe the most ancient history. I want from the deepest of my heart to share my knowledge with children of Teleri. We all need to remember that we are all the one nation of elves, once united. I have heard about noble actions of you, the king to Teleri. You were generous enough to invite orphans to your household. I am delighted to tell you that my King and mentor is deeply impressed by your actions. Please accept this gift and my presence here, as it was him to tell me to come'.

'Let it be as you said lady and your noble elves'- Olwë spoke –'Both messengers by Lord of Valar and friends to Teleri are welcome in my palace. The dearest daughter to me, Earwën is taking care of orphans. She will welcome the helping hand with joy'.

Nimwen need no more words. Noble actions by princess impressed her deeply. She met Earwën several times in Tirion long, so long time ago in the previous life. Nimwen felt sympathy towards elleth who seemed the caring protector of her people, queen-mother to her kind as Miriel was said to be. Earwën was so different than her husband, proud Finarfin!

Nimwen found princess in the garden. Tall elleth in long, elegant gown was sitting there with group of elflings. Nimwen hear no single word from conversation, but noticed long, white hair of Earwën. She looked almost girly in her outfit and simple gestures. Nimwen almost forgot she saw full growth elleth who lost husband and four adults children. She realized Earwën was not only noble born but also noble in heart. Who knows if she belonged to the same type of elves as Fingolfin, their lost king?

'Lady Nimwen, what are you doing here?'- Earwën asked.

'Greetings, princess Earwën'- Nimwen said with smile –'I came here as the messenger from Taninquentil. I have a mission to help you take care of those precious elflings'- she explained, pointing at kids –'Those poor beings lost too much because of evil deeds by insane members of my tribe. I believe than even such a wise and noble elleth as you, may need help'.

'I am aware of their lost'- Earwën explained – 'join us if you want to help. We need any assistance noble elves can give us'.

Nimwen joined them with a smile to start one of the most important lessons of her life. It was here in Alqualondë, she realized the amount of tragedy that happened to them all. Misery that Teleri suffered helped Nimwen to realize she put too much pressure on her broken heart. Those poor elflings lost childhood and their dearest ones. She became too proud and self-obsessed not seeing what happened around. She lost her first love but not loving ones nearby.

Heart of Nimwen trembled every time she noticed how sad and serious faces of children to Teleri became. Before this particular moment she thought that Fëanor and his sons simply killed everyone on their ways. Then, she realized that many children lost their parents, wives lost their husbands, sisters lost their brothers. She didn't need anything to make her hate towards Fëanor to grow. She also felt sudden feel of anger towards newly crowded king to Noldor, Finarfin. When Nimwen noticed pain in eyes of children of Teleri she hoped kinslayers would suffer harsh punishment.

Olwë told about group of Noldor who appeared in Alqualondë soon after tragedy happened. They were sent by Union of Mahan to assist in all necessary rebuilds. Teleri never forgot this gesture. In the meantime, Finarfin tried to deal with chaos at his court. He was busy with making necessary arrangement. Both Ingwë and Olwë learned about actions of Finarfin. Those less friendly towards new king of Noldor spoke openly about his lack of interest with world outside his court. Many among Noldor openly cursed the royal family to emphasize they had no relationships with kinslayers.

The Highest King of Elves tended to be both pompous and irritating. Nevertheless, Ingwë neither ever lost a common sense nor wish elves to be miserable. The caring elf still dwelt deep inside in him. Evil deeds by Fëanor reminded of old fears and threats that persuaded elves to leave the Middle Earth and seek safety in the distant West. He spoke openly against stepson to his niece. Ingwë condemned his pride and cruelty, changing old animosity towards Fëanor into open hate. For the first time from many years, he used his words not to demand any worship to himself but to speak in name of others.

'My Lord'- Ingwë said when was greeted private meeting with Manwë – 'I am aware that our relations have become lousy long time ago. I am not here to speak about our old misunderstandings, but talk about issues that matter to my people. Evil deeds by Fëanor and his sons lie beyond forgiveness. The Highest King of Elves I am, and insure actions from you, the noblest among Valar. Please punish kinslayers harsh in the name of innocent life taken by madness. Those cowards deserve to learn lesson of pain Teleri suffered. I indeed considered Teleri as less skilled than Vanyar but have never wished them misery. It is a crime and blasphemy for elf to kill other elf!'

'The harsh punishment will be their fate'- said Manwë – 'It makes me pleased to hear concern in your voice'.

'It is my duty as the Highest King of Elves to ask. Moreover, my niece Indis suffered terribly because of that spoiled son of my former friend. I am not able to remain silent when my family suffers. He made her cry and mistreated her. It gave me a right to react harsh and remind Fëanor his place'- Ingwë explained.

'I understand your point. Thank you talking with me about the important issue'- Manwë said, giving his former Disciple the mysterious look.

Vala remained silent and only observed elf who left soon after. He observed Ingwë very carefully and eventually whispered silently "We used to be friends once. When did you chose pride over my friendship?"- were the words still somehow filled with old disappointment. Manwë was the first Vala to befriended with elf and made him Disciple. Ingwë felt in love with glory and titles but for the short time, he became his former self: brave and caring leader eager to travel to very edge of Arda to grant own people safety.

Nimwen learned about words and actions by Ingwë. She started to looking at his with deeper respect and kindness. Ingwë might be pompous, however he was the very the first to realized threat to bliss and happiness of all elves that Fëanor represented. Ingwë openly criticized Finwë for his inability to control firstborn son long before the Union of Mahtan even appeared. Leader to Vanyar spoke openly in favor of Indis, stepmother Fëanor had no love towards.

Elleth spent weeks in the Swan Palace accompanied by Earwën and children to Teleri. She even changed her robes into light ones to became more like them. Nimwen was afraid her elegant, silky robes were out of place there. There was not a time for beauty contest. Instead she walked on the seashore with Earwën and elflings. Touch of warm sand seemed too pleasant to even consider wearing shoes.

Nimwen learned a lot from this experience. Memories of distant childhood when she visited her aunt popped in the mind. She felt young and carefree each time she played with kids in warm water. Earwën joined them from time to time, but as sincerely admitted preferred rather to feed beloved swans. She persuaded Nimwen and elflighs to join and all of those who suffered from actions by Fëanor played and smiled once again. They were walking for hours around numerous gulfs. Nimwen finally believed she was pure and truly re-born. It was then she chose new nickname, Manwathiel that translates as "pure". Additionally, it obviously linked her with mentor. It made a tradition among Disciples as Mahtan for example was also known as Aulëndil. Elf also spent much time to grow a beard to become similar to Aulë.

Xxxxxx

Finarfin soon learned his coming back was tougher than expected. He condemned own naiveté, when sat alone in rooms. Royal court was in the chaos, and chaos at the court only gave him idea how terribly things went. First of all, only Earwën and wife to Fingolfin remained from those once dear to him. Earwën refused even to talk, whereas sister-in-law blamed Fëanor for losing whole family. Secondly, he only begun to learn how strong the Union of Mahtan became. They ruled Tirion in his absence, but this fact still kept escaping his mind. Teleri hated him openly. Finarfin realized that father-in-law definitely was not going to give a helping hand. Vanyar remained his only loyal friends and allies as mother came from Vanyar.

He learned about actions by Nesseldë and Aerion later, when his loyal servants informed him about Teleri making sure princes of Noldor remained hated. He gave the clear speech to ensure that making peace with other elves, but firstly he needed to make sure everything worked fine in his household. "I need to honor my father to begin with, then I need to secure power I have on my subjects" – he explained. Many of courtiers considered words as wise, as in case multiple problems arose sequential solution made the only option.

After the coronation, Finarfin invited friends and most loyal comrades to a feast. He truly celebrated safe coming-back to Tirion, taking place as the king and heir to father. Additionally, Finarfin felt tired with recent events, especially hearing by Valar. He still felt angry with the fact they made him felt on his knees. As the result, he rejected suggestion to invite elves from the Union for the feast.

'No, I have no desire to see then more than it is absolutely necessary'- he explained – 'I need to rest, before I will start my work'

'They are influential'- someone said.

'Then this is the end of plays by craftsman'- Finarfin explained – 'I neither have knowledge, nor interest what they fooled themselves into when I was away. The crowned king is back, whereas they are subjects to me. I now wish to celebrate with those who I call friends. The public celebration is over'.

He spoke openly, unaware some of courtiers were eager to make his words public. Not all members of former court of Finwë agreed with actions taken by princes, whereas others felt terrified with kinslaying. They were no allies to the Union, mostly because the Union spoke harshly about Finwë. When Finarfin made comment about division they spoke loudly and those who supported the Union learned their words.

The large meeting took place few days after the coronation. They chose house almost outside Tirion as the place was large enough for their needs and distant enough from other buildings to ensure privacy. Elves tended to meet regularly to discuss the most recent events, the coronation of Finarfin that time. Nimwen's father repeated story by his daughter about how Finarfin begged Valar for mercy. It made members of the Union laughing, especially as now new king was speaking about rising power.

'Finarfin decided to show us our place'- said Nimwen's father – 'I wonder how is he going to achieve his goal. Does he even know than Noldor of Tirion support us not him?'

'I have no doubts you will tell him the truth' – said someone.

'I am sure Nimwen will do the same'- he explained – 'We need to tell others how our new king is speaking about craftsman. He run away and now come back and expect us to sing with joy? Fingolfin took care of us all'.

'He is lost now. We need to observe actions by his brother carefully'.

If Finarfin decided to invite representatives of the Union and other Noldor to the palace, numerous misunderstanding would be avoided. Unfortunately, he got own problems that awaited solution, too many of them.

'No one ever prepared me for being a king!' – he complained aloud – 'I feel so overhelmed by this chaos, so unsure how to proceed'

He considered sending message to elves from the Unions, invite them for talks or even grant them place in the royal advisory board. This would be a solution, but this never happened during reign by Finwë. When Finwë was the king only friends of the royal family and those of noble birth were allowed to join the advisory board. Fingolfin care more for skills than the birth, but Fingolfin was gone. Finarfin was not sure if drastic changes would make any good. When his father reigned everything went well for so long. The new era had come, very different era but it made some time for elves to learn how different it turned out to be.


	16. Funeral of the king

One of the most painful moments among Finarfin's life was when father left home. Indis, other kids and grandchildren shared his pain. The new king of Noldor missed mother terribly. She visited him to congratulate during the coronation, but refused to remain in Tirion. " _I am living now among my people to eventually reach peace and happiness. In Tirion too many painful memories await. My uncle Ingwë_ _welcomed me in his household, where I am surrounded by love. We need to thank King Manwë_ _for his grace given to you"._ By then Finarfin managed to listen without anger any suggestions how he should be thankful by the gesture of Valar. He needed only few days to realized how Noldor who remained in Tirion felt upset with their royal family. They lost any trust in them as it remained clear to him. Noldor welcomed Finarfin in the cold way. New king heard many complains about Finwë and felt sad. " _No one prepared me for royal duties. No one warned me that I will need to defend my father's name_ ".

He called associates from the Union of Mahtan to his palace. Finarfin felt strong need to remind them who was crowned as the King of Noldor. This made him to call them to the throne chamber, place optimal for incoming discussions. Finarfin realized the only way to deal with a political chaos is to remind about few simple facts. This is how he decided to help Noldor. He chose his best and most precious robes before the talk. All elements of robes and jewelry made observers astonished. He left long, light hair lose decorated only with sweatband and large, wonderfully crafted diamond shining as the star on night sky. The jewel belonged to Finwë once. Since assassination of the former king, all came to Finarfin. New king made an enormous attempt to choose robes before the meeting.

'You owe my father, your former king, obedience'- Finarfin explained, when saw guests.

'He left us ages ago once he decided to remain in Formenos. Brother to you, Fingolfin, left us as well. Those who escaped are no longer kings to us'- this was the answer.

'No one is allowed to criticize my brother or father. You have neither necessary knowledge nor right to speak against him. This is my order and I am the king of you'- Finarfin explained while trembling. " _Does anyone know how difficult this situation is for me?"._

Noldor remained silent as the reaction towards words, but their eyes shined passionately. Finarfin took deep breath and clenched his palms. This simple gesture helped him to concentrate. Harsh words about father were beyond his expectations. Finarfin decided not to tolerate such behavior in his household, even if fight awaited. Too few Noldor remained in Aman. Political arguments would make them terribly weak.

'Thank you Lord for telling us, that it is rightful action for king to leave his people' – said the same elf.

'You are to respect my father and other members of my family. This is an order. Do not forget we are rightful rulers for Noldor'.

'One need to earn the respect'- elf explained – 'neither peace no respect is given once and for all. Your brother Fëanor gave us lesson, king. Hard work is needed to ensure peace and welfare remain. If craftsman wants his tools to help him for years, conservation actions are required on daily basis. We wish you lot of luck in incoming challenges. Luck is what you need, _our Lord'_.

'I will bring peace and order back to Tirion. Thank you for kind words by you'- Finarfin said. He pretended not to hear mockery in their tone.

Finarfin decided not to start his reign by punishing those guilty of treason. New king treated such words as the treason, but arguments were worst possible actions to start the new life. He realized they tried to challenge him in some way. Calmness and control were most needed now. Finarfin decided to ensure that normality is given back to his household to begin with. He felt that it made no sense to restore everyday life first here then to all Noldor. He needed ladies, artists and hunters to make ensure court worked as supposed. Once the normality came back to the royal palace, Finarfin hoped Earwën to came back.

New king decided to provide his father necessary funeral. Finwë was the first victim of the Dark Lord as Melkor was now called. Finarfin felt strong need to fulfill his duties as son. Once completed, he decided to ensure prosperity and right place for his family. The political chaos caused by interregnum lasted definitely too long. No one ruled Noldor when he was away. This is when the whole chaos begun.

Finarfin had no idea that it is not always possible to come back to the regular life. Some events made innocent youth to be lost forever. Elf also forgot that when Fëanor questioned power and rule by Valar, his actions provoked similar reactions by other Noldor. If the superior role of Valar could be questioned, there is no explanation why role of royal family couldn't be questioned as well. House of Finwë initiated the rebellion and rebellion were initiated against them. If Fëanor and his sons challenged power and wisdom by Valar, craftsman from Tirion might follow their steps. They were encouraged by own royal family to rebel against kings. Finarfin felt too tired to even noticed how ironical situation became.

Xxxxxx

Finarfin worked hard to ensure funeral of his father would be nothing less than perfect. New king believed Finwë deserved the last service as pompous as the one given once to Miriel. Finarfin searched for mastersingers to sing for the last time for Finwë. He also asked scholars to prepare scrolls and short summaries of all accomplishments by his father. Noldor needed to recall how grateful needed to be for Finwë. Despite an overall difficulty of current political situation, the history lesson was required to get the necessary perspective. Finarfin worked hard, while preparing for his father's funeral. Nothing distracted new king of Noldor: children continued their journey to the Middle Earth. Earwën left him to live with Olwë and refuse even to talk. Finarfin remained alone but at least safe in Tirion.

Elf ordered his jewelers to forge tiara decorated with shiny stones. In his everyday life, Finarfin wore comfortable yet elegant robes. Nevertheless, he looked almost humble when compared with pompous robes by father and Fëanor. Elf noticed how ladies-in-waiting looked at him carefully in almost seductive way. He was married and would remain married, even if Earwën refused to notice this fact. He was forgiven and took his place on the throne, however realized soon happiness and bliss left him.

'My Lord, please'- said his faithful companion and one of courtiers.

'My dear Aradan, why are you so worried?' – Finarfin welcomed him warmly – 'Please take a sit close to me my friend. We both deserve a glass of wine'.

'I don't think wine will help us' – said Aradan sadly. He followed Finarfin to Alqualondë and accompanied when he begged Valar for forgiveness- 'I know how busy you are when trying to restore peace my Lord. Nevertheless, please find a time to discuss other issues'.

'I am getting a really terrible feeling. What are you trying to tell me?'- asked Finarfin.

'It is Alqualondë that made ma worried' – Aradan explained – 'When we were discussing whether to join brother of yours my king, the Union of Mahtan send their people to Alqualondë'.

'Why did they decide to act?' – Finarfin asked.

'The Union of Mahtan send builders and craftsman to give Teleri a helping hand in process of rebuilding their shattered life. They are working hard, however ..'

'… I am glad to hear that Noldor send help, not only soldiers to attach'- Finarfin said.

'I am afraid that you are _missing a point_ my Lord' – Aradan continued – 'those Noldor arrive there as members of the Union of Mahtan. It was Mahtan who sent them to make sure your father-in-law, Olwë, recognized them as friends to Teleri. He succeeded, but please keep in mind, they arrived them as messengers of the Union but not you, my Lord. Recently, Lady Nimwen has joined them, clearly calling herself "messenger form the Holy Mountain of Taninquentil". She arrived with a group of Vanyar, saying that she was send by a King, but she referred to Manwë himself not you my Lord. This is..'

'She is questioning my power openly'- Finarfin grinded the last sentence out – 'Daughter of craftsman seems to forget her place. How dare she to speak in similar manners? She is not the only one to question my role. This is why we need to make sure funeral of my father will be as great as possible to remind everyone that king is back. I will explain Nimwen that she is my subject and obedience is her duty. I will also speak to Mahtan. Father-in-law to my brother he is, but nothing permitted him to forget he owes my father obedience'.

'My Lord..'

Aradan tried to calm Finarfin down but failed, as Finarfin refused to listen to him. Instead, the youngest son of Finwë felt sunned anger caused probably by all recent events. Even though he only witnessed kinslaying and decided to went back after had heard words by Mandos, he remained almost an enemy to Teleri. Aradan explained he was considered as witness to their misery. Friendship between was lost according to him as Aradan said. Elf said nothing how he got this knowledge. Those among Noldor who stayed perceived Finarfin almost as the traitor. Valar forgave him, but nevertheless made him to accept their favorites as the obligatory, advisory board. Lords of the West clearly explained how poorly they perceived his family. To make matters worse, the ordinary daughter of craftsman dared to question him. Mahtan was wise enough and had right to discuss him as father-in-law to Fëanor. Nimwen had no right to question him, son of the king, as the daughter to commoner. She was ambitious but acted in the wrong way. Finarfin decided to explain basics to over ambitious elleth. Their meeting ended up with the argument. Even though their relations had never been friendly but after the funeral became even worse.

The funeral was planned to be a formal event. The coffin of Finwë remained open for public, to make sure all subjects would be able to honor his king in the same manner as they once did to previous queen, Miriel. Finarfin worked hard to prepare his speech. Not only he planned to honor his father but also decided to explain that Fingolfin tried to help their people not to leave them alone to the madness of Fëanor. Finarfin became terrified with actions by Fëanor. Finwë deserved to be honored for his actions in overall but not condemned by actions of hid firstborn.

At the very beginning, Finarfin seemed satisfied with most recent events. Many among Noldor decided to say farewells to murdered king. Even if his decisions made them upset, but Finwë deserved to be honored. Noldor realized they needed to bury their lost ones in the same manner as Teleri were doing. Finarfin believed he was popular and respected, once looking at number of elves who attended funeral.

'My father was great both as elf and as a king'- Finarfin said – 'He was spending many years taking care for us. My father worked hard to make sure everything was done to make sure our nation gets what he deserved. He died from hands of our deadly enemy, assassinated by prisoner of Valar' – he continued – 'My older brother decided to follow steps by our king. Once terrified by actions of Fëanor, decided to follow our people on the exiled to save from madness. Fingolfin has always been dutiful, hopefully Eru will save him from suffering. I followed him at the very beginning, as my children …'

Noldor who attended the funeral of Finwë, listened to Finarfin carefully. Unfortunately, even his most kind words suggested those who left for the exile were most precious to the royal family. If Fingolfin left to accompany his people, how to describe those who remained. Noldor doubted if House of Finwë that marched towards the Middle Earth, deserved loyalty. They used to respect Finwë and Fingolfin once, but those times were gone.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen took her time in Alqualondë during the royal the funeral. When Finwë was buried, Nimwen spend her last time on the seashore. Elleth felt excited when walking on the seaside, feeling warmness of sand down her foot. She loved the feeling who delicately sand massaged her feet. She understood why Teleri loved music of the sea so much. She preferred other sounds, but still heard to waves and smile arrived on her face.

Suddenly Nimwen became distracted by the distant sound. She turned her head to notice what happened. To her great surprise, one of Eagles of Manwë smoothly landed nearby. Eagles served their Lord as messages and spies. Before Melkor and Noldor fled to distant lands, Eagles had observed the Middle Earth and other places, but know they were all in the state of war. She learned it and was also taught by her mentor how to communicate with Eagles. Lord of Valar told Eagles to inform his protégée about most important issues to Noldor. Elleth came closer, curios what caused the visit. She looked deeply into eyes of the majestic creature. Nimwen saw funeral of Finwë and listened to speech given by Finarfin. She bowed her head, trying to understand what caused new king to tell remains of Noldor they were not important for the royal family. He might try to calm emotions down, but made a terrible mistake.

Nimwen almost run towards Tirion in her first reaction. She thought about actions to take, when Earwën arrived with group of kids. Nimwen couldn't ignore young Teleri running close to her, clearly demanding farewell story to be told. She smiled while looking deeply into innocent eyes of them. She opened her arms in the gesture of invitation, trying to hug them all. Children of Teleri needed no more gestures to run. They almost make her felt on the ground when tried to hug her all at once. Nimwen sit on a warm sand to spent one, last magical moment with them.

Earwën giggled and proposed to take last bath in the sea. Splashing made the great fun for all of them. Nimwen froze not sure what to tell, but children gave her no chance for reaction. They soon became completely wet, but also amused with satisfied.

'Thank you Nimwen, we Teleri, are grateful to you and all friends who helped us in need'- Earwën said, while two were walking to Nimwen's comments.

'We did what needed to be done' – Nimwen explained – 'We felt strong urge to prove not all Noldor are murderers, but..'

'Neither me nor my father doubt that Noldor can be friends to Teleri. I promise you my family will make sure our people will learn'- Earwën explained harshly – 'We shall never forget that the Union of Mahtan tried to help us as much as possible. Neither we shall forget that the Union of Mahtan gave us helping hand. You send builders and other craftsman to us on the very next day, the kinslaying happened. Princes never will be forgiven, but no Noldo is to suffer for sins by the House of Finwë'.

'Finarfin is..'- Nimwen dared to start talking.

'Please, do not ever speak his name to me'- Earwën interrupted harshly – 'I will never forgive him for doing nothing when my people were killed. I will never forgive him failure to save my children from madness. He left them alone to begged Valar for mercy. I shall see him no more!'.

'I am sorry to..'

'There is no need to apologize my friend. Please speak about him no more. Have you ever wondered why I decided to take care of orphans. Those poor little beings are children without parents, whereas I am mother without children. I wish Fëanor and his sons will burn forever for evil deeds. I hope Finwë has been severely punished for loving only his enfant terrible! Be ready for the farewell dinner Nimwen. I hope you and your friends will visit us soon'.

Nimwen decided to take care of Finarfin and his actions next day. Elleth realized that it was not possible to leave Teleri due to actions by terrible princes, not king, of Noldor. Teleri did not deserve such treatment. She felt sympathy towards elves of sea and almost wished to stay longer. Noldor tended to feel superior towards Teleri, even id did nothing to deserve such treatment. Poetry by Teleri seemed less complicated by those by Vanyar, bur had their beauty inside. She also liked taste of rum.

It was clear for Nimwen what the House of Finwë made other elves upset. Words by Earwën left no room for doubts. Nimwen realized that when Fëanor spoke about freedom and new chances for elves, he divided elves. Who knows if divisions could be ever undone. Finwë, once a great, highly respected king of Noldor, initiated the process with his blind love towards the firstborn. He loved seven grandsons given by Fëanor more than other children and grandchildren. No doubt remained after he left for Formenos, where his refusal to come back hurt his family and people. When Miriel died, the bliss and harmony was lost for Noldor forever as blind love by Finwë lead Fëanor straight into the darkness and madness. It was Finwë's attitude that resulted in curse by Valar and passionate hate by other elves. The House of Finwë was supposed to rule and guide Noldor, but those times were gone. Most of Noldor and literally the whole royal family left for exile. None of them even wondered what kind of disaster they left behind. Nimwen realized that Noldor of Tirion were safe from curse by Valar but not anger by other elves. To make matters worse, Finarfin decided isolation and divisions were most needed.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen felt growing anger in her heart. What Noldor did to Eru to be punished by having the House of Finwë as their royal family. Teleri were ruled by Olwë who showed their care and compassion, whereas children of kind followed his steps. Ingwë were not among best leaders to have, but Vanyar followed old ways. They listened to the elders as well as to scholars, but what was more important, they considered themselves as special people devoted to Manwë and Varda. Vanyar lived close to the Taninquentil and believed that King and Queen of Valar were also their royal couple. Ingwë lost his influence long time ago, when decided to look at the sky rather than live with his people. The Highest King and the elders got agreement that satisfied both sides. Noldor, the most ambitious and impatient among elves, felt into the trap by the Dark Vala. The House of Finwë shared traits with their people for the misery for all of them. Those who remained in Tirion preferred work to adventures. Proud Finarfin suited his family well. Unfortunately for both Finarfin and others he got only the golden hair form Vanyar. Nimwen felt unsure about what to do, but decided to arrive in the palace before proceed with actions. She decided to talk to mentor before taking actions.

Elleth went towards the same garden she saw for the first time she visited the palace. She loved small, somehow wide place. Garden resembled rather fields outside Tirion than the rest of Ilmarin, but was charming. Even during the day, sun rays, in the same manner as light from the Trees, came from the line of the horizon not the sky itself as in other places. Those who decided to came, took place either on rough bench or on the grass. Elves usually decided to take the second option as more comfortable.

'I… I thank you'- Nimwen explained – 'it was there, in Alqualondë, where I realized how much suffering Fëanor caused to elfkind. I spoke to orphans who have nothing to talk, no one to hug them. I am truly lucky, to be surrounded by care and for my behavior I would like to apologize for my former behavior'- she finished – 'Can I ask for ad advice?'.

'What bothers you, little one?'- Manwë asked.

'I have heard what Finarfin said during funeral of Finwë' – Nimwen started.

'How do you appraise actions by new king of Noldor?'

'I consider his words as cruel and unjust. Why he refuses to look at us as his people? Why he called those who left his? Why the royal family left us all? To make matters worse, the only heir to former king is trying to force us to consider them as heroes? He demands our loyalty but loyalty needs to be mutual, doesn't it?'

'It is mutual indeed. More to say, the role of the king _is not_ about wearing the crown'- Manwë explained – 'The crown is the symbol not only of the power itself but more importantly of care and duties that makes one a great king. Power without care and responsibility is nothing but the tyranny or stupidity in the best-case scenario. We are all suffering from amnesia the House of Finwë had. Finarfin loves and cares for those who left. It was a _fear and fear only_ that made him back'.

'I am afraid of consequences words by Finarfin may cause'- Nimwen said – 'Noldor of Tirion felt upset with actions by the royal family. Finarfin is making the situation only worse. Is he not able to understand how people are feeling?'.

'He either doesn't understand or doesn't care'- Varda said making it clear how much she despises elf –'maybe explanation is what he needs'.

'If he decides to listen'- Ilmarë explained, taking chance to talk – 'he made it clear that elves of Tirion are not his people. What he did is almost an invitation for the rebellion. His whole family rebelled against our King. Haven't they even considered that once they rebelled against us, someone else may rebel against them? Has Finarfin even thought about such explanation?'

'I doubt' – Varda said, smiling to Ilmarë- 'those who rebelled, put themselves above all elves. They believed we can be challenged. In her pride, they considered themselves so superior that immune towards any words spoken against them. They questioned power we have, but open doors for rebellion against them. My dear Nimwen, get your best robes and talk to brother to kinslayer. He needs to be reminded we let him to come back to inherit his father's throne'.

They spoke for a time being. Nimwen realized how angry Valar became with actions by the House of Finwë. They forgave Finarfin because it was lawful to forgive, but had never forgotten. They were angry and took attack on her personal. They went furious when Fëanor questioned their power but went personally offended when member of their home was attached. She was someone close not unknown elf from Alqualondë.

She left palace wearing one of her best robes. Long, silky dress reminded wings of butterfly when looked back. Nimwen fastened her hair up using richly decorated barrette. She took a scarf to cover her white arms. She wore no jewelry except for the small necklace. Nimwen expected the hard talk to come, nevertheless had no idea how hard it could be.

Xxxxxx

Finarfin felt exhausted when came back from the funeral. When he said 'goodbye' for the last time, it was clear that father died and would never go back. It was possible for elf to come back from the Halls of Mandos, but Finarfin doubted that Finwë would be ever granted such honor. It took time for new king to realize why his words made so many among Noldor angry. Why they failed to realize only once unfinished businesses were done, the future would come.

Servant knocked to Finarfin's chamber the early next morning. Mahtan arrived in the palace, while Finarfin was working on the pile of paper. Elf decided to send official letters to both Olwë and Finwë. He needed to remind them all that no matter who was ruling Noldor in that particular moment, they were all elves united once. He felt no need to talked to guests.

'Lead him to the throne chamber'- Finarfin ordered.

'There is no need to waste time for such gestures'- Mahtan said –'We are both busy as I can see'- he continued, pointing at pile of papers – 'I don't want to distract you Finarfin'.

' _King_ Finarfin'- Finarfin explained –'I am indeed terribly busy. The official correspondence is among my first duties. What do you need?'.

'What type of correspondence'- Mahtan asked, ignoring first part of Finarfin's sentence.

'As the new king to Noldor, I am obliged to send letters to leaders of other tribes. Matters of state should not concert you'.

'I don't think so'- Mahtan interrupted – 'Valar asked us all to discuss the most important issues. Nimwen spent years among Vanyar when she learned how to speak in the best possible way. I came here due to different reasons. Please tell me, you haven't told people of Tirion that those who left for exile are true people of yours'.

'No, I didn't…'

Finarfin took a deep breath and started talking about last day's events. Mahtan listened carefully, speaking nothing. He kept his emotions hidden, while playing with his beard. Older elf walked around the chamber, as if walking might help him. Mahtan went towards window to look through it. He seemed rather tired that angry. Finarfin wondered how much time Mahtan was spending to take care of daughter.

'Finarfin'- Mahtan said after moment of silence – 'I understand your grief, but you are not only one hurt by Fëanor. Your loyalty towards father and brothers are highly appreciated, don't get me wrong. Unfortunately, you suggested that those who remain in Tirion are not people of yours. We were deeply hurt by your father who left for Formenos. They were also abandoned by your brother and remember that you almost left. Those in Tirion reject the whole royal family. Your words… your words gave them explanation why they needed to do this'.

'This is not possible'- Finarfin explained – 'I am not the one to be replaced, no one can take my place. I am the last heir to my father the only person able to become the king of Noldor'.

'Your father was officially crowned here, as was our ambassador to Aman once'- Mahtan interrupted – 'Haven't you listened to anything during trial of yours? This is the land of Valar and we need to follow rules. They agreed to let us, elves, get own kings and societies but as long as kings of elves follow rules. Don't make them doubt you even more. Don't try to convince them that you are not able to rule Noldor'.

Finarfin nodded. He promised Mahtan to consider all that he heard. It seemed to be the terrible day to begin with. Once again someone told him that he needed to be happy and feel grateful for all grace given by Manwë. Father-in-law to Fëanor had all right to talk about familial issues, even when it came to subtle phrases necessary for speeches. It was hilarious to be given lessons about politics by blacksmith. Indeed, being youngest son to Finwë he received almost no political training, but without doubt he knew more about politics than regular craftsman. Such idea made him crying from laughter. He needed to relax at least for a moment, after all recent events. He continued laughing even when next guest was introduced.

"King must have heard a joke"- words spoken by female voice needed some time to get to his mind. He looked around to notice dark-haired elleth in elegant, dark-blue robe. She was wearing earrings with large sapphires, making the ideal connection with robes and eyes. Elleth could be perceived as beauty, but her skin was too pale at least according to standards by Finarfin. When he recalled what she did recently, he felt anger. Explanations not compliments were needed.

'You are back from Alqualondë as I can see'- Finarfin said getting to the point almost immediately – 'I order you to explain why you decided to show me, king to you as I need to remind, such an act of disloyalty! Speak now!'.

'Excuse me?'- Nimwen asked, feeling shocked with such attitude.

'First of all don't you dare to speak to me as equal daughter to craftsman. I am your king and as the king I ordered you to bow in front of me every time we have a meeting. Secondly, what was the meaning of your actions in Alqualondë? I don't recall giving you permission to go there and speak in the name of Noldor to make matters worse'.

Elleth regained her ability when initial shock disappeared. Neither elves of Noldor nor Vanyar had spoken to her in such manner. She remained silent not sure how to react. She touched first her hair and then fingertip touched sapphire earing. She had no idea whether it was the result of blessing or something else, but suddenly regained ability to speech. Nimwen glanced at Finarfin with mixture of anger and irritation to finally answer.

'First of all'- she grind words out – ' I arrived in Alqualondë as a member of official deputation from Taninquentil. We were asked to help Teleri by King older and nobler that you. Secondly, if he has never asked me to bow I will not bow before you, son of Finwë. Thirdly, all Noldor need to work hard to restore out honor we lost because of Fëanor. Lastly, the Union sent help when you left Tirion to follow kinslayer'.

'Don't you dare to even speak to me in that way!'- Finarfin shouted, feeling mad –'I am not interested by ways of others, but here in Tirion daughter to craftsman are speaking to sons of kings with humility. It is a high time for you to speak to me as the subject you are'.

'Then, start to behave like a _true king_ , Finarfin king of Noldor'- she spoke coldly – 'Wearing a crown will not make a king. You made it clear for people of Tirion who you care for. One must work hard to earn respect, whereas respect is not given once and for all. Respect, as the precious little flower, needs care. You are not listening to your people of Tirion. Are those who died and left us forever are more important than those surrounding us?'

'Not, they are not'- Finarfin said in more controlled manner – 'as the scholar you must know, that future will not come unless unfinished business were done'.

'History is our teacher, while the knowledge is hindered in the past. We need to know our mistakes in order not to repeat them over and over again. I agree that we need to finish unfinished business we have'

Finarfin took a deep breath. He had no idea what caused his deep reluctance towards Nimwen. He really couldn't stand particular type of women she represented. Finarfin believed different tasks to be appropriate for men and women. He enjoyed discussing history and politics with scholar but not women. He managed to listen to words of advice and even criticism when talked to Aradan or even Mahtan, but not daughters to craftsmen. To make matters worse, she was the fourth person, after mother, Aradan and Mahtan, to remind him about true rulers of Valinor.

'Then my father made a mistake, is what you tried to suggest?'

'King that left his people is not a king anymore at his own wish. Finwë left his kingship when decided to stay at Formenos. He left both us and royal duties freely. Don't expect Noldor to appreciate such actions'- Nimwen reminded when the worst begun.

'Do not dare to speak about my father in such manner, daughter of craftsman!'.

It was the moment when Nimwen almost lost her control. It was extremely difficult for her to talk to this particular elf, uncle to those who tried to murder her only because she stood on their way. She decided not to accept the way he was speaking about elves who were not high born. "The apple never falls far from the tree" – she thought. Nimwen realized that Fëanor must heard many angry words in his household, before decided to commit all crimes.

Nimwen had no idea why Finarfin spoke so harshly about those of not noble born. She felt angry to hear leader-to-be speaking about those who he was responsible in patronizing manner. Nimwen saw absolutely opposite attitude when talking to best and those best was ones she wanted to learn from. She didn't even think that anger was Finarfin's way to deal with grief and uncertainty.

'Do not dare to insult my father. My father is a hardworking and genuine elf any daughter will be proud to have as father. I prefer to be a daughter and sister to common craftsmen to daughter of traitor and sister to murderer'- Nimwen shouted.

'Beg for forgiveness now! I don't know who you think you are, but I am your king, rebellious daughter to commoner. How dare you?!'- Finarfin shouted, waving his hands.

'How dare you?! Have you already forgotten that it was grace of Valar that let you come back to inherit the throne? You show strong dispose towards you people. I swear that your words will become a common knowledge?'

Nimwen turned around and left the chamber. She closed the doors so harshly that almost broke it. Finarfin almost run after her, but then notice many courtiers to stand outside. Pale as death Aradan was one of them. Finarfin realized how stupid and immature his behaviour was. It Finarfin was not pestered again and again he would manage to control own emotions.

'My Lord'- said Aradan.

'I know it was all unnecessary' – Finarfin explained – 'I should not listen to my emotions. Neither I am supposed to speak to guest of mine in such manner. I really don't know how to stand her, she is an living nightmare!'.

'Unfortunately you spoke more than few unnecessary words'- Aradan explained – 'you were unlucky enough to question judgement of Valar. To make matters worse, you attached protégé to Manwë. As you know, Valar tend to show .. specific attitude towards own Disciples'.

'I know obviously. I don't need this pampered girl to start complaining'.

Finarfin bowed his head, feeling troubles to come. He realized that his lack of self-control would end up with issues. He doubted that anyone would believe that he was provoked. He probably would not believe in such explanations. It is terrible for a king to shout at his subjects only as the result of differences of opinions. It was Nimwen who made him too angry to even realize how to behave.


	17. One among many

Nimwen left royal chambers feeling anger stroking. She came back home to make sure no vase or other heavy piece of equipment would be used against Finarfin. In the morning she felt happy and cheerful but thanks to new king of Noldor it all disappear to made space for feelings of shame and anger. She did her best not to shout when Finarfin maliciously commented work done by her father. To make matters worse, she felt it was her fault to give new king opportunity to use old fears against her. Why was it made her fate to have arguments with him over and over again?

She walked across one of the terraces feeling growing shame. Nimwen had learned some time before that physical activity was helpful to reduce emotional stress and as the result decided to walk vividly in the desperate attempt to calm emotions down. Forging worked perfectly for Mahtan, whereas Nimwen chose walks. In the most case scenario, she hiked in forests nearby but during that particular day she went towards one of terraces. Chill weather helped to concentrate rather on hostile climate conditions rather on running thoughts. She was walking for a long moment, before steps aborted her concentrations. She realized how childish reaction seemed. Nimwen clenched her fists and realized she wanted company no more.

'Nimwen, are there any problems that concerns you?'- she heard the voice able to calm her down even in the worst nightmares. Elleth felt relieved now.

'Indeed I have'- Nimwen nodded – 'I visited Tirion today to talk to Finarfin. Our conversation went terrible to be sincere'.

'What do you mean by the world "terrible?'? – Manwë asked, sitting close to her. He took her hands and closed in warm, comforting gesture – 'Explain yourself'- Nimwen always recognized even indirect order.

'Let me show you recent events. I will use the communication of minds to provide you with the most detailed picture as I doubt my words will remain appropriate enough' – she explained.

'If you prefer to choose that way'- Manwë agreed with clear hesitation – 'Once we will be done, I will ask you questions. No unanswered questions will be accepted'.

She nodded. Moreover, Nimwen assured that she wanted to discuss but not in the traditional way. Once she finished talking, elleth opened her cautiousness feeling no fear. Under no circumstances the noble being nearby would use his powers against any elf. The communication of minds made the weaker creature venerable, but even such intimate moment provided her with feeling of security. For Nimwen it was more private to uncover body than to uncover soul and open it for ideas. Additionally, Manwë stint close when she almost died. Is there anything left for her to hide?

Nimwen felt comforting warmness at the exact place where Vala's fingers touched her cheek. Almost immediately it radiated not only across whole face but body as well as if she took comforting bath. Mysterious force immobilized her, but no fear entered heart. At the very first moment delicate sting hit back parts of head being rather warning than a real pain. It was when Nimwen realized that powerful inherence made its place in her mind. The overall feeling became so overwhelming in minutes that Nimwen instinctively revealed all her memories. She tried no resistance not only because she trusted him full but also suddenly realized that resistance caused immerse pain.

Many times before she heard about natural barriers all minds were tool up with. According to scrolls, even elf could theoretically close his mind to prevent Vala to enter it. As the result, any entrance required significant force, whereas brutal entrance would lead to destruction beyond repair. Brutal force is useful but to create fear only after all.

'Why you decided not to talk in the way elves talk to each other?'- he asked once the connection was over.

'I felt angry for Finarfin for his harsh words towards my family. To make matters worse, he dared to question judgement of you and..' – she explained.

'.. your anger is fully justified child'- he interrupted in the mild voice - 'Please, name to me know all ruinous mistakes Finarfin has made recently'.

'My reaction was not exaggerated?' – she asked with clear relief – 'Under no circumstances I wanted to… No, I shall answer questions not initiated more of them' – she continued – 'Yesterday, Finarfin made it clear that Noldor of Tirion are not his people. To make matters worse, she use harsh words full of contempt to talk about my family!'.

'It makes a terrible sign if leader show superiority towards his people '- Manwë nodded –' As for Finarfin, he questioned his ability to rule in more than one action. In am fully aware how difficult task to control emotions might be. Nevertheless, I have deep trust in your ability to calm yourself down. Whether you anticipate it or not, more meetings with Finarfin awaits'.

'It is so difficult, why are you asking me to ..?'- she almost begged.

'I am perfectly aware of difficulties'- answer was quick – 'You have decided to participate in actions by Union many years ago. Now, it makes a duty for you to continue without hesitation. Noldor who decided to remain in the Blessing Realm, will soon face challenges. Anger by other tribes of elves is among numerous trials to come. The wise and mature leadership is essential for your people now. Not only we all need to rebuilt our lives, but to prevent other acts of violence as well. Our presence protects elves from forces of Darkness coming from outside but we have limited ability to protect from inner Darkness. Any more revolt or violent act will destroy the first barrier forever. No longer we will stand between you and the Darkness'.

'But this will put all elves un danger! Why?'- she asked.

'Because I am to force no one to accept my helping hand. If laws of my country is unacceptable for Noldor, the agreement between our nations will be terminated. Noldor and other elves need to reminded of our old agreement. It is your duty to talk to elves to fulfill this harsh task, however I have warned you that being my Disciple means not only privileges'.

Nimwen shivered in silence. Duty was almost a keyword in the whole conversation she had. No place for discussion appeared, as elleth knew her mentor well enough to realized how important duties were for him. Manwë demanded a lot from both himself and those in his household. Elleth were among them with all consequences. Nimwen failed even to imagine next revolt to come. Such though was a blasphemy. Unfortunately, actions by Fëanor made it clear to all people of Blessing Realm that elves are not purely of light. Before rebellion lead by sons if Finwë it seemed impossible to even consider leaving Valinor but nothing remained certain no more.

Xxxxxx

Not long after the annual Festival to celebrate harvest took place. Once Two Trees of Valinor were replaced with sun and moon, months and years seemed to last shorter as if time itself was running in the different way. Those who remained had no idea whether months indeed lasted shorter or events of recent months made it all pass almost in the blink of an eye. Finarfin failed to state how many days passed between his decision to follow Fëanor, painful farewell with Fingolfin and judgment by Valar. In the meantime, several arguments with less than helpful Union took place. Elves who gathered around Mahtan and Nimwen decided not to help son of Finwë at no means.

New king needed not a long time to understand painful truth, one among many unpleasant surprises to persecute him since he decided to listen to warning and curse by Námo. Those gathered along the Union made it clear that heritage by Finwë would be lost if he decided to leave. No longer necessary respect remained associated with Finwë as those in Tirion presented no will to honor murdered king. Finarfin decided not to discuss whether claims made by Noldor were reasonable or not. Regardless last, unfortunately decisions Finwë deserved to be immortalized on columns and frescos. Finarfin felt as the last person to fulfill duty as "the arrogant daughter of craftsman" – the way he called Nimwen, would forget to honor former king.

Aradan begged Finarfin to remain calm, even if king made it clear that everything in Nimwen's appearance and behavior made him made. Finarfin was getting irritated with all her gestures, especially when Nimwen over and over again stated Finarfin was not a king in her eyes. To make matters worse, she kept talking about the mentor as devotee and loving child. Her manners seemed weird for Aradan but terribly irritating in Finarfin's opinion. Not only Vanyar kept praising Manwë and Varda in songs and poems, but in list of Noldo elleth it made a travesty.

'Why are you so hostile towards Lady Nimwen?'- Aradan asked – 'She is appraised by many as teacher. Not only our children are fond of her lessons but she even impressed Rumil with her knowledge!'.

'I am not here to criticize her _knowledge_ '- Finarfin explained –'but I am tired of listening over and over again about grace given by Valar. My mother's people are skilled enough and need to external help. We are Noldor who seek for answers and question the order given to us. Our goal has always been to create something new. Nimwen tends to behave rather as Vanyar not Noldor. I will not let her transform my people into devotees.

'Are you then guided by concerns?' – Aradan asked.

'I am concern of our people to sustain their role as independent thinkers. Regardless words by arrogant daughter to craftsman, I prevent no one from having own opinions. I forcing no one to praise me, but my dear friend I believe to have right to be deadly tired of hearing how gracious Manwë was. To make matters worse even Noldo decided to speak in such manner. It is not a business of mine whether she is praying him on the daily basis or chose other means to express her gratitude. All I want from her to stop as long as I need to see her at my household!'.

Finarfin continued discussion with Aradan for several minutes. The other elf disagreed with all concerns presented "There is nothing more but the sincere respect for figure of authority. I see nothing inappropriate in behavior by Nimwen". King neither listened nor showed any compassion for Nimwen he strongly disliked. He barely tolerated similar behavior in case of wife to Fingolfin. Differences of opinions caused numerous arguments. Finarfin reacted angry when duchess, and a queen for the short time, to Noldor wore robes and jewelers reminding those wore by Varda herself. Finarfin, following Finwë and Fëanor, believed Noldor didn't need to model themselves on anyone. All works by oldest brother made it clear their race is superior. Time to shape world according to own will came. He laughed every time Nimwen entered his household in her long, navy blue robes and sapphire earrings. Finarfin felt no need to know whether Nimwen chose robes on her own or based on suggestions.

Time for the annual Festival meant not only joy but also meetings with most irritating elleth in Valinor. Finarfin hoped that Nimwen would remained silent in gratitude in the presence of her mentor. The silent adoration would be hopefully sufficient. "I will never understand how Manwë tolerate her in her household, uncles she has home hidden talents or Lord of Valar enjoys views full of admiration. This is not my business" – Finarfin murmured. To follow old tradition, he wore light, simple robes and flower crown. Courtiers behaved the same and joyful parade went towards Valmar.

Members of the Union and their friends made the second group. Two groups of Noldor walked separately as none of them even considered waiting for another. It made one of many gestures to emphasize how deep divisions between Noldor became. Finarfin clenched his teeth each time he realized that Nimwen informed elves of the Union about all arguments between them. Consciously or not elleth created Finarfin as "king who is feeling superior towards his people". She also made it clear that calling her "daughter of craftsman" was a hostile gesture towards people of Tirion not the simple reminder of her low birth. Finarfin tried to remain calm and polite towards everyone but not towards maiden in navy blue robes could not stand the truth. It all made division between them greater.

Once the royal group arrived, Finarfin noticed the difference in the overall atmosphere. Elves were gathered while awaiting Valar to arrive. Followers of the Union of Mahtan came earlier and already took their places. Teleri chose to ignore any sign given by Finarfin and his companions to make sure everyone would notice how poorly they appraised actions by brother to Fëanor. Few among Vanyar greeted him in reserved way typical for them. Mother smiled and waved towards him. Finarfin also noticed light-haired, noble-looking elf who took place by Indis site. It was Calanon. During previous Festivals, Valar appeared in the same time as elves, but this tradition remained no longer in use.

Finarfin glanced towards Teleri. Elves of the sea looked at him with clear anger. Hostile attitude by them were no secret. Noldor suffered from the growing adversity. Noldor were condemn by those who blamed even Finwë for kinslaying as blind love of king towards the firstborn were known to all elfkind. It was unfortunately the beginning not the end of unpleasant surprises.

'My lord, are you looking for a queen'?- Aradan asked.

'Indeed, Earwën harshly rejected my invitation for a Festival. She is still upset with my action. I doubt if I ever be forgiven'.

'It all happened recently. Time is what we need to recover from our wounds. Fortunately, as immortals we have all the time of this world'- assured faithful elf.

'I also lost my children!'- Finarfin said aloud – 'Why there is no one around to notice heavy loses I am suffering from? My father is dead, one of brothers went insane, the second one is exiled, whereas my wife seems to pretend we are stranger to each other'.

'I am aware of it all'- Aradan assured – 'but please keep in mind that elves of Alqualondë suffer terribly. Tragedy hit them deeply and Teleri need to blame someone. You my lord, entered their city in the darkest hour'.

'All it known to me, thank you. I have a solution but the Union and parvenu in navy robes decided to..'

'Nimwen is not to blame my lord, as you have more among Disciples of Valar who condemn the royal family. Those of Teleri origin are acting independently of Nimwen'.

'I must ask: how did you get all this information?'

'Some of my friends are followers to the Union. We have different opinions when it comes to politics, but we meet from time to time either in the city or walk around the forest'

Finarfin and Aradan tried to continue discussion but needed to pause. Valar and their companions finally arrived at place. They all looked significantly different than last and previous years. Finarfin opened mouths but no words left him. Elf had no idea how to react of behave. Other seemed astonished in the same manner. Changes were coming in waves and Lords of the West decided to make entrance that would remind all elves in Valinor power and nobility presented by Valar.

Xxxxxx

Nimwen tended to come back upset each time she had meeting with Finarfin. She was put up with all comments regarding her family. Elleth believed that being a daughter to hard working parents was a heritage to be proud of. Unfortunately, Finarfin had different opinion and clenched her fists each time he used "daughter to craftsman" as the phrase of shame. She felt no ready to fulfil mission given.

'I have warned you that tasks might turned out to me tough'- she was given exactly the same answer each time.

She begged Manwë to change his mind during each discussion. When she took her place at distant terrace no cold destroyed moment of true harmony. The pristine, clear air was freezing in touch but one touch of Vala's hand provided comforting warmness. Nimwen walked to the distant terrace at one of highest floors each time got free time. Although Manwë ordered her to express opinions and concerns during discussions, he expressed no compassion towards his protégée fears.

'But please, take into account that king Finarfin refuses to even listen to me as I am not of noble birth'- she said but realize last sentence made a dreadful mistake – 'To make matters worse, I feel my words are doing more harm than good as he is only upset'.

'I will not reconsider my judgement only to please son of Finwë'- Manwë answered with unusual, icy tone – 'Finarfin is obliged to follow rules of my country as long as he is leaving in the land I rule. If decided otherwise, he is free to join his people on the exile. Nimwen, are you implying that you are not capable of fulfilling your duties?'

'Please no!' – she assured – 'I am eager and able to follow your orders; however, I am tired of hostility shown by Finarfin. Nothing seems to make him talk in the manner elves tend to talk'.

'He made a clear statement that only those of noble birth are allowed to talk. This is not a problem we will have any issues to solve'.

'I can't see the point'- Nimwen admitted.

'Finarfin explained that only princess is worth talking to. If so, you will become the one. To begin with find the most pompous robe to wear for the Festival. No one expect for us or those close to us will be permitted to wear other robes than simple, white ones. Guests will wear flower crowns, whereas we will select real ones'.

Discussion lasted for some time, nevertheless Nimwen realized nothing she said would change judgement by Manwë. Freezing ice in normally warm tone made it clear that topic was beyond discussion. She needed to wait for the better time to beg for change as last she desired was to be considered as weak.

Nimwen noticed the differences that recently came. Never before Fëanor and his sons slew innocent Teleri, Manwë had used icy tone in conversation. She decided to remain silent and came back to the Library, to escape spiritual rather than physical cold. Never again elleth saw her mentor angry and sad and felt terrified.

'My Lord, how are you planning to achieve your goals?' – she asked after a moment of silence.

'The certain era came to an end. Changes are necessary to keep bliss in our beloved land as well as reminder about laws and customs' – Vala said in his normal tone – 'We Valar were teachers and spiritual guides to your people. Our openness ended up in the bloodshed. I will let my people to repeat mistake no more' – he assured – 'I hope your nightmares are leaving you'- he finished in usual, mind tone than encourage sincere conversation.

'I am about the full recovery, thank you. Visit in Alqualondë served its purpose'- she assured.

'Then I am happy to hear such a great news. I want thou to be marvellous and cheerful once Festival come. Tell me if you need help'.

Nimwen had assured she felt fine, before went towards chambers. In that particular moment she was more concerned with choice of robe for incoming Festival more than anything else. Nimwen felt angry that not enough time for necessary preparation. Task to select the most marvellous dress and hairdo seemed more crucial than anything this year, whereas only few days remained available!

Next day she put all robes on the bed. Even if numerous robes was lying, she felt that had not enough choices. To make matters worse, hairdo and jewels needed to be selected to fit the overall impression. She behaved in typical, womanish way in that particular moment feeling terribly helpless.

Silent knocking failed to catch her attention. At last she selected gauzy robe composed of several layers of blue silk. Not sure what to expect, she selected one of favourite dresses. After all, if everything fails, it is advised to remain elegant.

'It is indeed princess worthy robe'- Nimwen almost jumped hearing the voice behind – 'I see you got my message clear. Please close your eyes'.

'But please tell my why!'- she begged.

'You will get your answers in a minute, trust me and be rewarded'

Nimwen opened mounts but spoke nothing. Instead, she looked at Manwë carefully. All in Vala's posture and form emphasized the change to come. He took a shape of tall, light-haired king in marvellous, blue robe so long to reach the floor and gauzy enough to move as wings of butterfly at each move. Robes Manwë selected were less pompous and over decorated than those by Fëanor but not less royal, especially if matched with tiara decorated with large sapphires. She almost screamed once realized how different he became.

She closed her eyes as ordered, feeling so intimidated that said no word about necessity to select hairdo and jewels to match robe. If Valar decided to remind elves that they were older race who ruled whole Arda, definitely selected appropriate forms. Nimwen wished it all ended up in growing separation between races living in land of bliss and harmony.

Caught deep in thoughts, Nimwen had no idea when exactly Vala took her hand and lead into unknown direction. In most cases elves managed to get sense of direction even with eyes closed, but being turned around several times made her dizzily. Even taking a small step seemed risky of falling. She felt helpless.

Not long after, Nimwen realized that heavy object was put on her head, definitely piece of jewellery given as a surprise. Elleth felt gentle hand playing with hair, making it all fit whatever she was gives. Although closed eyes prevented her from seeing anything, Nimwen realized all had association with incoming Festival. Curious she tried to open her eyes, but was ordered to wait. After a long moment, Manwë touched her cheek in delicate, father-like gesture and gently moved.

'Open up your eyes Nimwen'.

She almost jumped from joy, once realized once noticed diadem-like sweatband shined among her hair. Mithrill masterpiece provided face with mystic light. Long, dark hair with blue shine made elegant knot to surround the diadem. Nimwen realized only Mahtan or someone similarly skilled made complicated patters surrounding jewels. She looked as a princess of elves once saw reflection in mirror. Elleth realized that time was needed to get used to new situation.

'I don't know what to..'- she said unsure.

'Do not stand here so shocked, as princesses tend to behave differently. Time has come for us to leave'- Vala ordered, but continue talk in warm, comforting tone – 'I am fully aware of difficulties you need to face my dear. Also, it is not beyond my comprehension how painful harsh words by Finarfin are. Nevertheless, Mahtan and thou initiated the wonderful initiative of the Union. I asked you for a significant effort, but I selected you as my Disciple as I believed you possessed necessary power. Let this tiny gift serve as help' – he smiled – 'As Finarfin considered princesses as only worth to talk with, thou become one of them'- he laughed with laughter having nothing to do with being cheerful.

'This is a generous gift my lord. I resemble princess now!'- she said.

'You are to become one of them'- Vala continued with voice deprived of joy –'It made judgement to let Finarfin rules Noldor, as the continuation of royal dynasty seemed the optimal choice for those of thy tribe who stay in Valinor. I realized the necessity for certain precautions at the very beginning, whereas now it turned out even more is needed. As Finarfin refuses to listen to protégée to me and own countryman, I will call you princess. Knowledge and wisdom thou earned in years made you suitable person to advice, nevertheless if not I will make him accept rules. If he refuses, he may join exiled Noldor'.

Nimwen remained silent once heard the whole speech. She felt strong need to than for privileges and gifts, but words failed her. Finarfin would become upset with the overall situation and dramatic change in well-resolved customs and traditions. Nimwen felt no need to take care of well-being of an elf who refuses her even a civil conversation. She still needed time to realized what happened. If not a gentle prod, she would remain deep in thoughts.

'Time is ticking. My queen and Ilmarë will soon ask you to come to make sure we are all ready to leave. Idhrenion is currently with him'.

'Alas, it is getting late. We need to hurry'.

Not long after, she met her great friend. Both Nimwen and Idhrenion wore different robes than usual. Vanyar resembled prince of elves in long, light-colored robe and sapphire decorated diadem. Never again any of them selected such pompous robes for the Festival. Nimwen smiled once saw him. Idhrenion looked at her carefully, clearly impressed in overall. Elleth realized all members of the household chose elegant robes accompanied by sweatband or diadems as courtiers to King and Queen to Valar supposed to.

Once those who dwelled at Taninquentil reached their destination, majority of elves had already appeared. Most of Noldor, Teleri and Vanyar wore traditional, simple robes wearing nothing but flower crown. All among Valar chose pompous robes and marvellous jewellery. Only Yavanna and Vána decorated hair with flowers, but flowers accompanied with pearls and emeralds. The message that Lords of the West were superior rulers became clear and well delivered.

Nimwen glanced towards other Disciples. All of them wore elegant robes and chose jewelers instead of flower crowns. Nesseldë for example, picked gauzy dress as white as snow. White robe made a great duet with silver hair of Teleri woman. Shining diamonds in ears and hair provided her with exceptional look. Nesseldë smiled to Nimwen who answered with friendly nod. They became friends after loses both of them suffered because of actions by Fëanor and his sons. The painful type of union made them close.

Mahtan who selected place close to Aulë seemed sick and tired as even his beard looked messier than usual. To make matters worse, although he wore dark red robes he looked pale as if felt seriously sick. Nimwen guessed it all happened because of Nerdanel and care she needed after husband and seven sons left her with grief. Ingwë took place close to his niece Indis and Calanon discussing several issues. Once all of guests arrived, the High King of Elves went closer to place when Valar sat.

The first, formal part of celebration was about to begin. Manwë himself gave an opening speech on annual basis. Previously, Vala emphasised joy, bliss and overall harmony between elves and always eager to help Valar. This year the change came. He spoke in cold, official yet cordial tone distant from his usual, warm tone. No longer Manwë remained almost all-knowing guide, teacher or older brother but just and distant Lord.

'Last months were nothing than a darkest of nights. At first, the Two Trees died and deprived all living beings from light and warmness. It is a lesson for us all to remind that even in the exact heart of Undying Lands, shadows can still invade. Nothing lasts forever even light and peace' – Manwë pointed at dead Trees – 'Treasures I mentioned are precious flowers that need care and watering over and over again. Once we all, Valar, decided to invite the Firstborn Children of Eru, we desired nothing but take care of use and protect from shadows lurking in Utummo. We believed such solution be optimal making you all safe from death and despair. Our task was to protect you from our fallen brother and give a time to develop science and poetry. The House of Finwë considered effort of protection as enslavement. To make matters worse, they not only decided to leave but kill all innocents who stand on their way. Fëanor and his sons tainted sacred lands with blood of Teleri who refused to give their ships for revenge son of Finwë sworn. Numerous among House of Finwë believed we made unjust decision to punish Fëanor for threating his own brother with the sword. They all felt upset with the fact we not them rule Valinor. Not only we are responsible for Valinor but the whole Arda as well. Nevertheless, message by Fëanor came to us. No single elf will be asked to stay in our land, but those who decide to leave will never be allowed to come back. As long as our laws will be respected we will make no attempts to interfere in neither you ruling not customs. We only asked all of you to treat all who dwelt in Undying Lands with respect. Till now our races will only meet during Festival and in the greatest need. We will listen to your pleas but we all need to take care of peace and bliss'.

Elves listened to words cautious but sad. It became clear that however to call it time to separate ways of elves and Ainur now came. There seemed to be no way to come back to initial trust and friendship, that changed into rare, official meetings. Both Teleri and Vanyar gave Noldor unpleasant looks at Noldor who were suddenly blamed for all situation. Those who surrounded Finarfin were at worst situation.

Ingwë gave a speech as next. This particular year his words turned out to be worthily to remember. Vanyar spoke with seriousness greater than during all years he dwelled in Valinor. In that particular moment once more he became caring elf wanting nothing but safety and happiness of his kind. Once he persuaded elves to leave for West to escape shadows of Utummo. This elf was buried deep inside. Nimwen saw him in that manner for the very first time.

'Noble Lords of the West and my compatriots'- he spoke with serious tone –'it makes me terribly sad to learn about all evil Teleri suffered from hands of Fëanor and his sons. I am not only king of Teleri but also High King of elves and it is mu duty to express my deepest concern with fate Olwë and all elves of sea suffered. Please accept my deepest compassion. There is neither explanation nor forgiveness for such crime, but lessons can be learned. Never we are allowed to forget how harmful and deadly pride of prince has become. We are allowed to forget about father who encourage his son to do whatever he wanted and even leave his royal duties once decided Valar hurt Fëanor with sentence of exile. Noble Valar believed it is a crime to threat own brother with sword, but father definitely had opposite opinion. We had no idea back then that nightmare only begun back there. Never again we will be so carefree. It is duty and not only a privilege to be a king. We all need to prove we are not the same as Finwë and his children. Olwë, my brother from Teleri tribe has already gave us all the proof'.

For many years speech by Ingwë had not been given such a round of applause by all Vanyar, including Calathiel and Idhrenion, most among Teleri and majority of Noldor. Nimwen provided the High King with round of applause once realized he spoke poorly about Finarfin. Mahtan reacted in the same manner cursing Fëanor for all happened to Nerdanel. It remained no secret for Nimwen, that Ingwë took his revenge towards Finwë and Fëanor for all years of jokes and arguments. Only few thought about personal motives of Ingwë as recent nightmare remained too fresh.

Finarfin clenched his fists, once realized the whole speech attacked his father. He noticed that Nimwen provided Ingwë with a round of applause once standing there in her princess-like manner. Followers of the Union behaved in the same manner and gave him a challenging look. Noldor seemed not only to question decisions by Finwë, but even hated him. Was their suffering so tough to turned love towards king into something dark.

'This is an open attack! My father was attached'- Finarfin said angrily – 'How dare they? Valar seem to blame my father and brother for the whole situation?!'

'My Lord, please calm your voice down'- Aradan said – 'There is no place for an anger now. I am aware how much you loved Finwë, but Noldor perceived him as a lousy king who left his people and royal duties to work on great mood of Fëanor. They felt rejected and disappointed once he left for Formenos. Please listen to my opinion about dreadful mistakes that king made'.

'You do not need to even ask'- Finarfin said – 'We all suffered after our father left, I believe that Fingolfin suffered most. Why do thou think I will not listen to words of truth?'.

'Thou reject wisdom if came from mounts of unworthy, as decided not to listen to even a single word by Lady Nimwen who is a daughter of jeweller'.

'This arrogant daughter of craftsman ..'

'It is not important now, as she seemed to be something more. Changes are to come as Manwë pronounced in his speech'.

Aradan spoke for a moment being. Finarfin kept nodding in silent agreement. Both elves realized how dangerous situation became with all anger Noldor had to face now. To make matters worse, Teleri might try to get revenge. Finarfin remembered cold welcome he was given in Tirion. Neither he forgot terrible shape of his marriage. Aradan knew that king suffered from nightmares almost sick from fear his brother and children were to mace. He realized that the Union should not be treated as an enemy but only when Nimwen were not around.

Finarfin looked carefully at Nimwen's dress and diadem. He clenched his fists once noticed her unfriendly look. Following ancient traditions, selected elves went towards place when Valar sat to greet Lords of the West in the name of their tribes. During that particular day Valar looked more noble and distant than usually. Finarfin and Aradan went towards high chairs Manwë and Varda chose. King and Queen of Valar touched hands as ordinary couple but remained distant. Finarfin noticed angry look by Nimwen who sat close to her mentor. Idhrenion who chose place close to Varda seemed more neutral.

Indis went closer her son to show compassion. She gently touched his shoulder and said her cordial and warm farewell. Indis also spoke towards Valar who greeted Indis with smiles full of appropriate. Finarfin realized that even Nimwen gave his mother an friendly look. He became mad with such an act to hypocrisy and awful manner to agree with all Manwë said. Indis reacted in more controlled manner and even spike with Valar for a short moment.

'Please join Noldor. They need thou to lead them and rule them, but desperately seek for your care before truly accept you as a king' – Indis whispered.

Finarfin made attempt to protest but Indis remained sure her idea was right. She became more and more tough in ages and on those particular moments presented attitude to son. He also noticed suspiciously friendly Calanon, who suddenly seemed annoying. Nevertheless, he made Indis smiling and carefree: nothing else mattered.

Nimwen became irritated with long standing. She tried to move at least a little but achieved nothing. She listened carefully to wise words by Indis who presented herself as much wiser and mature than own son. Nimwen also realized that Finarfin was furious, but she had been suggested not to concentrate on him so much.

'Do thou intend to visit your kin?' – calm voice of Manwë helped her to come back to the reality.

She made a step ahead and crouched. To get a balance, she out a hand on a chair. It helped with talking and prevent from making weird moves or by looking at her mentor from above. She noticed care and sadness in his voice. Not only Manwë felt responsible for all evil Melkor caused, for destruction of Two Tress and even suffering she survived. Vala gave her such a serious looks that she wished she had gone earlier to the Gardens of Lorien. Nevertheless, she felt no need for going there as nightmares became weaker.

'I do, as I want to talk to them and then share all gossips' – she explained.

'I got thy point but please be careful'.

'Getting drunk and overeaten are only threats ahead of me'- she assured.

'I know Nimwen, but come back to us soon. Be careful'.

She assured no threats were ahead. Neither father nor brother would ever leave her alone. She had no idea that Finarfin observed her with angry look but the decided not to pay any more attention to him any more. She decided to think rather about feast to come not terrible mood by Finarfin.


End file.
